Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

[Morithias]

Originally Posted by Alabenson

*Not allowed to spend all of my starting gold on cats, dogs, or any other animal.

I actually did something like that once. I was so I had "allies" that I could use an unholy set of armor to transfer damage to, and their saves were low enough they were likely to fail most of the time.

[Voyd211]

Originally Posted by Adoendithas

Spoiler

Now I'm curious, too. :P

Some of the bells would be easy (in 4E at least, 3.5 I don't know). Ranna could just be a Sleep spell; Kibeth would have a Slide effect, or possibly one-turn Domination; Dyrim would be Speak With Dead and/or Silence; Saraneth would be a more powerful domination effect. But Mosrael, Belgaer, and Astarael I can't find any precedent for. Maybe Mosrael could let the ringer spend some healing surges for the target? Or Raise Dead with a large healing surge cost rather than material?

Death might work with the idea of Death Saving Throws, although it's not perfect. Someone is in the First Precinct if they're at negative hit points, the Second/Third after they fail their first death saving throw, the Fourth/Fifth after another failure, and the Sixth if they're dead but can still be raised or animated. I'm not even going to try to write rules for going into death, they would take up multiple pages.

Speaking of which...

* I may not nerd-snipe people with literary references!

Quick! To the Homebrew-mobile! Dananananananana~

* My rogue should not cause alignment arguments that span the entirety of the internet.
** My rogue's parents are not DEEEEAAAAAD!
** My rogue cannot breathe in space.

[Riverdance]

Originally Posted by Voyd211

Quick! To the Homebrew-mobile! Dananananananana~

* My rogue should not cause alignment arguments that span the entirety of the internet.
** My rogue's parents are not DEEEEAAAAAD!
** My rogue cannot breathe in space.

***My rogue cannot survive nuclear explosions, no matter what level he is.
****My rogue may not have a highly mobile tank
*****He may not then use it to wreck perfectly good roofs.

[BootStrapTommy]

Originally Posted by Elemental

****But by that time it makes no difference because the economy has long since been destroyed.

Inflation's a bitch.

*If I have over 100 AC, I should not be surprised when the WHOLE party takes advantage of the fact that my two tower shields constitution full concealment.
**I may no longer build characters who throw tower shields like boomerangs.

*As a halfling artificer I may not mount a decanter of endless water to my helmet with a smaller nozzle in order to turn it on and fly around the room spinning and spraying everything.
**Nor can the cleric then caste desecrate water to do more damage.

[Voyd211]

*My monk cannot throw 100 punches with one technique.
** Even if he could, his coat should not disintegrate beforehand.
** Poking someone in strategic spots will not cause them to explode violently.
** Monks cannot manipulate air currents to form invisible blades.

[Doxkid]

Originally Posted by Voyd211

*My monk cannot throw 100 punches with one technique.
** Even if he could, his coat should not disintegrate beforehand.
** Poking someone in strategic spots will not cause them to explode violently.
** Monks cannot manipulate air currents to form invisible blades.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with this list; I'm at least 80% sure monks are SUPPOSE to do each of those things.

[Voyd211]

Originally Posted by Doxkid

I see absolutely nothing wrong with this list; I'm at least 80% sure monks are SUPPOSE to do each of those things.

I'm going to guess you don't get the Fist of the North Star reference.

[Dimers]

I got the reference, and I too think that monks should be able to do those things.

Although, for invisible blades made of air, I prefer the bard/monks in Kung Fu Hustle.

[Doxkid]

I got the reference, but that doesn't change the fact that the quoted list is among the top10 most normal things for a game. From this full series of threads, no less.

[eulmanis12]

*when playing a cleric and being chased by a group of angry barbarians described as "clad in the furs of horrible beasts" I may not defeat them by casting reserection on their clothing

[Elemental]

Originally Posted by Adoendithas

Now I'm curious, too. :P

Some of the bells would be easy (in 4E at least, 3.5 I don't know). Ranna could just be a Sleep spell; Kibeth would have a Slide effect, or possibly one-turn Domination; Dyrim would be Speak With Dead and/or Silence; Saraneth would be a more powerful domination effect. But Mosrael, Belgaer, and Astarael I can't find any precedent for. Maybe Mosrael could let the ringer spend some healing surges for the target? Or Raise Dead with a large healing surge cost rather than material?

Death might work with the idea of Death Saving Throws, although it's not perfect. Someone is in the First Precinct if they're at negative hit points, the Second/Third after they fail their first death saving throw, the Fourth/Fifth after another failure, and the Sixth if they're dead but can still be raised or animated. I'm not even going to try to write rules for going into death, they would take up multiple pages.

Speaking of which...

* I may not nerd-snipe people with literary references!

Actually, Astarael would be the easiest. After all, doesn't it merely throw everyone who hears it far into Death? I.e. killing them?
But the main difficulty is that each bell has numerous functions based on how you ring them and whether or not you ring them in conjunction with other bells and who hears them...

I'm just going to say that any attempt to stat them would not do it justice.

[LordDeathkeeper]

*Going to a church and praying for your friends to be revived does not involve a diplomacy check against the respective deity.

[Dimers]

Originally Posted by LordDeathkeeper

*Going to a church and praying for your friends to be revived does not involve a diplomacy check against the respective deity.

** If the phrase "Aww, c'mon!" is ever employed, the deceased will thereafter require the casting of a wish or miracle instead of raise dead.
*** If, upon hearing this result, the living character follows up with the phrase "Well screw you, then!" at least one atonement and one mark of justice will additionally be required.
**** Cash up front for castings.

[Balmas]

Originally Posted by Blightedmarsh

***It increases it to 9001

Fixed that for you.

*As a monk, I may not use the fact that unarmed strike can be any part of my body to argue for extra blows.
**Getting 9 attacks per round is never going to happen.
***Tacking Flurry of blows on top of that is just rude.
****Doing it as a standard action is too.
*****Not allowed to play Monk.

[Krazzman]

* I'm not allowed to play a monk that lobs Totemic-Stautes around.
** Asking him to be a Awakened Panda is out
*** No more recent WoW references!
** Going for Elemental Fist is ok
*** restricting yourself to just one element makes the DM's job easier... go ahead.
**** After dying I should not use the exact same character again
***** Saying that he was your Brother has already been done too often
****** No more ranks in Perform (Sing) allowed to sing the Intro Song of the Movie/Series the character is based from
******* No More Cheesy/Bad Movies while planning for new Characters!

[Voyd211]

More Garth Nix.

* As a DM, my group of BBEG's may not be named after days of the week.
** Their weapons are not keys.
** The various planes are not the Secondary Realms.

* Humans are not used as raw materials for any monsters other than flesh golems.
** Flesh golems do not come in varieties that track, fly and command.
** My flesh golem creators are not color-coded for our convenience.
** I am not Shade.

[DigoDragon]

No longer allowed to create Super Heroes based on the following subjects:

• JELL-O Pudding
• 99 Bottles of Beer
• Barrels of Monkeys
• Robot Ninja Catboys
• Any former President of the United States
• Any former President of any other country
• Mr. Rogers

[Winds]

*May not peruse the thread for setting ideas
**Not even if it's just reminders about books you liked

***Your setting should not be based on a work the rest of the group is unfamiliar with
****This rule is to be applied exponentially to any work no one else wants to watch/read/whatever

[Adoendithas]

Originally Posted by Voyd211

More Garth Nix.

* As a DM, my group of BBEG's may not be named after days of the week.
** Their weapons are not keys.
** The various planes are not the Secondary Realms.

* Humans are not used as raw materials for any monsters other than flesh golems.
** Flesh golems do not come in varieties that track, fly and command.
** My flesh golem creators are not color-coded for our convenience.
** I am not Shade.

*Light in various colors cannot imitate any other spell.
**I need Prismatic Ray.

[Wookieetank]

Originally Posted by DigoDragon

No longer allowed to create Super Heroes based on the following subjects:

• JELL-O Pudding
• 99 Bottles of Beer
• Barrels of Monkeys
• Robot Ninja Catboys
• Any former President of the United States
• Any former President of any other country
• Mr. Rogers

Continuation:[*]Chuck Norris
[*]Commander Shepard
[*]Jack Sparrow
[*]Megamind
[*]Grue

Originally Posted by Voyd211

...

* Humans are not used as raw materials for any monsters other than flesh golems.
** Flesh golems do not come in varieties that track, fly and command.
** My flesh golem creators are not color-coded for our convenience.
** I am not Shade.

***Am not allowed to use study of flesh golems to create the first human reaper.
****Researching any sort of singularity type organism/event is right out.
*****Watching/playing anything Sci-fi before playing in a fantasy campaign is no longer allowed.

[Elemental]

Originally Posted by Voyd211

More Garth Nix.

* As a DM, my group of BBEG's may not be named after days of the week.
** Their weapons are not keys.
** The various planes are not the Secondary Realms.

Though that does give me an interesting idea for a campaign in which seven powerful sorcerers/wizards must be defeated over the course of seven days to release an ancient force of good...

[Adoendithas]

* My 4E characters may not roll up characters and start playing 3.5E within the game.

[Ksheep]

Originally Posted by Adoendithas

* My 4E characters may not roll up characters and start playing 3.5E within the game.

** My 3.5 characters can't roll up characters and start playing 2E within the game.

[Adoendithas]

Originally Posted by Ksheep

** My 3.5 characters can't roll up characters and start playing 2E within the game.

*** My 2E characters can't roll up characters and start playing AD&D within the game.

[Doxkid]

*AD&D characters travelling to the future( and/or out of reality) and meeting the 4E characters that are playing the characters that are playing the characters that are playing them is right out.

[toapat]

Originally Posted by Doxkid

*AD&D characters travelling to the future( and/or out of reality) and meeting the 4E characters that are playing the characters that are playing the characters that are playing them is right out.

*****Now that is a campaign idea

[Doxkid]

** If the players go too far in messing with reality, the DM is expected to kill someone/something a middle instance of the Matryoshka effect and watch the consequences trickle down through realities, laughing uproarously all the while.

[Ksheep]

* If my players DO try to start a game-within-a-game, all games will spontaneously morph into Paranoia.

[toapat]

Originally Posted by Ksheep

* If my players DO try to start a game-within-a-game, all games will spontaneously morph into Paranoia.

**what if they recurse through the 7 editions of DnD all the way back to the original game?

[Kelb_Panthera]

Originally Posted by toapat

**what if they recurse through the 7 editions of DnD all the way back to the original game?

*Then paranoia, only with two cities competing for resources and engaged in a secret war with one another. All the "who can I trust, (A: noone)" with twice the lethality.