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Homebrew Design Roll up your sleeves and get working: there's lots of homebrewin' to be done! Post your custom creation for critiques or review those of your peers.

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Old 04-28-2007, 12:08 AM   Top  -  End  -  #1
The Vorpal Tribble
Banned
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: 
The Mindfields
Gender: Female
eek [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

"Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise!"

Wall of Yo Momma!
Conjuration [Creation]
Level: Sor/Wiz 4
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: Ole woman whose area is up to one 5-ft. square/level; see text
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: Nuh UH!

You summon a moo-moo wearin' old woman and plunk her down whever she can fit. Yo momma cannot form in an area occupied by physical objects or creatures cuz she BIG! Any creature adjacent to yo momma when she is summoned may attempt a Reflex save to disrupt her as she comes into being.

Yo momma can move 20 feet per round, and has a reach of 5 feet. She can slap you silly, able to make 2 slam attacks at a base attack equal to your caster level. These attacks deal 2d6 points of damage each.

Yo momma is 5 inches thick per two caster levels. Each 10-foot square of lard has 1 hit point per inch of thickness. Creatures can hit yo momma automatically. A section of momma whose hit points drop to 0 is breached. If a creature tries to break through with a single attack, the DC for the Strength check is 15 + caster level.

Material Component: A twinkie.

Last edited by The Vorpal Tribble : 03-31-2008 at 10:25 PM.
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Old 04-28-2007, 12:37 AM   Top  -  End  -  #2
FreeRangeOyster
Pixie in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: 
Funkytown
Gender: Male
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

I know we should expect it from you, VT, but that's... that's messed up. Please tell me you're not actually going to use this. Unless you're playing D20 Modern in the ghetto. Then it's gold man, solid gold.
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Old 04-28-2007, 02:16 AM   Top  -  End  -  #3
Demented
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: 
In search of cheese
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

The second sentence earned a smile.
Oh, and what does "Spell Resistance: Nuh UH!" mean? Is that the opposite of a "MmmHmm!"?

[roll0]
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Old 04-28-2007, 02:18 AM   Top  -  End  -  #4
J_Muller
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 
My secret lunar fortress
Gender: Male
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

...This is one of the funniest things I've seen on this forum yet. Congratulations, you win.
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Last edited by J_Muller : 04-28-2007 at 02:19 AM.
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Old 04-28-2007, 02:46 AM   Top  -  End  -  #5
mikeejimbo
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

Vorpal Tribble is a god.

I believe he grants the Insanity domain.
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Old 04-28-2007, 08:40 AM   Top  -  End  -  #6
The Vorpal Tribble
Banned
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: 
The Mindfields
Gender: Female
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Demented View Post
Oh, and what does "Spell Resistance: Nuh UH!" mean? Is that the opposite of a "MmmHmm!"?
*nods*

Uh huh.
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Old 04-28-2007, 09:07 AM   Top  -  End  -  #7
Realms of Chaos
Troll in the Playground
 
AssassinGuy
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

Don't forget the improved version where anyone trying to get through gets stuck in extradimensional folds of fat.

OMG, the Vorpal Tribble is a disease.

Quick, shoot me now.
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Old 04-28-2007, 09:11 AM   Top  -  End  -  #8
Fualkner Asiniti
Barbarian in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: 
Somewhere I shouldn't be...
Gender: Male
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

*Gives Realms a siringe.

We all carry around the cure, just in case.

Great job VT.
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Old 04-28-2007, 02:26 PM   Top  -  End  -  #9
The Vorpal Tribble
Banned
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: 
The Mindfields
Gender: Female
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Realms of Chaos View Post
Don't forget the improved version where anyone trying to get through gets stuck in extradimensional folds of fat.

OMG, the Vorpal Tribble is a disease.

Quick, shoot me now.
Nope, too late now. It'll follow you to the grave!... as will the image of being stuck in yo momma's folds of fat.

*claws out his eyes*
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Old 03-31-2008, 07:40 AM   Top  -  End  -  #10
The Vorpal Tribble
Banned
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: 
The Mindfields
Gender: Female
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

April fool's bump!
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Old 03-31-2008, 12:14 PM   Top  -  End  -  #11
ChumpLump
Barbarian in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: 
On the wicked stage
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

Is anyone else inspired to create a whole domain of Yo Momma?

Minor Image of a Mother, ... is so Fat, ...is so Old,... is so Ugly, ...is so Stupid, ...is so Nasty, ... is so much of a Slut , ... Improved so Fat , Automatic Response (Your Mom!)

What domain ability? 1/day as an immediate action you may interrupt a Diplomacy check being made by any target, by shouting out the two simple words " Your Momma!" at the choice moment. This incurs an incompetence penalty to the target's current diplomacy check equal to your caster level+5. For the next 24 hours the target takes a -5 incompetence penalty to Diplomacy checks.
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Old 03-31-2008, 05:55 PM   Top  -  End  -  #12
SurlySeraph
Ettin in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: 
Department of Smiting
Gender: Male
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

You managed to make me laugh, and I have a cold and just got waitlisted by my favortie college. My hat is off to you, good Sir Tribble.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thespianus View Post
I fail to see how "No, that guy is too fat to be hurt by your fire" would make sense.
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Old 03-31-2008, 06:10 PM   Top  -  End  -  #13
Collin152
Troll in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: 
Phoenix Metro Area, Az
Gender: Male
Default Re: [Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

Is this a summoning, calling, or creation effect?
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