Hey kids! Remember me? Yeah, me neither. But I've finally finished yet another Kingdom of Loathing
class conversion! This time, we've got the holly jolly Disco Bandit, master of moxie! Additionally, I'ma teach you how to implement cocktailcrafting! Wow!
Again, this is most likely overpowered, compared to base D&D classes, and some of the abilities, in my mind's eye, don't seem to work as well as I'd hope, but this should be the basic framework for the class, and you can let your own judgement fill in the gaps.
“I’m not a leader or a fighter or anything. All I knows is how to dance. Well, that and mug people all while busting a disco move. But anyone can mug a person. Not everyone can mug a person with disco.
Off topic, how much is that trinket worth? I’ll buy it from you for the low, low price of 500 meat.”
The Disco Bandit
|Level||Base Attack Bonus||Fort Save||Ref Save||Will Save||Special|
|Moxious Maneuver (1d6), Disco Dance of Doom|
|Overdeveloped Sense of Self-Preservation, Moxious Maneuver (2d6)|
|Disco Nap, Moxious Maneuver (3d6)|
|Advanced Cocktailcrafting, Moxious Maneuver (4d6)|
|*Nimble Fingers, Moxious Maneuver (5d6)|
|*Mad Looting Skillz, Moxious Maneuver (6d6)|
|Disco Nirvana |
|Disco Power Nap, Moxious Maneuver (7d6)|
|Crossbow Fever, Moxious Maneuver (8d6)|
|*Ambidextrous Funkslinging, Moxious Maneuver (9d6)|
|Heart of Polyester|
|Smooth Movements, Moxious Maneuver (10d6)|
|Superhuman Cocktailcrafting, Disco Concentration|
To change the disco bandit to a ten-level prestige class:
- To find the new level for class abilities, divide the current level by half
- Requirements are Profession (brewer) 8 ranks, Perform (dance) 8 ranks, sneak attack ability
- Change Moxious Maneuver to add to sneak attack damage by 1d6 every other disco bandit level
- Remove Nimble Fingers, Mad Looting Skillz, and Disco Nap
The Disco Bandit boogies to and fro, hither and yon. Whence comes he? No man knows. Whither strikes he next? All men live in fear of him and his moxie, which grant him powers unheard of by common men. They slay their victims with the dance, rejuvenate their allies with superhuman cocktails, and possess knowledge of all manner of sneaky and moxious skills.
More often than not, disco bandits are content to adventure just for the sake of adventuring. Good disco bandits seek to entertain and inebriate in good fun, whereas evil disco bandits use their skills in crime such as highway banditry (as the name suggests). Whatever the case, disco bandits enjoy a good crowd to demonstrate their groovy moves to.
Disco bandits don’t fight with big heavy weaponry or flashy explosive spells. This doesn’t mean that their style of combat isn’t impressive to see. They fight with hand and dagger while dancing in melee, and experienced bandits use crossbows as well (they call this style “crossbow fever”), taking any advantage they get, unlike the more orderly style of the monk. When not fighting, disco bandits while away the time by mixing powerful alcoholic beverages called cocktails.
Because disco is a fairly intuitive form of dance (not to mention a form of art) many disco bandits are chaotic. This is further propagated by the idea of banditry that many disco bandits adhere to. Past that, the alignment of any particular disco bandit could be just about anything.
Olidammara is a favorite deity of the disco bandit, because who can say no to a god that commands boozing, mischief, and dancing? More artistic disco bandits could follow Corellon Larethian (not necessarily because of the elven following), and those who take up travel may follow Fharlanghn, or even Erythnul for those who become true highway bandits. Religion isn’t usually a key interest to a disco bandit.
The disco bandit’s training is often a mystery to most. Although anyone can learn the dance of disco, not everyone can apply it to thieving and debauchery. As such, the disco bandit learns the shadier aspects of their skills from other crime figures, more often or not. Some disco bandits start with the life of crime, and merely find that the dance augments their natural talents.
The races that offer the best dancers (elves, half-elves, halflings) also generally offer the best disco bandits. Dwarves aren’t as capable with their disco, but they are known for their cocktailcrafting, and everyone appreciates a drink from them.
Disco bandits excel when working with others. They’ll often trade their cocktails for the noodle dishes of the pastamancer, and will happily dance to victory alongside a seal clubber or turtle tamer (although they are often regarded as too serious). They view accordion thieves as less than capable, although they are willing to listen to a tune to dance to.
Disco bandits work either in close combat like a monk, or from the back, sniping with a crossbow. This makes them both versatile and popular. Additionally, their cocktails can both augment their allies and quickly earn friends.
Charisma is important to the disco moves of the disco bandit, enabling better chances of successful dancing. Wisdom improves their a number of their skills as well as their disco-fu, and Dexterity is useful for crossbow attacks (or throwing knives).
The class skills for the disco bandit are Appraise (Int), Balance (Dex), Bluff (Cha), Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Disable Device (Int), Disguise (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Forgery (Int), Gather Information (Cha), Hide (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Knowledge (local) (Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Open Lock (Dex), Perform (Cha), Profession (Wis), Search (Int), Sense Motive (Wis), Sleight of Hand (Dex), Spot (Wis), Tumble (Dex), and Use Rope (Dex).
Skill points at 1st level: (8 + Int modifier) x 4.
Skill points at every other level: (8 + Int modifier).
The following are the class features for the disco bandit.
Weapon and Armor Proficiency:
The disco bandit is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. Disco bandits are proficient with light armor, but not with shields.
If a disco bandit can catch an opponent with an underhanded, sneaky, or otherwise moxious move, he can use the opportunity for extra damage. The disco bandit’s attack deals extra damage any time his target would be denied a Dexterity bonus to AC (whether the target actually has a Dexterity bonus or not), or when the disco bandit flanks his target. This extra damage is 1d6 at 1st level, and it increases by 1d6 every two disco bandit levels thereafter. Should the disco bandit score a critical hit with a moxious maneuver, this extra damage is not multiplied.
Ranged attacks can count as moxious maneuvers only if the target is within 30 feet.
With a sap (blackjack) or an unarmed strike, a disco bandit can make a moxious maneuver that deals nonlethal damage instead of lethal damage. He cannot use a weapon that deals lethal damage to deal nonlethal damage in a moxious maneuver, not even with the usual -4 penalty.
A disco bandit can perform a moxious maneuver only on living creatures with discernible anatomies—undead, constructs, oozes, plants, and incorporeal creatures lack moxiously exploitable weaknesses. Any creature that is immune to critical hits is not vulnerable to moxious maneuver. The disco bandit must be able to see the target well enough to pick out a vital spot and must be able to reach such a spot. A disco bandit cannot perform a moxious maneuver while striking a creature with concealment, but they may attempt one at a -4 penalty if striking the limbs of a creature whose vitals are beyond reach.
Disco Dance of Doom:
The disco bandit knows how to dance, and they know how to fight, and they know how to combine the two into one groovy package. When a disco bandit makes a full attack on a foe while unarmed, he may make a Perform (dance) check (DC 14 + up to the level of the Disco Bandit). If he succeeds, he may attack that round with their unarmed attacks as a monk of a level equal to the DC – 14, but only in the sense of attack bonus (not damage dealt). If he fails, he takes a -4 penalty to all attacks in that round for being out of his groove. The disco bandit cannot dance effectively while carrying a medium load or wearing anything heavier than light armor, and many consider even light armor too restricting. Upon reaching 14th level, they may instead choose to attack with a light piercing weapon when performing a disco dance, and may use it as a monk would use a monk weapon. Additionally, upon reaching higher levels, the disco bandit gains the power to move in mysterious ways, unlocking the abilities of many dances. Only one additional ability may be used per round, and even then only if the disco bandit succeeded their Perform (dance) check by 5 or more.
By mastering the art of the disco eye-poke, a disco bandit of 4th level or higher may attempt to finish their dance with a deadly eye-poke. If their last attack hits, the opponent must make a Fortitude save (DC equal to the Perform (dance) check of the disco bandit) or be blinded for 1d4 rounds.
Disco bandits of 8th level have learned not just how to disco dance, but to burn, baby, burn with the power of disco. A disco bandit who calls upon the Disco Inferno makes unarmed attacks that round as if they had the burning special ability for weapons (1d6 extra fire damage). This does not harm the disco bandit in any way, nor does it actually create flames: it generates disco energy that radiates heat.
Disco bandits that have reached 12th level have reached a higher level of disco knowledge. They may add their Wisdom modifier to their attack and damage for the duration of the round.
At 16th level, the disco bandit can catch their opponents off-guard with a vicious face stab. If their last attack is successful and made with a piercing weapon, the opponent starts bleeding profusely from the wound. This causes an additional point of damage each round until a single point of magical healing or a Heal check (DC 15) is received.
At 20h level, the disco bandit becomes utterly absorbed in the dance, and gains spell resistance equal to their Perform (dance) result for the duration of the round.
Overdeveloped Sense of Self-Preservation:
A 3nd level disco bandit has a healthy respect for their continued survival, which translates to an ability to react quickly and effectively to any situation. The disco bandit gains both a +2 bonus to their initiative and a +10 bonus to their land speed as long as they are wearing light armor or less and does not help while carrying a medium load.
Disco Nap (Ex):
At 5rd level, the disco bandit knows how to quickly gain energy for extended sessions of disco: the disco nap. Once per day, by spending ten minutes napping, they may recover hit points as if resting for a full day (2 hit points per level).
At 7th level, the disco bandit has begun to perfect the art of cocktailcrafting. They may make special drinks that bestow powerful effects on the imbiber, at the cost of a bit of inebriation. In moderation, this can be handled, but too many cocktails can cause severe impairment, and in extreme cases, death. Three times per day, the disco bandit can scrounge up some drink accessories, which are as follows:
- Coconut shell: Adds muscle to the drink
- Little paper umbrella: Adds a mystical touch to the drink
- Magical ice cubes: Gives the drink a moxious chill
The accessory received is randomly chosen by the DM, and in all cases, have no hardness, 1 HP and an AC of 10. The magical ice cubes do not melt in normal circumstances, and the little paper umbrella does not tear as easily as the name suggests. The disco bandit may then mix the accessory with various forms of alcohol. The disco bandit, depending on the type of alcohol obtained, may add a certain amount of “kick” to the drink in the form of temporary bonuses to stats.
A Disco Bandit of 9th level or higher gains the Deft Hands feat for free.
*Mad Looting Skillz:
At 11th level, the disco bandit gains a permanent +4 bonus to all Search checks.
(These abilities, in the game, kick up item and meat (money) drops from monsters permanently. However, that doesn't really apply to the D&D treasure system, so instead I give skill bonuses. Not exactly the best of patchups, but it works. Maybe.)
Disco Power Nap (Ex):
Disco bandits of 13th level or higher may now recover more hit points with the Disco Nap. They may now spend a minute napping once per day to recover hit points as if resting for a day (2 hit points per level).
Upon attaining 15th level, the disco bandit learns to utilize crossbows in his disco techniques. They may make a Perform (dance) check (DC 14 + up to the level of the disco bandit) whenever attacking with a crossbow. If they succeed, they may treat that shot as a magic weapon. The enchantment bonus is +1 for every four levels added to the DC.
A disco bandit of 17th level or higher gains the Two-Weapon Fighting feat for free. If they already have the feat, they may instead receive a bonus feat for which they already qualify.
(I got this complaint with the Seal Clubber class I did, and how the TWF feat at this late level is a rather paltry reward. Input is welcome. Output, less so.)
Heart of Polyester (Ex):
Disco bandits at 18th level are exceptionally resistant to all forms of sleaziness. They gain a +4 bonus to resist charm and compulsion effects (or, if using KoL energy types, gain sleaze resistance 10).
Smooth Movement (Sp):
By 19th level, the disco bandit has reached the penultimate point of their sneaky craft. Once per day, they may use mislead
as a spell-like ability.
A disco bandit of 20th level has secured knowledge of the mightiest cocktails known to humankind. They automatically add 1.5 times the kick to any cocktail they craft. However, the liver damage remains the same as before this is applied: so a drink with ten base points of kick still does 10 liver damage, but gives 15 points of ability bonuses.
The creator of a cocktail needs a cocktailcrafting kit and one of three “garnishes” for the drink in question. In addition, he needs a base alcohol. The costs for materials and ingredients are subsumed in the cost for mixing the cocktail—50 gp × the amount of kick in the drink.
All ingredients and materials used to mix a cocktail must be fresh and unused. The character must pay the full cost for mixing each cocktail. (Economies of scale do not apply.)
Depending on the type of alcohol, a certain preset kick is added to the cocktail:
- Gin adds two points of Dexterity kick.
- Rum adds two points of Charisma kick.
- Tequila adds two points of Constitution kick.
- Vodka adds two points of Strength kick.
- Whiskey adds two points of Wisdom kick.
- Wine adds two points of Intelligence kick.
Additionally, depending on the garnish added, two more points of kick are added. These may be divided between the two stats for that garnish, or spent on one stat only.
- Coconuts shells may add two points of either Strength or Constitution kick.
- Little paper umbrellas may add two points of either Intelligence or Wisdom kick.
- Magical ice cubes may add two points of either Dexterity or Charisma kick.
Finally, according to the level of the brewer, extra bonus points of kick may be added as they will to any of the above categories. For every two levels above 8th, an additional point of kick may be added to any stat chosen. The brewer may elect to spend none of these points, spend all of them in a single area, or spread them out.
When consumed, a cocktail grants an alcohol bonus (does not stack) equal to the amount of kick set for each ability score. For example, a cocktail made from rum and a coconut shell grants a +2 Charisma alcohol bonus, and either +2 to Constitution, +2 to Strength, or +1 to each of these. If bonus kick was added, those stats receive boosts as well. These alcohol bonuses last for two minutes per point of kick.
Too much alcohol, however, is known to be harmful. Whenever a cocktail is consumed, the user takes liver damage equal to the total kick of the drink. If this liver damage goes over the Constitution score of the user, they are considered staggered until the liver heals completely. If this goes over double their Constitution score, the character dies of alcohol poisoning. Liver damage heals completely if the user gets a full 8 hours of rest, although hangovers usually occur afterwards.
Brewing a cocktail requires one day.