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I just had an idea. Seeing as how I love to optimize absurd concepts, I want to enlist the playground to help me by throwing the most convoluted, ridiculous, and downright silly character ideas at me for me to try my hand at.
Other optimizers are welcome to post their takes on any concepts they see here, and hopefully this will spiral into a goofy amalgamation of T-Rex Bards and
Multiheaded Chimeric Gelatinous Skeleton Tauric Symbiotic Saint Weretiger Pseudonatural Half-Troll Toad+Anthropomorphic Toad/Giant Toads
Half Giant Stealth/Caster
Gollum the Panty Snatcher
Anthro Squid of Annoyance
Rocky and Bullwinkle
A beholder’s favorite foods include small live mammals, exotic mushrooms and other fungi, gnomes, beef, pork, colorful leafy vegetables, leaves, flower petals, insects, and birds.
Jumplomancer probably qualifies... everyone worships you because of your ability to jump legendary distances. Red shirt and hat and blue coveralls appear to be mandatory, although a white/brown color scheme also works for the upgraded version with three levels in Pyrokeneticist. Either way, ranks in Profession (Plumber) are also apparently mandatory.
And of course, the Half Dragon Anthro Turtle whom is his nemesis.
While Bearington Bearman the Bearbearian is meant more as an example of how optimizing =/= cheese/munchkinry, it is also an extremely silly build when you look at it objectively.
Originally Posted by GungHo, on Battletech
The Atlas is also goofy but it has that whole "Stay Puft Marshmallow Man" menacing smile thing going for it. The guy who drew that one up was obviously taken to the Nutcracker when he was a child... and he was screaming in terror the entire time.
Originally Posted by Enterti, Cogidubnus
Glyphstone, out of all the playground I think you scare me the most...
I was working on a Telflammar Shadowlord. He was going to be an Arcanist (Wizards, Mystic Ranger, or Duskblade w/out Extra Spell earrata), and Twin Repeat Spell Celerity and have Daze Immunity, and then use a Wand of Dimension Hop to convert the Standard actions into full attacks.
I'm still fiddling with several build figuring this one out.
A half-giant stealth/caster was pretty jokes, but one that's really cool is marshal /factotum/beguiler on a mongrelfolk. An ugly little creature charming everyone left and right. Its Gollum the panty snatcher (cue mental image)
I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it. - Elwood P Dowd
Originally Posted by Spuddles
You're going to want tetrochloroethylene if it's in pencil, acetone if it's permanent marker, or water if it's pen.
Anything involving an Anthropomorphic Giant Squid who runs around slapping people with his 8 tentacle natural attacks. If there is a way to get nonlethal sneak attacks in there, then that would be amazing.
Last edited by HunterOfJello : 10-13-2012 at 05:21 AM.
Troll-blooded Hengeyokai Champion of the Wild Ranger 4/Savage Ghost 4/Warshaper 4/Primeval (Giant Octopus) 8
Possess creatures with Malevolence, get all Warshaper's immunities, turn arbitrary appendages into natural weapons, only be destroyed by fire, moan to freak out huskies, and when things get crazy, make the possessed creature erupt a mass of flailing tentacles.
This is my take on the trouserfang dwarf. It uses a modified version of the "can't touch this" build by Person_Man
It's a natural attack charger/tank. The crusader level is for the Leading the Charge stance and effective DR/5
The Guardian of Evermeadow
In the hidden forest of Whisperwind, at the base of Mount Tall, lies the villiage of Evermeadow. It is a place where no evil creature dares enter, for not a single one has come back to tell the tale in over a century.
It all started during the battle of nights, where every able-bodied man for miles around was enlisted by King Longbeard IV to assist in his crusade against the Meanlings. One such man went by the name of Darvil Metalweapon. He was of kind heart and brave soul, so became a field medic. He was a man of science and had discovered a way to reverse-engineer toxins found in a certain snake to heal wounds rather than cause them. With his medical expertise, he won the battle of nights and returned to his hometown of Evermeadow.
Upon his arrival, a voice called down to him from the heavens, telling him that he had been chosen by the great dragon Bahamut to fight in the endless battle against Tiamat. He was remade in Bahamut’s image, and never seen again.
Ever since that day, it’s been as if a silent protector has watched over the town of Evermeadow, and even the meanlings have dissapeared from within mount tall, leaving the villiagers free to harvest it’s precious Rarium
NAME:Darvil Metalweapon ALIGNMENT:Chaotic Good STR:22(16 base+6 VoP) DEX:6 (8 base-2 race) CON:35(18 base+4 race+5 levels+8 VoP) INT:8 WIS:16(12 base+4 VoP) CHA:6(8 base+2 VoP-2 Race-2 Flaw) CLASS:Ranger, Totemist, Crusader, Monk, Fist of the Forest, Deepwarden RACE:Dragonborn Dwarf, Heart Aspect LANGUAGES:Common, Dwarven ANIMAL COMPANION: Tiny Viper BOOKS USED:Core, Magic of Incarnum(Totemist), Book of Exalted Deeds(Vow of poverty), Unearthed Arcana(Flaws), Fiendish Codex 1, Tome of Battle(Crusader),Races of the Dragon (Dragonborn, Dragon Tail), Races of Stone(Deepwarden), Complete Champion(Fist of the Forest) FLAWS:Shaky, Pathetic(CHA)
Good-aligned Dvati Shaman 20 with vermin companion; Hero, Trickery and Spell Domains; Feats for Ocular spell, Alternate Spell Source and DMM: Persist.
For a companion, grab a Gargantuan Monstrous Spider with webs and the Wingstorm feat (feats are only available at level 20, but a smaller spider could keep the build together at lower levels); persist Giant Size, Righteous Might, Divine Power, Divine Favor and Celestial Aspect [Wings of the Astral Deva] on it, and persist Reduce Persons on the Shaman (through Ocular+Alternate Spell Source+Greater Anyspell shenanigans). And since we're talking a high enough level build for a colossal flying spider and Nightsticks are cheap, let's also persist Disguise Self on the companion (to look like a big white moth) and some more shenaniganed Celestial Aspect wings on the fairies.
Proceed to have annoying fairies sneak around, talk in synch and drop some weird magical action as a giant moth flies through metropolitan areas biting, wind-gusting and spraying web at things.