Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

[Black Mage]

Originally Posted by Adoendithas

******* Conversely, if the evil wizard's ritual involves chanting "Mica, Mica, Parva Stella! Miror Quaenam Sis Tam Bella! Splendens Eminus In Illo! Alba Velut Gamma Caelo! (etc.)" the players have the right to throw books.

Spoiler

For those who don't speak Latin, this translates roughly to "Twinkle, twinkle little star! How I wonder what you are! Up above the world so high! Like a diamond in the sky!

I facepalmed so hard

[Sith_Happens]

*My evil Druid/Lunar Exalt/etc.'s preferred form may not be that of a horse.
** I may not ride across the nation.
** My title is not nor shall it ever be the Thoroughbred of Sin.
*** I may not claim that it is anyways.
** All minions, hirelings, or followers that I come into possession of shall be mute and tone-deaf.

[LordDeathkeeper]

Originally Posted by Doxkid

*Singing a cheery song in/out of character in various characters and party roles is slightly odd.

*I should not adapt Disney songs to be sung in and out of character
**Especially not during the angry half-orc ranger's personal quest
***Even if the context seems very similar to Mulan.
****Especially if I'm not a Bard.

[rockdeworld]

Sadly true (sorry if it's been mentioned already):

*I may not play anything that requires me to use a calculator during character creation.
**Especially if it's a wizard.
***Or a cleric.
****Or rogue.
*****Or barbarian.

[Ksheep]

* I may not have the minions surrender after the PCs kill one of them with a single hit.
** I may not have further minions surrender as soon as they realize that the PCs are holding a half-dozen minions prisoner
*** I may not do this throughout the entire dungeon, until the PCs have over 100 minions held prisoner
**** Especially if the base they are infiltrating is in the middle of the ocean, and the PCs only have a small boat with them
***** I may not point out that leaving them there is a death sentence, as they are defenseless and they set an explosive device to go off in half an hour to destroy the doomsday machine located in said base.

[Sith_Happens]

Originally Posted by Ksheep

* I may not have the minions surrender after the PCs kill one of them with a single hit.
** I may not have further minions surrender as soon as they realize that the PCs are holding a half-dozen minions prisoner
*** I may not do this throughout the entire dungeon, until the PCs have over 100 minions held prisoner
**** Especially if the base they are infiltrating is in the middle of the ocean, and the PCs only have a small boat with them
***** I may not point out that leaving them there is a death sentence, as they are defenseless and they set an explosive device to go off in half an hour to destroy the doomsday machine located in said base.

* I may not have this be the breaking point that turns my character into a heartless killer, just to spite the GM.

[Ksheep]

Originally Posted by Sith_Happens

* I may not have this be the breaking point that turns my character into a heartless killer, just to spite the GM.

** Especially if my character had been a paragon of what a good paladin should be up to that session…

[Socratov]

Originally Posted by Ksheep

** Especially if my character had been a paragon of what a good paladin should be up to that session…

***It is bowever a valid plotpoint to enter the greygyard prc

[jaybird]

* I may never throw a Psyk-Out grenade into the explosion radius of a Vortex grenade.

[Forrestfire]

Originally Posted by jaybird

* I may never throw a Psyk-Out grenade into the explosion radius of a Vortex grenade.

I really want to know the story behind this one

[Theoboldi]

*I may no longer urge the bard to sing 'What do we do with a drunken sailor?'
**Especially not during the elevator ride into the underworld.
***I may not cause a retcon so that the whole party has sang this song during the elevator ride into the underworld.
****I may not spend half an hour of the session singing sea shanties, no matter what.

[Blightedmarsh]

I really want to know the story behind this one

A vortex grenade kind of rips a hole in the fabric of space and time to a corrupting hell dimension and sucks everything in a given radius in it.

Psykout is an industrial byproduct of the golden throne (a kind of psychik interstellar lighthouse and mile high life support machine for a physical god fueled by human sacrifice). Its effects on Psykers are not pleasant.

Why you wouldn't want to mix the two I don't know but I can well imagine that its not just a waste of good psykout.

[Craft (Cheese)]

Originally Posted by Theoboldi

*I may no longer urge the bard to sing 'What do we do with a drunken sailor?'
**Especially not during the elevator ride into the underworld.
***I may not cause a retcon so that the whole party has sang this song during the elevator ride into the underworld.
****I may not spend half an hour of the session singing sea shanties, no matter what.

*****No, not even if you're actually on a ship.

[Forrestfire]

Originally Posted by Blightedmarsh

A vortex grenade kind of rips a hole in the fabric of space and time to a corrupting hell dimension and sucks everything in a given radius in it.

Psykout is an industrial byproduct of the golden throne (a kind of psychik interstellar lighthouse and mile high life support machine for a physical god fueled by human sacrifice). Its effects on Psykers are not pleasant.

Why you wouldn't want to mix the two I don't know but I can well imagine that its not just a waste of good psykout.

I have this mental image of a bunch of Daemons sitting around when the psych-out grenade pops in front of them. I'd imagine exploding an anti-psyker bomb in the warp would have some spectacular results.

[Zahhak]

* I am not Asmodeous, god of fire and fear
** I may no longer start a sentence with "I, Asmodeous, god of fire and fear, demand..."
*** Especially not "I, Asmodeous, god of fire and fear, demand you bring me a coke"
**** Or, "I, Asmodeous, god of fire and fear, demand you bring me an enchilada"
***** Or, "I, Asmodeous, god of fire and fear, demand you read me a bedtime story"

[vasharanpaladin]

*May never encourage the "meathead party" again.
**Especially if the current DM was one of the players who'd found the potion of inflict light wounds in the treasure hoard.
***Doubly so if the current DM was the player who'd died from it.

[Daemonhawk]

*I may not have my Marshal arrest the barmaids by singing Trina's "Pull Over"
**Even if part of the DM's description includes something about tight-fitting clothing.
***I am no longer allowed to play a Marshal.

[Sith_Happens]

* My daiklave is not a drill.
** I may not use any charm to turn it into a drill.
** Spinning it really really fast and pretending it's a drill is right out.
** There is no such charm as Glorious Solar Drill.
*** I may not develop the charm Glorius Solar Drill.
* No matter how hard I punch someone in the face, it will not end their limit break.
* Warstriders cannot combine.
** Not even if I stunt it.
* My stunts may no longer involve asking people who the hell they think I am.
* I must stop referring to Essence as "Spiral Power," whether in or out of character.
* I may not even think about playing an Alchemical.

[Malak'ai]

*My female characters may no longer clutch a piece of jewellery and shout out some rediculas statement involving a celestrial body while putting on her armour.
**Said female character may no longer call out rediculas statements involving celestrial bodies when making an attack.
***She may no longer pretend to be a normal, innocent teenage girl when everyone knows exactly what she is.
****No, she is not the soldier of Love.
*****Nor Justice.
******Having an awakened cat familiar isn't allowed either.
*******Having her future daughter turn up out of nowhere to fight along side her is right out.
********I am no longer allowed to watch SailorMoon... Ever!

[Sith_Happens]

Originally Posted by Malak'ai

*My female characters may no longer clutch a piece of jewellery and shout out some rediculas statement involving a celestrial body while putting on her armour.
**Said female character may no longer call out rediculas statements involving celestrial bodies when making an attack.
***She may no longer pretend to be a normal, innocent teenage girl when everyone knows exactly what she is.
****No, she is not the soldier of Love.
*****Nor Justice.
******Having an awakened cat familiar isn't allowed either.
*******Having her future daughter turn up out of nowhere to fight along side her is right out.
********I am no longer allowed to watch SailorMoon... Ever!

* I may not convince the rest of the party to play Sailor Senshi members as well.
** Especially not if it's supposed to be a horror campaign.
*** If the above rule is broken, I should expect the GM to come to the second session having watched the entirety of Madoka Magica.

[Unbeknownst]

*I may not throw an untouchable into a warp portal.
**Even if I don't like him.
***And he's unconsious.

[Ksheep]

* I may not shoot the king with an Arrow of Human Slaying
** Especially if the guards stripped us of all our weapons before we entered the throne room
*** No, I don't care if you had your bow and single arrow in your glove of storing, you can't do it
**** "Because his rambling speech was boring" isn't a good reason for you do do that
***** You know what? Fine, he's dead, and his stuck-up annoying daughter is now head of the state, and she's asking for your head on a platter

[tuggyne]

Originally Posted by Ksheep

* I may not shoot the king with an Arrow of Human Slaying
** Especially if the guards stripped us of all our weapons before we entered the throne room
*** No, I don't care if you had your bow and single arrow in your glove of storing, you can't do it
**** "Because his rambling speech was boring" isn't a good reason for you do do that
***** You know what? Fine, he's dead, and his stuck-up annoying daughter is now head of the state, and she's asking for your head on a platter

****** No, you do not have another Arrow of Human Slaying.
******* You just don't, OK?

[Doorhandle]

Originally Posted by tuggyne

****** No, you do not have another Arrow of Human Slaying.
******* You just don't, OK?

May not become immune to a hunter's favored enemy because "humanoids are the real monsters."

[DigoDragon]

• No longer allowed to shoot the Captain of the Guard in front of the troops.
• Doesn't matter if he is the BBEG in disguise. No one will believe you.
• If you go through a dungeon and skip every trap, monster encounter, and secret treasure room you find, you are not allowed to complain that the dungeon lacked anything to do.

[Socratov]

Originally Posted by Sith_Happens

* I may not convince the rest of the party to play Sailor Senshi members as well.
** Especially not if it's supposed to be a horror campaign.
*** If the above rule is broken, I should expect the GM to come to the second session having watched the entirety of Madoka Magica.

That is cruel. Just. Cruel.

*Movies I'm not allowed to borrow lines from:

• Crocodile Dundee
• Asterix and Obelix (any of them really)
• Scary Movie (again, any of them)
• Any movie with Vin Diesel
• Any movie with Christian Bale
• or Mike Myers for that matter
• This list is not exhaustive and may be updated at the DM's convenience

[Esprit15]

DnD
* May not make a Craft (Basket) check while making a Swim check.
* Necromancy is not a right. It's barely even a privilege.
* Gorrillas may not have mounts.
* If the best thing I can think to do with Minor Creation is summon vegetables to throw at people, I may no longer have Minor Creation.
** No more Psionics.
* I may not have a CHA penalty.

PTTA
* Even if I am several levels higher than the next highest party member, I may not kill people in the party without good justification both IC and OOC.
** They annoy me is not a good reason.
* No longer allowed to be in charge of looting the bodies.
* Spirits of death are not be the best moral guides. Or even that good of ones.
** Computers are bad at ethics too.
* May not have access to Probability Control
** May not have access to Chosen One
*** No way may I have access to both.
* May not solve any main plot issue with a token given by a legendary before we even are in any danger.
** May not save the token until the very end of the game and then use it to kill the BBEG after everyone but me has forgotten that the token exists.
** May not sell said token on eBay once the campaign is over and then have the PC retire and live a life of luxury because he sold a scale of a god.
** May not make an ear ring out of it.
*** Especially may not make a gauge out of it.
**** Incorporating it into my Hexing focus is okay, but a bit of a waste.
** May not summon gods to kill party members.
*** Especially if the reason is simply "They annoy me."
**** Doubly so if they work for other gods.
***** No matter how awesome it would be to watch Rayquayza duke it out with Latios and Latias, I may not.
****** May not have my cousin, a Touched of Giratina, have his patron god join the brawl so the numbers will be even.
** If a god ever gives me the ability to call on them once for aid, I am to decline this offer.

[Kazyan]

*As a melee character, my damage rolls may not involve six or more individual dice, which aren't all of the same damage type.
**It is particularly annoying to have a whole bunch of attacks so that I need to do this over and over, without even being that effective.
***Just, no more Totemists, alright? "d4gnarök" takes forever.

[Adoendithas]

Originally Posted by Zahhak

* I am not Asmodeous, god of fire and fear
** I may no longer start a sentence with "I, Asmodeous, god of fire and fear, demand..."
*** Especially not "I, Asmodeous, god of fire and fear, demand you bring me a coke"
**** Or, "I, Asmodeous, god of fire and fear, demand you bring me an enchilada"
***** Or, "I, Asmodeous, god of fire and fear, demand you read me a bedtime story"

Wow, my PC's actually did this last session to intimidate some demons.

EDIT: The * and ** ones, not the later ones.

[LordDeathkeeper]

Originally Posted by Sith_Happens

* My daiklave is not a drill.
** I may not use any charm to turn it into a drill.
* My stunts may no longer involve asking people who the hell they think I am.
* I must stop referring to Essence as "Spiral Power," whether in or out of character.

*My familiar my not loudly broadcast telepathic messages containing quotes from Kamina whenever a Fear effect is used on the party.
**We are not immune to fear and/or morality penalties because we believe in him believing in us.