Spoiler'd because of length...and spoilerness (whatever that may be)
Spoiler
So, there's this website I go onto all the time. I'm gonna be discrete and not name it cause this is kind of personal and I don't feel like giving names – though you might be able to guess a few things based on descriptions. Anyway, this site's got all this fun content and videos and other cool stuff that's managed to entertain me for awhile -a few years. Anyway, said site is doing some new stuff - some new projects. They need new people to handle said projects - creative people. Anyway, I was on the site awhile ago when I learned one of these said people was my roommate from freshman year of college.
Now, naturally, you'd assume I'd be thrilled at this - someone I know knows people who have provided me with a ton of entertainment over the years. Maybe there'd even be a potential for him to introduce me to the creative team behind the site, which would be awesome. Well, it's not that. I'm not thrilled. I'm...what's the word?...shocked, surprised, saddened, depressed, a little angry, confused, very confused. The phrase "psychological crisis" is not unfit to describe my current state.
A little backstory - I was roommates with this guy as I said, but I didn't like him. I don't know how it works at other colleges, but freshman year at my school you got paired with roommates - you didn't choose them, the school did. I found him annoying and weird and there were times when he was inconsiderate. But that's not why I'm so...whatever it is I'm feeling. Honestly, if I just hated the guy I would be feeling angry and/or jealous at this. I'd play some violent video games where I get to blow people's heads off and have a beer or two and be fine - something to let my stress and rage out.
But it's a little more complicated than that. I went to an art school - a school for art and design and people specializing in art and design. Now, to put this bluntly, he wasn't a good artist. Yeah, I feel kind of bad I'm putting down another person's work, but it really wasn't good. Like, it looked like stuff I was doing in middle school. I mean, I'm not the best artist in the world - I'll be the first to admit that - but my stuff and probably everyone else's work at said school was still leagues above his.
Anyway, if you're not turned off enough by me bashing someone's livelihood and personality, you've hopefully continued reading to this point and can still empathize and/or sympathize with my current emotional state. Like I said, I didn't like him, but if it was just that I think I'd be better. If he did work I thought was at least good (or decent) I'd probably just need awhile to adjust to this. Like, the new stuff on the site would still be good. I'd just dislike the creator. I can live with that.
But this...I don't know...like, it's not only that I dislike him, it's that I don't think he's good at what he does, and I think it'll affect the quality of the new stuff. The guys behind this site usually put out some great stuff - stuff I really like - and I thought this new stuff had some real potential. But now knowing who's going to make it, this seems like it'll be a black eye on the site. And I don’t think I’d being too paranoid when I say this. I say a brief promo for the new stuff and the art quality looked terrible. So you can see why I'm saddened by this.
But it's not so superficial as (if I can put it in my own words how I see it): someone I don't like is going to be doing something I'd love to do (work on a site I love and probably meet the creators) and his contribution is going to make the new content horrible. Although I think if it were just that anyone would be put off. I mean, I'm not angry by this. I think anger would fill me with some sort of energy. Not a good kind of energy, but something that gets me riled up.
I just feel kind of defeated. A little into my own life: I've yet to finish college. I'm on a leave due to my bill being not paid. Come the end of December will mark three semesters since I was back at my old college. I only have three more semesters to complete before I have enough credits to graduate. In the meantime, I'm taking classes at a local community college which I hate. I hate the classes, I hate the professors, I hate some of the students. Yeah, I know I’m being very negative and am bashing people/things again, but that’s honestly how I feel. If I can bash the place again and be “a little” pompous: I feel like I’m better than this school. I mean, the school and teachers frequently advertise transferring to other schools, so how good can it be? Kind of like you’re only there so you can get to somewhere better, but if I was already at somewhere better, what’s the point?
These are some of the worst teachers/classes I’ve had in my entire life. The art classes are so basic and elementary that classes I took freshman year of high school and probably even middle school were more advance. It’s almost driven me to the point of tears. On top of that, I hardly see or speak to my friends from college – the art college that is. Last time I saw any of them was probably around 13 months ago. I hardly if ever talk to them online. And don’t even mention my friends from high school – that’s a whole other complicated thing. I just feel alone and like my life has hit a major road block, and this just feel like the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’ve seen by status updates on Facebook that all my friends who graduated are finding work and moving on with their careers while I’m not. Am I saddened by this? Yeah, a little, but I feel some joy and pride they’re at least moving forward. Heck, I’d even be fine with my freshman roommate finding work, but for something I love so much and that I’d love to do. That just seems like a cruel joke.
Just a quick recap in case all the text (cause there’s a lot (sorry)) has left your brain a little sore and so I can stress what’s really making me blue:
-On financial leave from college
-Haven’t seen/talked to friends in ages
-Person I don’t like is doing things I wish I could be doing now
-Said person’s work I think isn’t very good and will make said new content bad
So, that’s about it. I don’t think I left anything out. Like the thread title says, I don’t know how I should feel about this. I think anger and a little envy would be natural (if not positive), but it’s more than that. I’m saddened by this. Like I said, it’s not so much my roommate working for this site – that’s really the breaking point. The straw the broke the camel’s back. If I could reuse the phrase “cruel joke” again. It’s everything else in addition to this. Seems almost like someone took over my life and is doing what I’d love to do while I watch from some sort of prison.
Am I terrible person for this? I know I’ve said some bad things in this post – I’ve bashed some people and some institutes. Am I not human for having opinions and dislikes, or am I being too harsh? Again, I’m not sure how to feel or what the right response is. I’m feeling a lot of things: sadness, depression, surprise, confusion, a little anger and jealousy. Just need some feedback and some advice from other people about this, the new stuff, my current state, whatever really.
Some clarity would be appreciated.
Gratefully thanking you for reading and responding to this,
Dr. Epic
I can grok this. As you say, jealously is a part of it, sure but what you're more worried about is this guy screwing up something that means a lot to you and being paid to do so.
It's easy to simulate - just imagine Rich had taken leave of all his senses (or had been on some really top notch pain meds) and hired your personal worst enemy to draw the strip, when you know he has the artistic talent of a watermelon.
Not good.
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Proof that avataring standards in the Playground have reached an all-time low:
I can grok this. As you say, jealously is a part of it, sure but what you're more worried about is this guy screwing up something that means a lot to you and being paid to do so.
It's easy to simulate - just imagine Rich had taken leave of all his senses (or had been on some really top notch pain meds) and hired your personal worst enemy to draw the strip, when you know he has the artistic talent of a watermelon.
Not good.
I wouldn't go that far. I dislike the guy, but I don't have a vendetta against him or wish him harm. I could easily name about 20 people I dislike more.
To answer: No you're not a bad person. If you were a bad person, you wouldn't care about thinking you're a bad person. It's striving to be a good person that makes a person a good person.
Don't worry about it. You probably just don't like his art while other people do. I mean... People spend millions on paintings by Picasso, but I hate them.
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To answer: No you're not a bad person. If you were a bad person, you wouldn't care about thinking you're a bad person. It's striving to be a good person that makes a person a good person.
Don't worry about it. You probably just don't like his art while other people do. I mean... People spend millions on paintings by Picasso, but I hate them.
Ditto. If you were a bad person, you wouldn't care about feling bad about it.
The fact tht you do, means you care about something enough to be concerned about a new approach. It would be like taking a movie directed by say Quentin Tarantino, hen halfway through replacing him with Hulk Hogan. You aren't sure what is going to happen, and you are concerned.
I think that's actually pretty normal.
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Co-Founding Member of LUTAS For all the less than useful superheroes out there.
Hugs and cake are available upon request. And when available.
Yeah, it's normal that you're unhappy for the reasons mentioned. Try and keep positive, perhaps you'll get an even better job, or be more happy with your wife and kids, or perhaps not but you are the focus of your life. Not some lucky hack
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Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kneenibble
What shall I say to thee, rakkoon, thou cruel,
Ingrateful, savage and inhuman creature,
That knewst the very bottom of my soul,
That almost mightst have coined me into gold
Wouldst thou have practiced on me for thy use?
Your current life and mine for the last three years sound VERY similar in feelings and such. Its perfectly natural and acceptable to critique someone else's work and hold them up to expectations and standards based on what the organization they represent. As for the friends thing, this is/was my life, though I've been improving those problems.
If you want to chat and have a lengthy or less so discussion, I'm available to PM, Skype (at a later time) or what not. I can certainly relate, and discuss ways to turn those blue (and perhaps a little green) feelings into a different color. Just to warn you now, however, I am in fact red/green colorblind so I'm not sure what color it could end up being!
You now understand why Pride and Envy are 2 of the "Deadly Sins". You could be happy for your old roomie, but the fact that you believe you're better than he is and wish you had his job robs you of the chance for joy.
It is not unusual for you to feel this way. I often feel the same. But that doesn't make it right.
Since you recognize it, you can work to fix it. I just wish I had a suggestion other than to focus on something you are good at and use that to distract you.
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"We are the people our parents warned us about!" - J.Buffett
Avatar by Tannhaeuser
Your current life and mine for the last three years sound VERY similar in feelings and such. Its perfectly natural and acceptable to critique someone else's work and hold them up to expectations and standards based on what the organization they represent. As for the friends thing, this is/was my life, though I've been improving those problems.
If you want to chat and have a lengthy or less so discussion, I'm available to PM, Skype (at a later time) or what not. I can certainly relate, and discuss ways to turn those blue (and perhaps a little green) feelings into a different color. Just to warn you now, however, I am in fact red/green colorblind so I'm not sure what color it could end up being!
Thanks. I might get in touch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elemental
Don't worry about it. You probably just don't like his art while other people do. I mean... People spend millions on paintings by Picasso, but I hate them.
No. It really is crude work. There's not liking a work because of personal preference and then there's just poor presentation. Just because something isn't your taste, you can still identify positives and flaws. Take Phineas and Ferb: I'm not a fan of the art style in terms of how they exaggerate anatomical features, but I can still say the show looks bright, colorful, and neat and clean looking. It's not my thing, but I understand why people like.
This, this is just bad. I've looked over that promo I talked about again and I keep finding new things wrong with it. It looks very slapdash, crude, and amateurish. It's hard to focus on the actual content and subject matter because the technical skill are so bad they're distracting.
It's rare for anyone's name to be unique. Are you sure it's even the same guy?
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Avatar by me. It's Incendius Darkscale, a Good Dragonborn Dragon Sorcerer, Demonskin Adept, Prince of Hell, worshiper of the Platinum Dragon (Bahamut), specializing in Fire and Lightning, wielding a staff in each hand.
It's rare for anyone's name to be unique. Are you sure it's even the same guy?
As sure as the sky is blue. Not only did the site give the name of my former roommate, but it gave a website to their work. I checked it out. It's them. There's a photo of my roommate on the second site I checked out. So unless there's two artists in the same field of art with the same name and that look exactly the same with a very similar style, it's him.
In other news, my mood went from bad to worse this evening.
Spoiler'd for length. Also, I'm just warning you now, I use a lot of sarcasm. I just want you to know I'm not usually this negative. I'm just in a really bad mood which was escalated from this situation and the language helps let out some stress. I'm not usually this much of a jerk. And maybe you'll even agree I'm not too out of line after reading what happened.
Spoiler
So I just get out of my Friday night class. It ended early so I'm waiting for my ride. Anyway, I make the foolish mistake of minding my own business and accidentally making eye contact with someone from my class. Anyway, that triggered them to walk over to me again minding my own business, ask me a very personal question which I'm not even sure why I answered. I should have told them to "Go **** off! That's none of your business!" But foolish me, I was being civil, kind, and considerate. I mean, this guy who I never met before and never exchange any dialogue with before had every right to ask me an extremely personal and private question and all because I made casual eye contact with him for about 2 seconds. Anyway, my response didn't agree with them so that led to them spending 5-10 minutes giving me a condescending, lecture about how I was wrong. Yeah, I was really asking for this: minding my own business and then out of nowhere having someone arrogantly telling me I was wrong.
I can't exactly go into the topic discussed because it's against forum rules to discuss this so you can imagine it's a pretty personal subject matter (and as a side note, if you think you do know what it is, please don't mention it. It's against forum rules to talk about. I feel even mentioning might derail this thread and I don't want to get this locked. This thread is a healthy means for me to let off some stress. I'm being as vague as possible when referring to this. Really, the topic could be anything: favorite movie, television show, novel, whatever. I'd still be just as mad if someone came out of nowhere, asked me something, and proceed to talk down to me and tell me I was wrong.)
Anyway, you can see why I'm in a bad mood. After learning about the website and my current state for the past year, this was just a totally uncalled for attack on me. Seriously, this guy had no business approaching me and proceeding to ask this question and then talk down to me. The only motive I can think of this guy had is "I'm feeling like a smug jerk! Better ask someone I never talked to before and don't even know their name a completely personal and inappropriate question and then if I disagree with it, I'll talk down to them and tell them they're wrong because I'm feeling self-conscious and I need an ego bust so putting a total stranger down is totally the best and healthy thing to do!"
This guy just annoyed me beyond what I thought was possible. I was in no mood for this. If the news I found out about the website was the straw that broke the camel's back, then this was setting the camel on fire and hurling whatever was alive off a cliff. Again, I have to ask, am I being irrational? I'm trying to be calm and not fly off the handle (hard to believe after all the sarcasm in the past few paragraphs) too much. I know I'm in a very poor mental state and am looking for serenity.
After class, naturally I needed to relax. I opened a bottle of wine and had a few glasses. Again, something I don't think is too out of line. I only had two, the last time I had any alcohol was nearly two weeks ago so I think it's safe to say I don't have a dependence on the substance, and I'm 22 years old so me drinking isn't a crime.
That's about it. Nothing more I can say. Guy really got me in a bad mood. Normally I'd probably just shrug it off, but given everything else...yeah. Nobody has to respond to this. Just getting it all out makes me feel better.
In regard to the guy getting the job with the website: He must have done something to impress the site owners to get the job, which suggests he has more talent than you give him credit for having. If the projects he is attached to are terrible and are consistently terrible, he probably won't have a job with them for long. In the mean time, avoid his projects and continue with your enjoyment of the sites other entertainment offerings.
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Spoiler
Awesome Flash avatar by kpenguin The Ghost Rider The Puny-sher
Gratefully thanking you for reading and responding to this,
Dr. Epic
It sounds like what you're saying is essentially that nothing seems to be going right; you've backslid in your academic career which has delayed your professional career, and all of the people around you are moving ahead of you--even the people who are legitimately less competent, you're having financial troubles and no matter what you do it just seems like you're fighting the current, and on top of all of this you feel isolated. It's not even that this guy you don't like is doing something you would love; that would aggravate you normally but you'd be done like you said after a Dooty or Halo match; but his situation--an incompetent fool in a good position--is emblematic of everything that's wrong with your life and by extension wrong with the world right now. Because after all, you're competent but you're not in a good way.
Is that about right? Or have I misunderstood?
Spoiler
Spoilered for sparing others. I think I know kind of how you feel though.
I did the dumb thing and got married straight out of high school. In the interest of brevity and relevance, he wasn't loyal; after much pleading I relented and gave him another chance. We were together another year, and I caught him doing it again with the same woman in our bed. At least before he'd had the decency to rent a hotel room.
Long story short here I am now at 25 basically restarting everything but my job and my age; friends dropped off the map, sold the house I couldn't pay for at a loss, most of my family won't talk to me because I'm an evil harlot for divorcing, and I'm in a city where I know barely anybody. I've got a job and a house (that I CAN pay for), and that's about it.
I'm also in the awkward position of having to babysit my boss every time he walks into my lab to make sure he doesn't kill himself because apparently "This toxic stuff we're working on that can dissolve concrete is dangerous" is a concept just slightly out of his grasp. I don't even hold the slightest hope for teaching the drooling invalid "don't **** with my equipment while it's running", but this idiot just got a 12% raise. Twelve percent. Twelve. Neither myself nor any of my chemists has gotten even a cost of living increase in two years, and this guy would hang himself by mistake if you just left him in a room with a shoe string. It almost feels like it's not even worth it sometimes.
But realistically, just being alive puts us in a much better position to become happy and productive than, say, if we weren't alive. Rain brings flowers, and hardship brings wisdom; the insight we gain from experiencing tough times is invaluable in making good choices in the future, choices that we may otherwise not have considered if we hadn't experienced those rough patches, and maybe more importantly lets us pass that wisdom on to our kids or anybody else who might listen. I certainly wouldn't say "I'm grateful for my ex" but I can't change the past; all I can do is learn from it so I can put my future on track for what I want it to be. The world is just as wonderful and beautiful as you want it to be even in the blackest times. Crying doesn't make you weak, frustration doesn't make you bad, and most importantly depression doesn't take away your power.
Obviously words alone won't fix the problem. I wish I could offer more than that, but like Wombat I'm glad to talk or just listen if you want, and offer advice if I can. Well, provided I'm not asleep or at work; the house and food won't pay for themselves and sleep has that unfortunate side effect of unconsciousness Honestly though, if there's anything I can do or if you'd like to talk, don't even hesitate.
Re: Community college being basics, easy, a stepping stone to other places. Uh, yeah, that's what community colleges are for. Getting credits under the belt so you don't have to pay a fancy school to get the basics. None of their design and art classes are going to challenge you, so take some history or something for the credits.
Re: everything else, yeah, other people said it. You're jealous, it's natural and fine, you're not a bad person.
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bees
You, too, could have a trophy case this intense! Participate in Iron Avatarist! Do it, or I'll start sending you drunken PMs.
Spoiler
I am not brave enough to say something outrageous and be serious. You'll be happier if you assume I'm joking.
Stoats legit King Arthur by The Succubus.
Doc, I haven't seen any of this guy's work, but... I have seen some of yours. I know your sig banner is by Grlump, but that would honestly be the best work I've ever seen you do because the scenery in it looks pretty good. But your work... is either minimalistic cartoons, or drawings that don't exactly meet the request. I could barely look at that succubus picture of yours. I don't know, maybe if you made detailed scenery or something.
Dude, not the place for that. Really, really, not the place. Seriously.
Anyway Dr. Epic, it seems to me that your problem is that things aren't really going your way in general, which makes the ex-roommate thing hurt worse. I've not been in exactly your situation, but feeling that you're too good for your school is a feeling I can sympathize with, as are educational setbacks in general. My advice is to keep in mind that you're still in school, ergo still making progress towards your end goal. Even if it isn't the school you want, or the progress you want, it's still forwards momentum.
The other, probably harder, thing to do is to take those feelings of superiority, and smash them. They feel good in a vindictive little way at the moment - and are oh so easy to make a habit I know - but long term mostly just hurt. It took me two years to squash these feelings in myself during college, and learning to drop the shell and engage was one of the better lessons learned in college, and the only saving grace of an otherwise wretched senior year.
The year after that I spent working in a restaurant with, well, the sorts of people who work in restaurants. It was actually a lot of fun, but had I acted like I did in college it would have been completely unbearable.
__________________ EvilElitest's Blog. His stuff, my stuff as well. Currently a diary of me playing ArmA: Armed Assault. Give it a read whether you know what I'm talking about or not.
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ditto
That being said, I'm perfectly okay with WG being the ultimate winner of this thread. He's earned it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowanomicon
We needed the ultimate funny, and it was delivered.
Sauron vs Voldemort, you say?
Easy: WG wins.
You said he has to deal with his feelings of superiority. How is an honest assessment of his art's actual quality not in line with this?
Because the way to deal with feelings of superiority isn't to replace them with feelings of inferiority. And that's what you get in my experience when you start dumping criticism on somebody who's already feeling down.
Getting over feeling superior to other people doesn't mean thinking you are worse then them, or ignoring the fact that you may have talents that they don't. It's accepting though they may not do X as well as you, they aren't worse than you or unworthy of your notice and interest because of that. They're people, you're people, it's all about even in the end.
__________________ EvilElitest's Blog. His stuff, my stuff as well. Currently a diary of me playing ArmA: Armed Assault. Give it a read whether you know what I'm talking about or not.
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ditto
That being said, I'm perfectly okay with WG being the ultimate winner of this thread. He's earned it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowanomicon
We needed the ultimate funny, and it was delivered.
Sauron vs Voldemort, you say?
Easy: WG wins.
So.... I'm really bad at cheering up people I don't know. I'll give it a shot though.
Spoiler
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff
ba dum tssh
What's Mary short for?
She has no legs.
A cat walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender notes how ridiculous this is, because cats can not speak,nor are their thought processes complex enough to do even something as simple as ordering a drink at a bar. The bartender wakes up and realizes it was all a dream. Grateful to be returned to a world that makes sense, he rolls over and tells his wife, but she does not share his enthusiasm. Indeed, their 26-year marriage has begun to sour as of late. The bartender cries.
Doctor! Doctor! I've swallowed a roll of film!
Let's hope nothing develops.
What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburned penguin, a sunburned zebra, a sunburned bengal tiger, any of the afformentioned animals which have diaper rash, are in a blender, or bleeding.
Or a newspaper.
If you're feeling irrationally better, despite every law of nature that says you should want to strangle me for telling such god-awful jokes, then I've done my job.
Also, fusnuggle that guy. Seriously. Mothersnuggler.
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A Campaign Setting more than a year in the making, Patria!
In regard to the guy getting the job with the website: He must have done something to impress the site owners to get the job, which suggests he has more talent than you give him credit for having.
I don’t want to continuously dwell on tearing apart someone’s art (despite the fact I already did that several times in this thread), but the guy who was supposed to do this had to drop out so maybe it was a last minute, emergency, get whoever is available immediately kind of thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mauve Shirt
Re: Community college being basics, easy, a stepping stone to other places. Uh, yeah, that's what community colleges are for.
Yeah, I know that. It’s like walking into some truck stop in the middle of nowhere and complaining about their food. Well did you really expect it taste good? It still doesn’t change the my situation or how I feel.
Quote:
Getting credits under the belt so you don't have to pay a fancy school to get the basics. None of their design and art classes are going to challenge.
It’s not just the art classes. It’s half the professors in general. Most of them seem incompetent. The worst professor I had at my first college was way better than any of the professor at community college.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wyntonian
So.... I'm really bad at cheering up people I don't know. I'll give it a shot though.
Thanks. The gesture alone helps.
Quote:
Originally Posted by warty goblin
The other, probably harder, thing to do is to take those feelings of superiority, and smash them. They feel good in a vindictive little way at the moment - and are oh so easy to make a habit I know - but long term mostly just hurt. It took me two years to squash these feelings in myself during college, and learning to drop the shell and engage was one of the better lessons learned in college, and the only saving grace of an otherwise wretched senior year.
Quote:
Originally Posted by warty goblin
Getting over feeling superior to other people doesn't mean thinking you are worse then them, or ignoring the fact that you may have talents that they don't. It's accepting though they may not do X as well as you, they aren't worse than you or unworthy of your notice and interest because of that. They're people, you're people, it's all about even in the end.
Dropping the superiority act I don't think would be that difficult for me. If you're trying to suggest socializing with people at community college, I think that'd be the bigger challenge. Honestly, I'm just not up to it now. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't feelings of superiority, but it's not completely that. Considering my lack of contract from previous friends, I'm feeling kind of turned of to socializing. Not to mention I've always suffer social anxiety my whole life.
Obviously words alone won't fix the problem. I wish I could offer more than that, but like Wombat I'm glad to talk or just listen if you want, and offer advice if I can. Well, provided I'm not asleep or at work; the house and food won't pay for themselves and sleep has that unfortunate side effect of unconsciousness Honestly though, if there's anything I can do or if you'd like to talk, don't even hesitate.
Wow. I thought I had it rough. I mean, my situation kind of pales to that of a ruined marriage as well as everything else you listed. Really sorry to hear that.
Oh, and also I might take you up on that offer to talk.
Something that's been bugging me for awhile: two old friends from college; I kind of have to go into the backstory so you can understand the current emotional climate. So basically these two friends, when I met them, they were each part of different social cliques. I became pretty close to each, but it wasn't until like a year or so after I met them that they started hanging out. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've sort of figured I was the reason they met. I could be wrong. There was also this club they both joined, but like I said, they didn't start hanging out until after a year or so after I met them.
Anyway, they're really close. I read that on Facebook, the two of them collaborating about projects and what not. I'm probably just being paranoid and this is just due to the depression of my current state, but I feel left out. I was even roommates with one of them, and I would have been roommates with both if again I didn't hit financial problems. Just the fact I've never felt that close to either of them and I've know both of them longer; we've never talked about collaborations or anything like that. Again, probably just my current state and this is just a little bit jealousy; this situation I have the rationale on. The two of them both still live in the same city, and I unfortunately had to leave - it's just convenient for them. And I'm not mad at them or anything. Just my situation again and everyone else communicating, and collaborating, and moving forward. Again, no harsh feelings to them. It just makes me feel worse. And again, I'm only writing this because letting it out relieves the stress.
Something else that I've been thinking about do for awhile is trying to get in contact with my old friends from high school. I mentioned earlier that it's this whole other complicated thing with them, but still, the way I see it, I'd rather talk to people I know than make new friends. In terms of what happened, well, it basically I lost touch with them during sophomore year of college. But even before that, I've never felt too close to them. We shared interests, but I always felt like the odd man out. I can't get into too many details because it'd be a lot to type, but I'll try to surmise it all. Really, I hung out with them at school, but I never really saw them outside. Out of all of them, I've only ever been to one of their houses. And I had to wait to senior year for that. And to give you perspective, I started hanging out with them midway through freshman year of high school. In fact, one time, when one of them asked to the entire group if they wanted to see a movie over the weekend and I said yes, he told me no. To be (let's say) fair all of them did live over and hour away from me so distance may have been a factor, but still, like I said.
And in terms of senior year when I did start to hang out with them outside of school, half our clique was a year older than the other half - I was the year younger as was this friend. So came our senior year of high school half our group was gone and (maybe this is paranoia) but I've always felt the reason I was invited over now was because he was more desperate for people to hang out with and it was basically me or almost nothing.
There was one friend from our group I felt close to. I've been debating friending him on Facebook for awhile. We mostly bonded over Homestar Runner, and given the site hasn't updated in like years, I wonder if we'd even had anything to talk about. In high school, we actually did collaborate on some projects...well, not really collaborate, but he did enjoy a lot of the work I made. I kind of feel that talking to him again might re-energize me to create some stuff. But then again, it has been a few years and I'm not even sure he'd be interested in talking to me.
I'm still living at home, and my mom's been talking to me about trying to contact my friends from high school. I don't know. You think I should try it, or am I just wasting my time. I honestly feel like they don't want to talk to me, and I don't want to harass them if they don't want to speak to me. But then again, no harm in trying right: they say no or don't respond to me and I never try it again.
I'd say give it a shot. If it doesn't work out, well at least you tried. IF you don't you potentially miss out on an opportunity, or worse, wonder if you should have. I know with me, I never got the opportunity to do so, because all mine moved away and left me to live at my parents with NO one around, so I'm certainly rooting for you. I know its hard to reach out to people who've been distant for awhile, but you might meet freinds of theirs who could lead to better friendships too.
I'd say give it a shot. If it doesn't work out, well at least you tried. IF you don't you potentially miss out on an opportunity, or worse, wonder if you should have. I know with me, I never got the opportunity to do so, because all mine moved away and left me to live at my parents with NO one around, so I'm certainly rooting for you. I know its hard to reach out to people who've been distant for awhile, but you might meet freinds of theirs who could lead to better friendships too.
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I honestly don't know how I feel about this
Re: I honestly don't know how I feel about this
Yeah, I was really asking for this: minding my own business and then out of nowhere having someone arrogantly telling me I was wrong.
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The Ghost Rider 
The Puny-sher
Honestly though, if there's anything I can do or if you'd like to talk, don't even hesitate.
