LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax

[Heliomance]

Originally Posted by Absol197

I'm a little confused on how that could happen. You've probably already shared this, but if you wouldn't mind for those of us who were latecomers to the thread, would you be willing to regale us with the tale once more?

Sorry, only just saw this. What do you mean, exactly?

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

It's better tanh a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. A good pun should sinh better than that, though.

Ahh this is becoming painful.

[Heliomance]

Originally Posted by noparlpf

Ahh this is becoming painful.

I haven't even used my cosh yet...

[Kindablue]

Originally Posted by C'nor

Gah. Math jokes. Sorry for snapping at you, then, Kindablue. That's not my best subject at the best of times, so I didn't even realize they might have been there...

I didn't even register that as aggressive. I was scratching my head trying to figure out what discussion could come from a joke that corny though.

If those sexual reorientation therapies worked, I would go for asexual in a heartbeat.

[C'nor]

Originally Posted by Kindablue

I didn't even register that as aggressive. I was scratching my head trying to figure out what discussion could come from a corny nerd joke like that though.

If those sexual reorientation therapies worked, I would go for asexual in a heartbeat.

I'd thought you were saying that I should get out more, until I saw Helio's correction of it. And for once, I'm glad that the intent didn't come across in my post.

[Lentrax]

Originally Posted by Absol197

Huh? That wasn't me that posted that, it was Helio.

*Is very confused*

Yeah i realized that after I woke up, but I just couldn't muster enough willpower to edit it...

sorries.

[Selpharia]

Originally Posted by Absol197

You know, I've never had a nickname before (my, uh, current name isn't very condusive to one), so it's kinda fun to be able to have one now, but if you could sort of...knock the second syllable off that, I'd appreciate it. IT violates both of my rules of nicknames (Hint - Rule #1 is: The nickname must be shorter than the real name; I'll let you figure out Rule #2 ).

Oh, sorry, I'll call you Phee from now on. It was a bit of obscure avatar humor anyway. My avatar, Dahlia Hawthorne, is from the Phoenix Wright series of games. She was Phoenix Wright's college sweetheart, and called him "Feenie" so when you changed you name and avatar I couldn't resist. NB: She was also pretty much the worst girlfriend ever

Originally Posted by Absol197

That actually sounds very familiar! In my college house, if you had asked when we moved out, I'm pretty sure that everyone save one person would have said that they thought I was asexual (in different words, probably, but to the same effect). And the reasons were very similar to yours - I'm a pretty quiet person who prefers to listen, I don't like prolonged exposure to big crowds, and I was very subdued and introverted when it came to my sexuality, which created the illusion that I wasn't interested in anybody. An illusion I took no steps to break.

Of course, a lot of it probably had something to do with my confusion about my sexuality, and the fact that my favorite pass-time was imagining and/or praying for fastastic ways in which I could find myself in a female body. Probably not something you're dealing with .

Seriously Phee, why do you have all of my life experiences? I think my college roommates would have said the same thing, for much the same reasons.

Also I'm glad we got through that punny period, the bad jokes were occurring with alarming frequency, and as they were both derivative and not integral to the content of the thread, nor particularly well Taylored to the foci of discussion, I saw no reason to continue, even if we were on a Rolle

~Laura

[Arachu]

Originally Posted by C'nor

*Hugs back*

Apparently. (Sorry about dropping our RP, by the way. I couldn't figure out a good description for the place they were going.)

Neither could I, or I would've tried harder to keep it going...

Originally Posted by C'nor

That's not exactly what I've been meaning to say, but... Other stuff (which is personal and RL, so I can't really go into it) just came up in the past few minutes, so I'm not in a place to try to define it better right now.

*Hugs* Hope whatever it is gets better soon~

Originally Posted by C'nor

Considering my genetics, I'd probably have a sort of crimson first. Maybe a maroon. Depends on how long I stayed in the sun.

For a while I was somehow managing to feel like I had a bright red when I still had a really really pale even though I wore a jacket and didn't stay in sunlight for very long. x.@

Originally Posted by C'nor

Gah. Math jokes. Sorry for snapping at you, then, Kindablue. That's not my best subject at the best of times, so I didn't even realize they might have been there...

*Hugs* I'm a total math nerd, and I didn't catch it~


~Bianca

[SiuiS]

Originally Posted by Astrella

Oh, I also managed to fix some issues with my parents. I think I already mentioned that dad has suspicions about me seeing a therapist because of the one incident in August where he decided to follow me. So mum rummaged through my bank notes and found out I'd been taking trains somewhere so they decided to confront me with a lot of noise. :s

I told them I was seeing my psych (not therapist) for social anxiety /light agoraphobia which is something we talk about and which I've been diagnosed with (though it's mostly dysphoria fueled and some other stuff). And they were satisfied with that. I didn't really lie cause that is part of the truth and I'm able to use their insurance now for those sessions which is handy cause they're expensive. I feel like an Aes Sedai now. I feel sucky for being deceptive but I want to come out on my own terms and not have it forced on me; especially not by them disrespecting my privacy again. And I don't think I can deal with a (potentially) bad reaction now.

I think that went well, actually. I forgot how invasive you had said they were. I can understand, but it is still... Bluh. Glad it worked out for you though!

Also, what is an Aes Sedai? I'll have to try and google it.

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

River? Really? When Kaylee existed?

Originally Posted by C'nor

So, for once a question from me that's actually related to the thread topic - apparently, I come across as asexual and/or aromantic*, according to what several of my friends (or one and a few others who agreed, anyway) said recently. Which, y'know, isn't a bad thing, except that I'm not. What exactly might I be doing to give that impression?

*(The exact wording (or close enough to make no difference) used was "not looking for a relationship, whether physical or not", though I have a hard time seeing how the two would be different.)

Having read through, I think you're confusing "doesn't want a relationship (now)" with "doesn't want a relationship (ever)". All your friends said is they don't get the impression you're looking for a fish in the sea.

If it voters you though, you will have to take actions to change it. If it doesn't come up, force it. You could also take the high road, tell your friends that kind of bothered you, you do have interest but because of specifics it's never been polite or topical to discuss it. Full disclosure is somewhat harder in real life than on the Internet, but still a good idea.

Originally Posted by Arachu

That's the argument I've been using since I was ten. Everyone blew me off because I was young. My Senior-year Biology teacher even said that I was still a child and my brain still hadn't grown past my temples (note that I was 18).

Well I think your rain is still forming, and remains rather plastic until you're about 25, but that means you can change, not you will. Also your teacher sounds dangerously like one of those people who assume brain size is an actual discrepancy between humans.

*Starts to argue, but then pictures a snake in a catsuit...*

The rest of this post has been replaced by a mental image of a snake in a sleeping bag. Blame The Far Side.

[noparlpf]

The brain is mostly developed at eighteen, except for the frontal lobe, which deals with executive function. That means judgment and planning, basically. Also, adolescents have an interesting thing going on that results in increased susceptibility to peer pressure. A teenaged guy with two friends with him is ten times more likely to do something stupid than if he were alone.
So your Bio teacher had the right general idea--very general--but doesn't seem to have understood even the basics of the specifics.

Edit: The brain is mature at around 24-26, usually. It still retains some plasticity throughout life.

[SiuiS]

Originally Posted by Bianca

Apparently it's like a maze in there - opposite-turning corkscrews, dead ends, the whole thing moves sometimes... And that's when they're relaxing. o.o

I don't remember the context for this, but that sounds fascinating.
Right, duck defilement. No, I meant... Why?! If it's not even a reproductive strategy why do ducks do that? Are ducks just evil bastards?

My wallpaper is Scrioge McDuck and Rarity high-fiving. I'm not sure if I should remove it or keep it. Bad fan fiction keeps scrolling before my eyes ._.

I'm doing okay~ How about you? ^_^

Pretty good. I've been second-guessing when writing my filly, phrasing things to remove pronouns, and I got the courage up to refer to mesel' as 'her' and she didn't bat an eye, so that's a plus.

Otherwise work, work, work, no pay, and not enough work either. >P

Originally Posted by C'nor

I'm aware of that, yes. But that whole general topic comes up rather rarely, and even more so in such a way that there are good opportunities to do so.

I'm with Coidzor on this one. The reason why you come across that way is passivity. Activity is the only remedy. Having always been passive is no real excuse.

And Coidzor why do you have a different face dude what the what?

Originally Posted by Kindablue

It's not a sin to have a tan every once in a while.

Oh it's math! Wow. That... Hmm. That could have gotten dirty really fast.

I've asked before, but what is your signature? I cannot interpret its meanings.

Originally Posted by Absol197

*Wow, that's greeaaaat...

You know, I've never had a nickname before (my, uh, current name isn't very condusive to one), so it's kinda fun to be able to have one now, but if you could sort of...knock the second syllable off that, I'd appreciate it. *IT violates both of my rules of nicknames (Hint - Rule #1 is: The nickname must be shorter than the real name; I'll let you figure out Rule #2 ).

Aww, but I thought it was cute
I've also been avoiding that specifically, because we have a Phoe for what I brazenly assume are the same reasonings behind naming convention. Havin Phee and Phoe might get awkward D=

Oh! Maybe Pheenya? Still long, but Absol feels like the wrong word on my tongue. I get the impression you don't associate with the name anymore.

the fact that my favorite pass-time was imagining and/or praying for fastastic ways in which I could find myself in a female body. *Probably not something you're dealing*with .

How did we not knoooow
*wallet lists*

Originally Posted by Heliomance

FTFY. I couldn't get any of the others in without it becoming even more forced, though.

XD

Your next one actually hurt though >>;

Originally Posted by Kindablue

If those sexual reorientation therapies worked, I would go for asexual in a heartbeat.

If my friend from the army is correct, some
Of those therapies do work. It involves a PSA on syphilis, a bear trap and some issues of Playboy though.

[Coidzor]

Originally Posted by SiuiS

Also, what is an Aes Sedai? I'll have to try and google it.

Broadly speaking, members of an order of female magic-users from Robert Jordan's the Wheel of Time series.

Just felt like switching up avatars, really.

[Lentrax]

Wow. I feel so math illiterate now.

Guess I'm just not to seeing math functions without a page and a half of science to go with them.

*sighs*

[Jeff the Green]

Originally Posted by C'nor

Indeed it isn't. If it were, I suspect that I'd just be happy I wasn't having to deal with starting a relationship that quite possibly wouldn't work out, whether due to prejudice or just due to the other person's orientation.

But yes, quiet, uncomfortable with large crowds (mostly due to crowd noise driving me up the walls - movie theaters and such tend to be fine for me - but partly just due to all the people), and not really likely to bring up who I'm interested in, sounds about right as a description of me.

Hey, a subject I have personal experience in. (Though in my case, everyone assumed I was gay.. I wasn't expecting that in this thread.

Anyway, a couple of bits of advice. If your friend is bugging you, mention the people you've had crushes on in the past (not the ones you have crushes on now; that can get ugly unless you trust this friend compeletely) and point out how moving on it would have been a bad idea. If you do want a relationship, try to meet more people outside your circle of friends. While dating friends can work, it can also be messy. (Also dating [distant] family. Don't do that.) It's also not as bad if you strike out. Sure, it sucks to hit on a relative stranger and find they're not into you, but it's not as bad as hitting on a friend and finding out they're not into you. Finally, you sound like you might have some sort of social anxiety disorder. I say that only because you sound a bit like me, and I definitely have one. If you think you might, see a shrink if you can. It's hard to work out on your own.

Good luck, and if you need more advice and think I could help, drop me a PM.

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

Sorry, only just saw this. What do you mean, exactly?

Oh! I was wondering how you could get a gender-neutral name without changing it away from the name your parents gave you...

Originally Posted by Selpharia

Oh, sorry, I'll call you Phee from now on. It was a bit of obscure avatar humor anyway. My avatar, Dahlia Hawthorne, is from the Phoenix Wright series of games. She was Phoenix Wright's college sweetheart, and called him "Feenie" so when you changed you name and avatar I couldn't resist. NB: She was also pretty much the worst girlfriend ever

I've never played Phoenix Wright, but it sounds like they were fun games!

I do remember, however, that before Super Smash Bros. Brawl came out, there was one guy on the GameFAQS forum for that game who developed whole scripts for Phoenix Wright investigating crimes involving the characters from Smash Bros., and then let the whole forum play through them. And since then, my desire to play the originals has lessened considerably. If they're not about quirky videogame characters messing with each other, it just doesn't seem as interesting .

Originally Posted by Selpharia

Seriously Phee, why do you have all of my life experiences? I think my college roommates would have said the same thing, for much the same reasons.

~Laura

No! I'm not a fetch send here by mysterious forces from the land of fae to steal your life-experiences! What ever gave you that idea! <_< >_>

Seriously, though, I gues it's just a coincidence, albeit a lucky one . It definitely goes to show that we're not alone in this struggle, doesn't it?

Originally Posted by SiuiS

Aww, but I thought it was cute
I've also been avoiding that specifically, because we have a Phoe for what I brazenly assume are the same reasonings behind naming convention. Havin Phee and Phoe might get awkward D=

Oh! Maybe Pheenya? Still long, but Absol feels like the wrong word on my tongue. I get the impression you don't associate with the name anymore.

I never really associated with "Absol." It was just the name of a character I wrote about for a while, and I started using it everywhere. You can call me whatever you want (well, within reason). I just felt like I should put up a show of resisting, just once .

Originally Posted by SiuiS

How did we not knoooow
*wallet lists*

I never actually started doing the wallet list - I tried to start it, but I ended up needing a full page of notebook paper just to get down brief descriptions of each incident...

Originally Posted by SiuiS

If my friend from the army is correct, some
Of those therapies do work. It involves a PSA on syphilis, a bear trap and some issues of Playboy though.

This sounds incredibly frightening...I both want to know the details, and yet dread them...

[Astrella]

@C'nor; seconding Nope here mostly. People tend to assume that if you don't express any obvious interest that the interest isn't there. Being a bit more open about it could get rid of that though? Like, mentioning crushes (past or present), people you think are cute / attractive in media and rl, etc...

Originally Posted by Absol197

Yeesh! That sounds horrible! *Hugs!* You should definitely only tell them when the time is right for you. When talking about it with my therapist, she asked me something that I think that everyone who needs to do something like this should consider: when you look back on this moment, how do oyu want to remember it? My answer was that I didn't want to remember running away and taking the easy way out, but I also wanted to make sure I didn't have to answer all of the difficult questions myself, because I can be pretty bad at explaining things .

I would recommend the method I used, actually. I brought my parents with me to my therapist appointment, told them, and then she caught all the ensuing questions while my brain got unstuck and back in gear. Having backup, especially backup that has a medical degree and years of experience with the issue, was a real nice asset to have in that conversation.

*hugs*
The main thing scaring me is; and I guess you don't know that cause you weren't around is that I already sorta came out in the past to them. Sorta, because I just mentioned having gender issues and not outright saying that I'm a girl.

And that sorta resulted in both of them believing the internet was brainwashing me (and mum using some hurtful slurs in arguments) and them locking me off from the internet during the holidays which was ,considering most of my friends and support are online and I was really depressive back then, really awful. :/

Originally Posted by SiuiS

I think that went well, actually. I forgot how invasive you had said they were. I can understand, but it is still... Bluh. Glad it worked out for you though!

Also, what is an Aes Sedai? I'll have to try and google it.

Yeah... Thank you~

Aes Sedai are (at this point in time only female) magic users from the Wheel of Time series. They're pretty expert political manipulators and fight the Dark One. When they're raised to the rank of Aes Sedai they have to magically swear 3 Oaths; one of which is "To speak no word that is not true.". But that doesn't stop them from being good at manipulating.

[Socratov]

Originally Posted by Astrella

snip

Aes Sedai are (at this point in time only female) magic users from the Wheel of Time series. They're pretty expert political manipulators and fight the Dark One. When they're raised to the rank of Aes Sedai they have to magically swear 3 Oaths; one of which is "To speak no word that is not true.". But that doesn't stop them from being good at manipulating.

compare the unseelie fey from the Dresden Files They never lie, but that doesn't mean you can get even 1 straight word out of them. It's more likely you will get screwed over so well you won't even notice it

[Lix Lorn]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

It's better tanh a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. A good pun should sinh better than that, though.

Y'only managed the easy ones like cot'an tan!

(That was hard.)

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by Castaras

Smartly dressed vaguely attractive intelligent guy.

Spoiler

Clean shirt, new shoes
and I don't know where I am going to.
Silk suit, black tie,
I don't need a reason why.
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
cause every girl is crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

Gold watch, diamond ring,
I ain't missin' not a single thing.
cuff-links, stick pin
when I step out I'm gonna do you in.
They come a runnin' just as fast as they can
cause every girl is crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

Top coat, Top hat,
And I don't worry cause my wallets fat.
Black shades, white gloves,
lookin' sharp, lookin' for love.
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
cause every girl is crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

[SaintRidley]

I guess my partner liked it enough to put a ring on it.

I type this from the strange state of being that is being married.

[Asta Kask]

Congratulations! May you have many joyous days ahead!

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by SaintRidley

I guess my partner liked it enough to put a ring on it.

I type this from the strange state of being that is being married.

Congratulations!

[Lentrax]

Congratulations!

SPOILER ALERT:

Exciting times ahead!

[Astrella]

Originally Posted by SaintRidley

I guess my partner liked it enough to put a ring on it.

I type this from the strange state of being that is being married.

Congratulations!

[Asta Kask]

Can we get a picture of that ring, btw?

[golentan]

Originally Posted by SaintRidley

I guess my partner liked it enough to put a ring on it.

I type this from the strange state of being that is being married.

Is there more of a story here? I want story! Congrats.

[Keveak]

Originally Posted by SaintRidley

I guess my partner liked it enough to put a ring on it.

I type this from the strange state of being that is being married.

Congratulations. May you have a wonderful time ahead. ^_^

[Irish Musician]

Originally Posted by SaintRidley

I guess my partner liked it enough to put a ring on it.

I type this from the strange state of being that is being married.

Whoooooooooo!! Congrats!!!! That is awesome.

[Coidzor]

Originally Posted by SaintRidley

I guess my partner liked it enough to put a ring on it.

I type this from the strange state of being that is being married.

Hopefully not an unpleasant state for all its strangeness.

Not to sound insincere in my happiness for you, but I would have sworn that you got married last month. Am I remembering correctly or have I managed to get you and someone else mixed up or was that entire discussion all in my imagination?

Got any decent honeymoon plans or just get back from it then?

[supernerd]

Skimming in after a few days away!
Love the Pheonix!

Originally Posted by C'nor

...Helio is a squirrel with a claymore now?

And I was just thinking that she'd switch which of the Tams depending on her current gender.

Sorry, but I just have to say that I would approve of male Helio in a squirrel costume with a claymore. Would be awesome!

Originally Posted by SaintRidley

I guess my partner liked it enough to put a ring on it.

I type this from the strange state of being that is being married.

Best wishes to the both of you. I assume it can be a bit overwhelming.

In news: I'm currently experiencing infatuation again. And because it's mutual and I'm using this stage to get to know him, it's a wonderful feeling to have again.