While the vast majority of film-goers fully understand movie theater etiquette, it seems there’s always one who deems it OK to talk loudly, throw popcorn or take calls on their mobile phone. Such people can turn what had the potential to be a great night into two hours of frustrating, blood-boiling torture. Sure, you can say something, but if the posters, notices, warnings and on-screen reminders aren’t enough to communicate to the person that such behaviour is inconsiderate, it’s likely your complaint will simply fall on deaf ears.
Intent on improving the movie theater experience for its patrons, one cinema in the UK has taken a humorous approach to the situation by using ‘cinema ninjas’ to patrol the theater during a screening, looking out for trouble-making transgressors.
That's kind of amussing. I'm not applying until they let the "ninjas" garrote the bastards though.
A tap on the shoulder with a whispered warning just isn't a firm enough resolution, IMO.
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I had this mental image of a man stealthily pulling out his cell phone , only to watch it suddenly explode as a shuriken tears it to bits. Or maybe one of those sword-faster-than-the-eye trick where there's a loud WHOOOSH and there's a brief tableau before the phone gently splits into two pieces and crumbles away.
Respectfully,
Brian P.
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I had this mental image of a man stealthily pulling out his cell phone , only to watch it suddenly explode as a shuriken tears it to bits. Or maybe one of those sword-faster-than-the-eye trick where there's a loud WHOOOSH and there's a brief tableau before the phone gently splits into two pieces and crumbles away.
Respectfully,
Brian P.
Well, to do that, you'd have to somehow enforce artistic license on physics.
Last time I went to the movies, I saw mothers loading kids they knew had ADHD with at least two kinds of sugar and I can not count how many opted to include there screaming babies to add to our viewing pleasure.
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I rarely have the probelem of other peopl being rude, because I usually go to movies on sunday nights 2 weeks into their run, because the less people around the less likely somebody will be offended by me drinking Jack Daniels through the whole movie. I'd hate for a ninja to get my bottle with a shuriken.
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Well, to do that, you'd have to somehow enforce artistic license on physics.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - the laws of physics *suck*.
If these guys ever feel like expanding their techniques, I'd be happy to mail them some piano wire, or possibly silk cords. A quiet method like that would be preferable to having them use their elite ninja techniques to snap necks. Otherwise it'd just be the crackling of popcorn with slightly more morbid (and amusing) overtones.
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Proof that avataring standards in the Playground have reached an all-time low:
I haven't been to the cinema much this year, but I was amazed last night at how darn noisy the auditorium was. There were people who seemed to wait until the film started to open their food (and the cinema has a wide-ranging food policy, so this was particularly noisy). The woman behind me at one point got up and spent five minutes folding her (rustly, PVC) coat. There was also a near-constant progression of people in and out of the auditorium to use (presumably) the toilets, starting around 15 minutes in. Maybe it was just that cinema.
At least nobody was talking loudly, and no phones went off. In fact, they had the usual Orange "don't let a mobile phone ruin your movie" advert during the trailers, featuring people operating in a similar (but much more intrusive) capacity to these "ninjas".
Shortly before christmas one year, I broke my leg.
This was the christmas season where Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring premiered.
You know Boromir's big speech? Yeah, that one?
Right as Aragorn reaches him, a cellphone directly behind me starts ringing.
Guy: "Huh? Yeah hi. Yeah I'm watching LotR right now? Eh, it's okay and all--"
At this point I stand up. With my crutches.
"Hi. We'd like to watch the film please. Mind knocking that off?"
He replies with "sit back down cripple"
By this point, several people have noticed our exchange. They were quite shocked. He shamefully puts it away. I sit back down.
It rings again. He pulls it out again.
"Hello? Yeah, good film and all. Not really my thing though--"
*whack*
*crunch*
*cheer*
To explain, I stood up with one crutch, I balanced on one leg, and used the other crutch to hit the phone out of his hand. It flew across the theater where it hit the wall and shattered. The audience cheered. The man stood up outraged to say something about his phone, but about that time an usher stepped in and escorted him out. To which more of the audience cheered.
I received quite a few pats on the back and well wishes for that as I hobbled out on the crutches. If I somehow received a paycheck on top of all that? Oh man I think I would have cried.
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