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  1. - Top - End - #1
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    Default The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Yes. It's it. The dreaded T-word. The bane of all awesome vampires and supernatural creatues. Sparkles, impossible teenagers, hated to hell and back, meanwhile inciting internet wars between fans over one potential partner for the protagonist or another.

    So, what am I going on about? Well, it's the phenomenon, see? And a healthy dose of alcohol (don't drink if it's not legal for you to do so, and be careful about it). So after all the fuss had died down for some time and I picked up this habit with my borhter of watching bad movies (or ones perceived as such) which are uncomplicated and easy enough to criticize while enjoying a tasty meal while laughing and drinking.

    Along came the dreaded moment. One moment or antoher if you watch bad movies you are going to encounter Twilight. And my fascination with the phenomenon rose again. So, before I actully get to the core of my point (discussing the movies), ill back up to the first moment I had contact with the work it referenced.

    So here I was waiting at my local fiction library/dnd club. And this girl who is not of the mindless girl sort (so no generalizing) likes the book so much she is actually willing to do all the work for my reading it to me... We are interrupted by my mates coming in for a session of DnD, but still her devotion to the franchise is staggering. Which makes me think, if a piece of film and/or book can incite such loyalty, devotion and general craze, something about it must be good, right? Right?

    So...

    In the light of recent 'Let's watch..." threads I will make a short one about the franchise and having seen the films allready will make for a spoilerless environment (except for expectations ), and a quick thread. Not too quick however, so here are the rules:

    • I will watch all the movies seen them allready, though will revisit to keep scores, and to check
    • I will post a review a week (films are longer then series episodes), starting sunday
    • I will not read spoilers lableed for a certain movie until I have reviewed it
    • I will do my best being as witty as Saph or Morph Bark. No guarantees though
    • I will grade along a 10 point scale
    • I will include some thoughts on characters, scenes and I will include the abs count


    For those that don't know, I currently am working/studying in the world of marketing, so to judge how a movie for girls will answer to the needs of the audience I will keep an abs score in which a character is seen withough shirt for no real apparent reason or is cinematographically showing off...

    For you the rules will be: spoiler things about expecting me to like something. I don't want to be influenced. Forum rules apply. Be nice to eachother. And for the love of sanity, NO DECLARING TEAMS!

    Now go forth my minionsfellow forumites and let the speculation begin! *waves arms dramatically*

    Edit: to give some idea of how I grade: Underworld (1, 2 and 3) gets a 9/10, Blade a 7/10,, blade 2 an 8/10 and blade 3 a 5/10 Warm Bodies a 0/10 (it was horrible). I love action, hate the combination between romance and comedy and think romance/drama is overrated, unless done in a sensible way (4 weddings and a funeral)

    Twilight
    New Moon
    Eclipse
    Last edited by Socratov; 2013-12-15 at 12:34 PM.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    I'd have forgiven Twilight everything...okay, maybe not everything, but a lot, if it'd got my little sister to read.

    It didn't.

    I still maintain that a soul can't live on The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People alone.

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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Axiomatic View Post
    I'd have forgiven Twilight everything...okay, maybe not everything, but a lot, if it'd got my little sister to read.

    It didn't.
    sorry to hear that, though i must say that some people just don't like reading

    I still maintain that a soul can't live on The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People alone.
    no, they don't, they at least need to read the Art of War and The Prince

    Look at us here, discussing classical books in a Twilight thread
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quite interesting. I heard that the films were not abysmal as they went on. I only saw the first, which fell into an uncomfortable "not awful enough to riff, but not great" territory. (There were actually some moments I really liked, and thought there should be more of. Hint: not the romance scenes.)
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    Unless everyone's been lying to me and the next bunch of episodes are The Great Divide II, The Great Divide III, Return to the Great Divide, and Bride of the Great Divide, in which case I hate you all and I'm never touching Avatar again.

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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Well, the films don't have Meyer's awful prose to drown in, so they couldn't really be nearly as awful as the books. Also, the film industry is in the doldrums with this demographic to a certain degree anyway. It's not like Twilight is worse than say, the 2011 Red Riding Hood. Or 50 shades of gray.

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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Socratov View Post
    sorry to hear that, though i must say that some people just don't like reading
    It's rarely as simple as that, though. Not enjoying reading at one age cannot be extrapolated upon the whole lifespan. Though frankly, most people I've had tell me they don't enjoy reading will do a 180 really fast if they happen upon a book that hits a chord for them.

    Hell, I'm one of those people; I didn't read at all until the age of 13 or so wondering why good stories about might and magic don't exist and why all the book titles sounded so lame, and then I happened to actually start reading The Lord of the Rings after my mother repeatedly recommended it to me (turns out the title only tells so much). After that I read at least a dozen books of fiction a year. The same has happened to many people in one way or another in my circle of friends and extended family. This might just be a case of "give it few years", for instance.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    OK, here it comes.



    Twilight

    OK, first off, phoenix arizona, and you have that pale skintone? yep, really believable.

    So, i guess the whole not-so-strong-on-emotions thing you got from your dad huh? No seriously, he's like a teenage girl, but with a moustache in his reluctancy to communicate.

    Well, Forks is just the pinnacle of depression. Even the weather does it's part.

    Aaaand, in comes blandyfangs...

    lab partners [sarcasm]well, nobody saw this coming[/sarcasm]

    So, he has a facial expression besides the scowl? Interesting.

    smalltalk! *GASP* Sooooo... twuuuu wuv!

    Major heroic moment! Edward uses intense stare! *It's super effective!* *critical hit*

    oh, that's creepy. You stand in a girl's room and make her think it was a dream?

    I like this asian friend of hers. He's actually believable... Actually all her non Cullen friends are. Moreso then Bella and Edward.

    2nd heroic moment! To the edward mobile! Hmmm... volvo c30, so immortals are now... practical and sensible? No wait, no seatbelt. Sooo hardcore!

    Special diet you're on, hrm?

    oooh, tough questions, "are you following me? How did you know where I was?" *Edward uses telekinesis*

    I've got this feeling like Cullen Sr. is smart. Like Iroh from AtlA. Likable, sensible, subtle, and probably a major badass.

    Ah, pieces of the puzzle falling together.

    Ah, the famous fragment. stating attributes, "tell me what I am", yadda, yadda. So, cold, sparkly, does not eat, supernatural powers, lives in the woods, pale, sparkles. Obviously Edward must be an unseely fey. Oh damn. It was the other white meat.

    Abs! counter to 1

    Cue angsty vampire. Pathetic.

    You know, Bella is a teenage girl So I forgive her for her underdeveloped common sense, but damn! You can't be this dense can you?

    Aaaand you prove me wrong...

    Yeah, Edward, you're not much better. I expect more from an eternal 17 y/o.

    Wow! Such wuv. So match. Very passion.

    So... wait, if you don't sparkle, it means there is no sun. No sun means no sunglasses neccessary. So Edward is wearing them for teh coolz? Lame!

    Yeah girl, you totally have your priorities straight... Like totally and completely...

    Stare-off! Native americans don't like pale persons much... Does that mean they don't like Irish as well? (sorry, couldn't resist the opportunity, no offense meant to the Irish)

    Is there something wrong with people's diaphragms? All they do is sigh and breathe awkwardly...

    Aha, it seems social awkwardness transcends the border of life and (un)death.

    I like this alice girl. She's quirky and fun.

    Gheh, newest vegetarian. Something tells me he's contemplating a comeback really hard. Also the reaction of the mother. It's almost like greeting the turkey at Thanksgiving (you yanks still eat turkey for thanksgiving, right?)

    Spider-Edward, Spider-Edward, does whatever Spider-Edward, does... (you know the rest of the tune, I'm sure)

    Dude! Creepy! Watching her while she sleeps? Seriously, this is not how normal couples do this...

    Sooo. This is... Like vampiric abstinence? Flying off into the wall? OK... Cue cuddeling.

    Lawyered! He indeed doesn't live in town. Just the woods. *shotgun click*. Dad of Bella, I'm starting to like your style.

    Superpowered baseball. Stand-off! Jamaican guy I like. He's sensible. Blondieboy is a bit too much obsessed. He's staring like a teenager to a supermodel in underwear.

    Ooh! action!

    "I'll explain everything later" No you won't. Hostage situation. And you going to the ballet studio without taking your super strong vampire friends? Yep, real common sense girl. Ooh, clever. Using video... Edward saving the day, and then Carlyle saving Edward. Blood flowing, chaos ensuing. And all is well that ends well. Oh, and blondieboy is going to be unable to tell this tale...

    Kumbayaa, my Lord, kumbayaa!

    Awww, edwards is told to stop. he looks like a kicked puppy.

    *sad music*

    Hospital. Believable story. Angsty hero. Check, check, and double check. BSOD for Bella.

    So, no teenager movie is complete without a High School dance. Romance, bad girl showing.

    Aaaaaaaaand credits!

    So, that's the first people! First off, I like the special effects. Really polished. The acting, however, is disappointing. I get more emotion from my brother after he has woken up. The amount emotion in the movie is at an all time low (ok, not so low like in warm bodies, but you get the point). No investment in characters. lots of depressive scowling like life is not supposed to be fun. no enjoyment. It's quite wierd that the characters that are acted best are the side characters. They are believable, show some emotion and so on. The fact that the main characters don't is a bit disappointing

    Then there is the story. I mean, come! On! I get that danger is attractive, but this level of stupidy I won't believe. Yes, let's hang around with the predator, becuase prey and predator have such great realtionships. And being a **** is totally being boyfriend material. The story is really breaking hte suspension of disbelief. Also the stupid things people do in this movie. I mean, in his lucid moments, even Steve-O has more common sense.

    The music is good though.

    I will give this, on account of acting and story, a 4/10. The special effects and music really helped this grade up.

    So, next sunday I will move on to new moon. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask, if you disagree with me, don't hesitate to state your opinion (bear in mind that this is my opinion and not fact). And please spoiler your predictions for next sunday.
    Last edited by Socratov; 2013-12-01 at 11:43 AM. Reason: formatting didn;t work out that well
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    I wish you further luck on this endeavor. This whole setup feels like a FATAL Let's Play, which has been known to shatter a person's humanity.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Heh. Y'know, I actually liked it when Edward started explaining to Bella just how bad his blood-craving was. Naturally, "I'm a heroin addict...but with blood" didn't faze her one bit. Common Sense Meter lowering...

    And the bit with the vampires at the end, ripping into one another and whatnot--I liked that.
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    Unless everyone's been lying to me and the next bunch of episodes are The Great Divide II, The Great Divide III, Return to the Great Divide, and Bride of the Great Divide, in which case I hate you all and I'm never touching Avatar again.

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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    I can't look at the word twilight without thinking of, well, Twilight.
    Damn you, it was a perfectly good word, and it ruins it, ruins it forever!
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by MCerberus View Post
    I wish you further luck on this endeavor. This whole setup feels like a FATAL Let's Play, which has been known to shatter a person's humanity.
    It's only 5 weeks. I think I can manage
    Quote Originally Posted by CarpeGuitarrem View Post
    Heh. Y'know, I actually liked it when Edward started explaining to Bella just how bad his blood-craving was. Naturally, "I'm a heroin addict...but with blood" didn't faze her one bit. Common Sense Meter lowering...

    And the bit with the vampires at the end, ripping into one another and whatnot--I liked that.
    well, yeah, that was lots of special effects, and the guy is good. Really good. I mean, if hte movie was just 50% of such action it might have moved into 6/10 territory, but it didn't so it's stuck in 4/10. Yeah, and the whole commonsense thing really destroyed my suspension of disbelief. I mean, I get it, teenagers are stupid, but not THAT stupid. Seriously.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    I can't look at the word twilight without thinking of, well, Twilight.
    Damn you, it was a perfectly good word, and it ruins it, ruins it forever!
    forever is a big word, it will wear off in a couple years, like some silly dream of the past.
    Last edited by Socratov; 2013-12-01 at 11:52 AM.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Just wait until the next movie, where he
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    destroys her car so she can't visit the friends he disapproves of and, one hundred percent literally, locks her in his house over the weekend because he'll be out of town.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Legato Endless View Post
    Well, the films don't have Meyer's awful prose to drown in, so they couldn't really be nearly as awful as the books. Also, the film industry is in the doldrums with this demographic to a certain degree anyway. It's not like Twilight is worse than say, the 2011 Red Riding Hood. Or 50 shades of gray.
    Both of those are the spawn of Twilight, as I recall.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axiomatic View Post
    I'd have forgiven Twilight everything...okay, maybe not everything, but a lot, if it'd got my little sister to read.

    It didn't.


    I still maintain that a soul can't live on The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People alone.
    I'm sorry to hear that. As are the Romance Writers of America. Maybe try beating her with The Hunger Games and/or Harry Potter?


    Indeed. Kind of confusing that one would think they could, really.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by SowZ View Post
    Just wait until the next movie, where he
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    destroys her car so she can't visit the friends he disapproves of and, one hundred percent literally, locks her in his house over the weekend because he'll be out of town.
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    But it's because he cares. That makes it ok, right?


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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    I have a good explanation for the "Twilight phenomenon", I used it to explain to a friend of mine why there is a teen angel genre of romance, once...

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    teen angel genre? never heard of it. sounds completely stupid. I mean first of all, teen angels is an oxymoron. because teens are physically incapable of being angels, therefore angels are physically incapable of being teens, this therefore means that angels go from childhood to adulthood in a complete instant.
    therefore I can only theorize that "teen angel" genre is the latest in a long line of "knight in shining armor" stories of our world. the vampire romance, medieval tales of a knight rescuing a princess, hypothetical werewolf romances, cowboy romances, and whatever other romance of that nature- they are all one story.

    why? because think of the medieval times where you'd rarely see a knight at all! Sure the actual knights aren't all that hot, but would a peasant girl know that? nope. they are all uneducated and wouldn't even see a knight, maybe not even once in their life. Therefore, since they are such distant figures, they are easy to idealize and romanticize, and the life of a princess, even easier to romanticize and idealize- your surroundings are trash. knights and princesses are awesome in comparison to brutish life of a peasant, even if the actual life of those doesn't live up to the ideal.

    therefore the knight becomes a distant figure, a figure of strength, of the good life, of one who takes action and does great things for the one they love and all that jazz. and fantasy becomes one of that strong active person come to whisk that lowly peasant girl to that good life! to one of wealth, opulence, luxury, so and so forth.

    now, let us go through the ages- the knight fades out, and soon- at least in the wild west US- it is replaced by….the cowboy. or in europe, the explorer, the gentlemen adventurer, the men not afraid to go out into the world, explore exotic places, and bring back the treasures from those places, the cowboy being a particularly rough-and-tumble version of this, going out into the west to get gold, fight bandits, romance a few ladies. its the same romantic knight in shining armor archetype- but shifted. its no longer about castles and saving the princess from dragons.
    now the man, is one who takes the girl off to exotic places, builds a colony there, gives her exotic trinkets and whatnot, braves tombs and other such dangers, the good life now being idealized as one on the frontier, amongst nature, pioneering the wilderness, expanding civilization….the figure is still distant, strong, idealized and active, but shifted to victorian idealizations, the idealizing of the frontier, of the colony life amongst nature compared to the rapidly industrializing europe, filling the air with smog, pollution, horrid machines and bad working conditions….being poor in europe during the victorian era is not a good place to live. no wonder they idealized the distant, seemingly pastoral frontier.

    then we start to shift into the last century. What new image is the knight in shining armor in the 20th century? why, the soldier! a man who has seen combat, who is experienced in hardship, is disciplined, and comes back from a horrible horrible war, surely this returning man, riddled with horrors of such times, can be healed by the love of a woman? surely, this strong soldier man, who has seen far worse in his time, can be the kind of strong husband a good woman desires?
    the figure- distant in a way, on the battlefield, but also with the prospect of returning stronger, wiser, more experienced in life, and he is sooo romantic because he is willing to fight for you by going to distant shores to lay his life down for you! surely when he gets back, he will provide you with a good life.

    and then, finally we get to the 21st century. the knight, has long been exposed as just another snotty noble, the explorer a racist grave-robbing thief, the cowboy a mere uncouth ruffian, the soldier a shell-shocked veteran whose trauma and military social skills being vastly different from normal social skills, all of these idealized men, exposed as the broken things they are.

    so what is left? what distant thing is left to idealize and romanticize? why, vampires! werewolves! angels! stuff like that. these kinds of beings are as distant as you can get. they aren't even real! you can make up anything about them! they are as strong as you want, as active as you want, provide you with the good life that you fantasize about, and are as good in bed as you want them to be. everything a foolish romantic girl could ever desire. thats why you get Twilight. the girl in question makes the vampire sparkly, super-strong, sexy, active, but distant and mysterious, as well as making sure that he can provide Bella with the good life- by biting her, thus making her a sparkly vampire too.

    therefore, we can deduce this simple equation:

    Foolish Romantic girl + distance + strength + activity + good life + mysteriousness = knight in shining armor.

    I shall call it….Knight In Shining Armor Romance Equation.

    or, the K.I.S.A.R. Equation


    now you know.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Axiomatic View Post
    I'd have forgiven Twilight everything...okay, maybe not everything, but a lot, if it'd got my little sister to read.

    It didn't.

    I still maintain that a soul can't live on The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People alone.
    The burgeoning number of shelves of "Teen Paranormal Romance" at my local Barnes & Noble suggest that regardless of your personal experience they have indeed spurred a considerable amount of pop-literature interest.

    Unless all those books are loosing money and going to evaporate soon.

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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Soras Teva Gee View Post
    The burgeoning number of shelves of "Teen Paranormal Romance" at my local Barnes & Noble suggest that regardless of your personal experience they have indeed spurred a considerable amount of pop-literature interest.

    Unless all those books are loosing money and going to evaporate soon.
    A lot of those books are losing money, actually, and only the most successful ones truly capitalized on the Twilight phenomenon in any real way. You see it all the time. Twilight comes out, every publisher and their mum picks up some paranormal romance to cash in and one or two Twilight clones will go fairly big but most of them suck even worse than the trend starter and don't even pay off their advance. So now you are just one lousy, unprofitable book next to ten dozen others just like it so a few years in and publishers aren't even entertaining the thought of buying another frikkin' paranormal romance and will tell every agent who queries that the market is saturated, please go away.

    Sometimes it isn't just one book that does it, but a few in a row from the same genre and then one gets a really good movie deal and the same boom-bust cycle happens. Dystopian fiction is a perfect example with Hunger Games and Pretties and such. I'm frankly surprised Divergent was able to get as good a deal as it got in the current market.
    Last edited by SowZ; 2013-12-01 at 03:14 PM.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Socratov View Post
    forever is a big word, it will wear off in a couple years, like some silly dream of the past.
    Well, long enough anywho.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Socratov View Post

    OK, first off, phoenix arizona, and you have that pale skintone? yep, really believable.
    Not only is it believable but it's standard. She's no paler than a typical person from the Valley of the Sun. I should know. I live here. People don't go outside. So there's not a lot of tanning going around. It's a very indoor culture out here.
    Last edited by Tebryn; 2013-12-01 at 04:53 PM.

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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Tebryn View Post
    Not only is it believable but it's standard. She's no paler than a typical person from the Valley of the Sun. I should know. I live here. People don't go outside. So there's not a lot of tanning going around. It's a very indoor culture out here.
    Interesting, didn't know that. Go figure

    Though I must say, there is pale, and there is whiter then a bedsheet You can at least expect her to have a healhy skin tone
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Socratov View Post
    Interesting, didn't know that. Go figure

    Though I must say, there is pale, and there is whiter then a bedsheet You can at least expect her to have a healhy skin tone
    No argument there.

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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Welcome ladies and gentlemen to my thoughts on the second movie. Just for some background information for those that don't know, I usually work saterday nights, so this is kind of wake-up thingie for me. Luckily the complexity of Twilight allows me to do this while my brain is starting up To have more fun, read anything between asteriks in a booming announcer voice like in LoL or UT2K.

    New Moon!


    Oooh! dramatic monologue opening!

    Red hoods! OOOh! the symbolism! That's sooooo deeeeep!

    Mysterious encounter with older self, and it was all a dream. Wow, Stephanie really pulled out the tropes section eh?

    You know, I think I have never seen a teen react in such a way to receiving a camera for her birthday. No hugging your parents? No extensive thanking? Well, at least she showed a tiny smile. It's something I guess... *shrugs*

    You know, Stephanie, it's not subtle. If you want to show that Edward alienates her from her high school friends, you can be subtler then having the high schoolers say something like: there are the cullens, bye!

    Enter the Jacob.

    He's been working out, or his wolfie genes are finally taking hold. It's like growing a beard though...

    Wait a minute... You are a controlling son of a b, really creepy in not respecting her boundaries (like watching her while she sleeps) by not giving a F, and the one time it's ok to not respect her boundary you suddenly comply? *Your revieuwer application has encountered a fatal error. Please stand by while we restart your system. If the problem persists, please contact your system administrator*

    ok, ok, I'm back... no worries, I just needed to reboot...

    Ah, Alice in the house. You know, I'd like to haver her talent, if only for trying to find gifts to give. It would make things so much simpler for birthdays and christmasses... Oh, and yes, this is how it's done. Spontaneous, nice, and harmless. No watching her sleep Edward! that's really creepy!

    So, recap of previous attempts. Edward showing off... So womantic!

    So, birthday party? dinner? thing? Hope it goes better then last time hurr-hurr (I would like to see some action by now)

    OK, this had me lauging: a vampire telling Bella she has been looking a bit pale lately

    Papercut! Blood! throwing occurs! more blood! people going into a blood frenzy! Wouldn't be a party without it.

    And Carlyle is showing his badass control again. It's in the little things that he shows it.

    You know something's up when bella shows some common sense against Edward. Not that it's a good decision, but yes, if they want to stay together, then yes, it would be best if she was turned.

    Dramatic reveal: they have to leave forks becuase Carlyle looks a bit too young. And Bella isn't invited... The trials and tribulations of young love...

    *ABS!*

    Really? Noone quenstions the fact that a half naked boy brings Bella back from the woods? I mean, sure bringing back is good, but a half naked boy? Come on!

    sadness montage time!

    More grieving.

    Girls night. Oh, she is gonna do something reckless isn't she? Apparition of Edward! Yep, she's gonna do something stupid. Another ghost of birthday past. Yeah! Bella is now a biker chick! And her friends again outdoes her in common snese...

    Oh my. (read this in George Takei's voice). "I saw him. Maybe I'm crazy now, I guess it's ok. If a ruch of danger is what it takes to see him, then that's what I'll find." This just illustrates how much you have dumped your Wis stat.

    Scrap metal. I just know Jacob is going to be the one building the bike. Not her.

    Ok, intermezzo: if someone is busy fixing or making something (restoring a bike, makening something out of wood), don't change or turn off the music. It's disrespectful and disturbs the person's concentration.

    *ABS!* Diving form a cliff!

    Ghost of Edward past!

    You know, girl, if you are learning to ride a bike, look forward! See where you are going! Aand she loses control. And she is not even wearing an helmet? You know, when watching this movie I sometimes think I woul dhave more success talking commoln sense into a brick wall...

    *ABS!*

    "How hard did you hit your head?" Yeah, Jacob, that's what we are wondering as well I mean, nobody should be this stupid right?

    The prodigal friend returns! Talk about a monstrous bear, everyday life I guess...

    So, Jacob is burning up. I guess he's finally ready to go wolfie this should be good for the abs-o-meter

    *ABS* Hair short! Tattoo! He knows about the cullens! They can't be friends anymore! Wow! so sadness, very tragedy, rainy doge.

    The Jamaican! Ghost of Edward past! Bluffcheck, *rolls*, check failed. Well, there is that then... Wolfies to the rescue! Optimus Prime Sammie shows up, and he's taken some friends with him...

    *TRIPLEABS!* *ABS SPREE!*

    Dear Bella, sweet girl. Some big ass wolves come to your rescue and your first response is telling your father that there are larege wolves and that they should be hunted down? Even after sort of recognize Jacob (look into the eyes, mirror of the soul and all that). I mean, that's just cold. Real cold.

    *ABS* Jacob pays here a visit.

    Did the wolves just wrestle themselves thorugh a boat? I feel sorry for the boat owner.

    "jake's right. You're good with weird." Quite the understatement. Bella has been with vampires, and seen 2 wolves transform before her eyes, all without being creeped out. Then again, we all know she's not the shaprest knife in the drawer when it comes to common sense...

    Hunting scene! Victoria! Bella getting stupid ideas! You can tell this willb e badass becuase the music is quite good. Please don't attack the old indian guy, he's like a sage and cool and stuff... Luckily he has wolfies to protect him. No. Nononononono. Please don't tell me he's dead. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I liked that guy, he had common sense! Stephanie, why do you hate common sense so much? Is it really a crime to know what you are doing? Well, at least Victoria is chased off again, so we've got that going for us. And Bella is really going to be stupid again. Ghost of Edward past... So romantic, she jumps off a cliff for him to show her undaying love and dependancy. Really, is Edward a metaphor for a loverboy? A tragic ghost of Edward past. Jacob saving the day. He's gonna be friendzoned isn't he? *ABS!*, *DOUBLEABS!*

    ALice! I like you. you are nice and thoughtful. And possess some common sense. I mean, yeah, the moment she asks "why would you jump off a cliff to kill yourself" is a good question. I'm starting to think common sense is a real superpower in the Twilight universe. Bella "I wan't trying to kill myself...". Lady, if you throw yourself off a cliff with no one for backup, that's usually a clear and big hint of trying to off yourself. Alice: "I have never met anyone more prone to life threathening idiocy." Alice, keep this up and I will fall in love with you. You actually manage to use your brains in this screwed up series.

    gheh, wet dog smell

    Jacob, "Don't get me upset, things will get very ugly" now where have we heard this kind of line before....

    -obvious Romeo and Julliet reference- (I think the Bard is somersaulting in his grave right now)

    Creepy vampire counsel! (the vultory for those who aren't in the know).

    Bella: "I'm guessing you didn't rent this car" Alice: "I thought you wouldn't be opposed to Grand Theft Auto" Bella: "Not today". . You know guys (and gals, and everything in between) some moments in the Twilight movies make for great potential comedy

    And now I wish Bella was an Assassin with a creed. That town really screamed freerunning to me, more specifically a mission in Assassin's Creed 2: Brotherhood.

    Slomo Running! *ABS!* Bella uses Tackle... ...It's super effective!... ...CRITICAL HIT!... Now she gets self esteem issues? And he as well? Oh my Odin! please stand by while I look for a bucket. *blergh*. Sorry about that. Ooh! new side character: Uptight blonde bitch. I'm guessing I'm gonna hate her. I love this villain. He has style and is creepy at the same time. Mkaes me thingk of the original Dracula tales. And he has style. Like serious style. He does have a hand fetish though... Yep I hate Blone Upticht Bitch, she's seriously sadistic. Ah, Bella is speshul. How surprising. I totally don't think this will be important later on.... You know, it's action scenes like in this courtroom that make me think the directors were looking out to the boyfriends as well... Creepy villain doing his thing again. And he's gonna be a ****, and a good one at that. Alice saving the day. Odin do I love this girl.

    Finally Bella is taking control. Alice is being nice, her boyfriend Jasper as well. Rosa is being sensible. Carlyle is being cool. But then again, he always is.

    Meeting with Jacob! *ABS!* setting things straight, like men. You kow, simple, efficient. Sadly, Jacob is being a bitch about it. Male bravado, nothing to see here. Edward now being a bitch. For ever ever? Ever ever? (reference at 2:37)


    General thoughts *salutes to general thoughts*:

    Well, this movie was waaayyyy better then the first. First off the acting has improved by miles. More emotion, more interaction between characters. Sadly though, the story is still lacking (surpise, surprise). The common sense is still only there in the side characters who have no influence. And the angstiness is riding high. I know, it's part of the whole thing, but still, this borders on the disbelief side of things. Aside from that, the character developemnt is just not there.

    The action is still good though, and cinematographicaly the movie is very good. The camera angles are well chosen (and no, no upskirt shots you perverts!). The camrework really works to give the things that happen in the movies some depth and a feel of motion. And again the music is really good. I might not like every song on it';s own, but in the movie it fits. What the movie is lacking in storytelling, the technical stuff makes up for it. The fact that the acting is more believable (I know, low bar set since the first movie) prompts me to give this part 6/10. Just a passing grade since it's not as bad as it could be, but slightly entertaining. (very slightly). You know If I would have a girlfriend and she would really like to watch it I wouldn't bother myself too much, so it's got that going for it. Furthermore the overarcing plot is finally taking some shape.

    So I will see you next time and if you have any questions or remarks/disagreements, please let me know in a civilized manner.
    Last edited by Socratov; 2013-12-08 at 01:42 PM.
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  23. - Top - End - #23
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Edit: to give some idea of how I grade: Underworld (1, 2 and 3) gets a 9/10, Blade a 7/10,, blade 2 an 8/10 and blade 3 a 5/10 Warm Bodies a 0/10 (it was horrible). I love action, hate the combination between romance and comedy and think romance/drama is overrated, unless done in a sensible way (4 weddings and a funeral)
    (8/10 on Blade 2, really ? Ech, no acounting for taste)

    Well, I can see you are totaly the kind of person the Twightlight movies were made for.

    Heh. Y'know, I actually liked it when Edward started explaining to Bella just how bad his blood-craving was. Naturally, "I'm a heroin addict...but with blood" didn't faze her one bit. Common Sense Meter lowering...
    Heh, I think Robert Patisson himself tells it pretty spot on about it.
    Last edited by smuchmuch; 2013-12-09 at 11:29 AM.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Robert Pattinson is the best.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    He's pretty great.

    Quote Originally Posted by smuchmuch View Post
    (8/10 on Blade 2, really ? Ech, no acounting for taste)
    Really, the fact that any Blade movie, even Trinity, scored Lower than the Underworld movies is baffling to me.

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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Zrak View Post
    He's pretty great.



    Really, the fact that any Blade movie, even Trinity, scored Lower than the Underworld movies is baffling to me.
    are you saying you'd rather watch Wesley Snipes in leather then Kate Beckinsale in (extremely tight) latex? Sure, it's whatever you call it, but hey, at least I'm honest about it.
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Socratov View Post
    are you saying you'd rather watch Wesley Snipes in leather then Kate Beckinsale in (extremely tight) latex? Sure, it's whatever you call it, but hey, at least I'm honest about it.
    Oh, most definitely.

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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Zrak View Post
    Ah, that's clear then. Luckily we can all keep to our opinions
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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    I can't look at the word twilight without thinking of, well, Twilight.
    Damn you, it was a perfectly good word, and it ruins it, ruins it forever!
    The Matrix movie has the same effect for me with the word matrix. Not only in its proper definition and use, but in cyberpunk as a whole.

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    Default Re: The aftermath of Twilight, or fiction for giddy little girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    I can't look at the word twilight without thinking of, well, Twilight.
    Damn you, it was a perfectly good word, and it ruins it, ruins it forever!
    Luckily I don't have this problem anymore.

    Now I can't look at the word Twilight without thinking of My Little Pony.
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