Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

[Wookieetank]

Originally Posted by toapat

**what if they recurse through the 7 editions of DnD all the way back to the original game?

***Am not allowed to have my orginal D&D character make a 4e character who happens to be the character indirectly controlling the original D&D character.
****Making an uninterrupted loop through the D&D editions in this manner casues the multiverse to implode and I am reduced to playing Risus as my only PnP RPG medium.

[Riverdance]

*I may never have a skeleton key
**Plastic explosive is not "the cheap way in"
***Nor is a snowplow.

[Ksheep]

Originally Posted by Riverdance

*I may never have a skeleton key

** If I do get a skeleton key, all locks will henceforth be replaced by pin tumbler locks.

[tuggyne]

Originally Posted by Ksheep

** If I do get a skeleton key, all locks will henceforth be replaced by pin tumbler locks.

*** The DM is not concerned with anachronism, and I am not to argue against this change on that basis.

[Dimers]

Originally Posted by Riverdance

*I may never have a skeleton key

** With the exception of a skeletally reanimated, maul-wielding barbarian who smashes locks into itty bitty bits.

[D_Man_7733]

*If in any game where I have nothing under +25 in a social skill at lvl 9, I will not complain when the rest of the party attacks me without warning while I attempt to talk to them about "accidentally" using prestigitation to soil a party members hair while they sleep.

(The person in question was a girl who was playing a teenage royal half-sea-elf... not a good idea, especially when we hadn't had a good combat for an entire session)

**As the groups reputation builds I may not request "Open Negotiations" after asking the DM that my reputation would built as the "Silver Tongued Master of Persuasion" and expect not to be attacked on sight.

[Socratov]

Originally Posted by Adoendithas

* My 4E characters may not roll up characters and start playing 3.5E within the game.

Originally Posted by Ksheep

** My 3.5 characters can't roll up characters and start playing 2E within the game.

Originally Posted by Adoendithas

*** My 2E characters can't roll up characters and start playing AD&D within the game.

Originally Posted by Doxkid

*AD&D characters travelling to the future( and/or out of reality) and meeting the 4E characters that are playing the characters that are playing the characters that are playing them is right out.

Originally Posted by Doxkid

** If the players go too far in messing with reality, the DM is expected to kill someone/something a middle instance of the Matryoshka effect and watch the consequences trickle down through realities, laughing uproarously all the while.

*Whenever an idea is mentioned looking like this, this is an obligatory reference.

[Voyd211]

* My summoner/monk's eidolon cannot itself be a monk.
** My summoner/monk may not be a vampire.
*** Said vampire may not stop time.
** If my summoner/monk's first and last names both start with "Jo," I am to be removed from the game with extreme prejudice.
** I may no longer multiclass as summoner.

[Sith_Happens]

Originally Posted by Adoendithas

* My 4E characters may not roll up characters and start playing 3.5E within the game.

Originally Posted by Ksheep

** My 3.5 characters can't roll up characters and start playing 2E within the game.

Originally Posted by Adoendithas

*** My 2E characters can't roll up characters and start playing AD&D within the game.

Originally Posted by Doxkid

*AD&D characters travelling to the future( and/or out of reality) and meeting the 4E characters that are playing the characters that are playing the characters that are playing them is right out.

Originally Posted by Wookieetank

***Am not allowed to have my orginal D&D character make a 4e character who happens to be the character indirectly controlling the original D&D character.
****Making an uninterrupted loop through the D&D editions in this manner casues the multiverse to implode and I am reduced to playing Risus as my only PnP RPG medium.

I find your lack of fourth-wall-breaking distrubing.

* In any campaign set in the real world in the present day, I may not have my character intrude upon the tabletop gaming session in which he is being played.
** I may not then start a conversation with "myself."
*** "I" am not then required to narrate my "character's" responses in this conversation, and so on.
**** Congratulations, you just divded the campaign by zero. Are you happy now?

[Wookieetank]

Originally Posted by Sith_Happens

I find your lack of fourth-wall-breaking distrubing.

* In any campaign set in the real world in the present day, I may not have my character intrude upon the tabletop gaming session in which he is being played.
** I may not then start a conversation with "myself."
*** "I" am not then required to narrative my "character's" responses in this conversation, and so on.
**** Congratulations, you just divded the campaign by zero. Are you happy now?

Well played good sir.

[Adoendithas]

* Any characters in my Greyhawk-based campaign cannot run a campaign in a fantasy world which, coincidentally, is exactly like modern Earth.
** If this happens, my character's character cannot talk to me, the player.
*** This does NOT get around the previous post.

[Arbane]

* While it is all right for the Summoner to mercilessly abuse their summons as trap-springers, meatshields, and general damage sponges, Dretches still do not look like penguins, and do not address everyone as 'dood'.

[Riverdance]

*Any familiars with silly names such as "fifi," "toto," "lulu," "pepe," "bobo," etc.. should be expected to die.
**This goes for characters too.
***I am not to protest when Bobo the Fighter is eliminated in the funniest way the DM could think of.

[vasharanpaladin]

*I am to remember that using my books is a privelege, not a right.
**That means no worshiping elder evils for the bonus feats.
***Dark Chaos Shuffle is out, too.
****Assume LA buyoff is not in effect, even when it is.
*****The privelege has been revoked.
******...Wait, reverse that. Core is the privelege that's been revoked.

[Voyd211]

* My monk does not fight with nose hair, flatulence or any other ridiculous martial art not involving arms, legs and headbutts.

[eulmanis12]

*Duct Tape does not exist in D&D
**I may not invent it

*any plan of mine that I cannot deliver with a straight face is vetoed

*I may not use the spell, Summon instrament to drop grand pianos on my enemies.

[Rockphed]

Originally Posted by Riverdance

*Any familiars with silly names such as "fifi," "toto," "lulu," "pepe," "bobo," etc.. should be expected to die.
**This goes for characters too.
***I am not to protest when Bobo the Fighter is eliminated in the funniest way the DM could think of.

**** As a DM, if my attempts to kill Bobo the Fighter fail miserably, I am not trying hard enough.
***** If I "kill" a player's character by taking the sheet out back and burning it, I am not to be surprised when they had a backup sheet.

[Riverdance]

Originally Posted by Rockphed

**** As a DM, if my attempts to kill Bobo the Fighter fail miserably, I am not trying hard enough.
***** If I "kill" a player's character by taking the sheet out back and burning it, I am not to be surprised when they had a backup sheet.

******Naming the high level villain "Bubu" after killing said fighter is in bad taste.


*I may not look in the Iron Chef thread for inspiration.

[Shpadoinkle]

My lizardfolk Dragonfire Adept may not be named Godzilla.
* Or Gojira
** He is also banned from ever drinking potions of Enlarge Person
*** Or using scrolls of Enlarge Person via UMD
**** No, no wands either, damn it.
***** Especially not in a halfling city.
****** Nor is he allowed to commission a magic item that causes anyone speaking within 100' of him to have their lips appear two seconds out of synch with their words.

[Black Mage]

Characters in my game are no longer allowed to:
* Take ranks in Craft (Bodies)
** Use Craft (Bodies) to craft a tree made of corpses
*** Use the heads of said bodies as fruit on the corpse tree

A certain player in my group is no longer allowed to:
* Have ideas
** Share these ideas with the rest of the party
*** If he speaks, he is on time out.
**** Have a dagger that in one hit does more damage than the party fighter and barbarian both doing full attacks.
***** Possess, craft, or even know about, Lyres of Building

I am not allowed to:
* Accidentally make a gnomish Hitler
** Even if we happen to be fighting Jewish stereotypes
*** Especially if my primary form of attack is bombs that incinerate and gas everything

[Sith_Happens]

Originally Posted by Black Mage

I am not allowed to:
* Accidentally make a gnomish Hitler
** Even if we happen to be fighting Jewish stereotypes
*** Especially if my primary form of attack is bombs that incinerate and gas everything

**** Unless the attack in question is directed against the DM himself, then it's cool.

[Shpadoinkle]

I am no longer allowed to ruin the game by accidentally "figuring out" the "plot twist" (which was actually lifted from an old movie) halfway through the first paragraph of the DM's introductory monologue in the first session.
* Especially if the plot twist happens to be lifted from Zardoz.

I may no longer convince other players to make dwarven wizards who happen to be twins and fistbump before every fight while shouting "Thunder Twin Powers, activate!"
*Even if it IS a Forgotten Realms campaign.
** ESPECIALLY if it's a Forgotten Realms campaign.

[vasharanpaladin]

Originally Posted by vasharanpaladin

*I am to remember that using my books is a privelege, not a right.
**That means no worshiping elder evils for the bonus feats.
***Dark Chaos Shuffle is out, too.
****Assume LA buyoff is not in effect, even when it is.
*****The privelege has been revoked.
******...Wait, reverse that. Core is the privelege that's been revoked.

*******The warforged warblade that walks into the lake to kill the fish-monster with Stone Dragon maneuvers is pushing it.

[Black Mage]

* I am no longer allowed to play races with more than two arms
** Especially Xill
*** Especially if I make a Xill Warblade
**** I cannot name my character "The Meatgrinder"
***** Even if I one-round every monster we encounter.
****** I am no longer allowed to use or even mention Tome of Battle

[toapat]

Originally Posted by vasharanpaladin

*******The warforged warblade that walks into the lake to kill the fish-monster with Stone Dragon maneuvers is pushing it.

********which is impressive, as you managed to perform that after being banned from using the combat or interaction rules

[Adoendithas]

* Under no circumstances am I allowed to use the pressure at the bottom of the Elemental Plane of Water, the air pressure in Greyhawk, and the diameter of a Decanter of Endless Water to determine how hard it should be able to blast.

** 560 liters per second, by the way, with my assumptions about gravity and area.

[toapat]

Originally Posted by Adoendithas

* Under no circumstances am I allowed to use the pressure at the bottom of the Elemental Plane of Water, the air pressure in Greyhawk, and the diameter of a Decanter of Endless Water to determine how hard it should be able to blast.

** 560 liters per second, by the way, with my assumptions about gravity and area.

***Not to point out the fact that the Elemental Plane of water is infinte, and has infinite pressure

[Sith_Happens]

Originally Posted by Adoendithas

* Under no circumstances am I allowed to use the pressure at the bottom of the Elemental Plane of Water, the air pressure in Greyhawk, and the diameter of a Decanter of Endless Water to determine how hard it should be able to blast.

** 560 liters per second, by the way, with my assumptions about gravity and area.

The Elemental Plane of Water is explicitly endless in all directions, and therefore has negligible (not quite zero though due to being slightly non-uniform) net gravity at all points.

[alanek2002]

* we may no longer have only characters with reduced rest times.
** we may not have 1 small character who sleeps on a tenser's floating disc (through a talisman of the disc.) after taking watch for the others.
*** we may no longer find cheap magic items in major cities.

[Doorhandle]

Originally Posted by Black Mage

* I am no longer allowed to play races with more than two arms
** Especially Xill
*** Especially if I make a Xill Warblade
**** I cannot name my character "The Meatgrinder"
***** Even if I one-round every monster we encounter.
****** I am no longer allowed to use or even mention Tome of Battle

wouldn't using strikes instead of full-attacks be counterproductive if you're using multi-weapon fighting?