Note: when you reach * or any other footnote see the bottom of the post.
This is the utmost outer edge of reality, where the fantastical and the real combine. And swimming idly through space is a giant turtle: Great A’Tuin. On His (or Her, the astrozoologists still haven’t come to a conclusion) shell there are standing four elephants carrying the Discworld.
It’s a world where reality is so thin you really can cut it with a knife*. It’s night now and the flat surface glows with lights – sort of like an electronic pizza. Let your gaze rest on the Circle Sea, and look at the smudgy galaxy of light known as Ankh-Morpork, biggest and smelliest city in the multiverse, of which all other cities are mere reflections. The Unseen University (short: UU) is lit up especially bright tonight as the wizards are announcing something incredibly important.
All the nobility in Ankh-Morpork and the Sto Plains are present and most of the countries around the circle sea have an emissary or two taking part in Ankh-Morporks’ favourite pastime – watching street theatre**.
Pushed together by the hands of Fate, Duchess Susan Sto Helit, Commander of the Watch Duke Samuel Vimes and Lord Vetinari; the most skilled juggler to have ever (or will or may) ever exist anywhere in the entire multiverse. Vetinari and Susan all in black, and Vimes in his rumpled Watch uniform – although Wilikins had tried to smarten it up. (“The man must generate an internal scruffiness field for gods’ sake!”)
“What do they want to show us again? Susan glazed out.
“They appear to have split the thaum, again.” Vetinari answered.
“This time they’re doing it right.”
Ponder Stibbons stood on the podium and called for silence. The chatter went on. Then the Librarian stood on the stage. “Oook!” Silence spread out like ink in a pool of cold water. “Thank you. Laides and gentlemen, dwarfs, trolls and other inhabitants of our fair-” “Why he say dwarfs first? We trolls older than them.” “Oh, yeah? Well, we’re smarter than you!” “You dwarf. If it were not a pre-stig-ous occai-sion I would-“ The Watch began to converge on the arguing emissaries swiftly.
Then a light, far brighter and much faster than Disc light, flashed out from the contraption in the middle of the room. Waves of light drowned the hall, no one was able to open their eyes, and the light meanwhile, had closed every eyelid and was graffitiing blood vessels onto every eye it could find.
Vetinari, Vimes and Susan opened their eyes to a shadow world. “When did you have tie to change your clothes?” said Vimes, “And where are we. I can see the Hall but we aren’t there are we?” Susan fiddled inside her adapted Deaths’ robe and brought out three life timers. Vimes’ was copper, bearing a shield and a dragon. Vetinari’s was black and Susan’s was fading in and out. And the sand was still running. “Well, none of us are dead so I haven’t the faintest idea. And I can’t collect my own soul so Grandfather should be here.”
“Grandfather?” asked Vetinari.
“He’s Death.”
“Deaf?” interrupted Vimes, “Why would that help?”
“No Death. Skeleton, black robes, scythe. You know, Death? It’s complicated.”
“Oh, don’t hesitate to tell us, it seems we have a little bit time here!” Vetinari said dispassionately. “My mother was found by Death in a shipwreck; he took pity on her and raised her as his daughter. My father became Death’s apprentice for a while, they fell in love and through a complicated series of incidents they became royalty on the Sto Plains and I was born. Grandfather is on holiday too so I’m filling in for him. And there we have a problem. When whatever happened happened you two may or may not have died.”
“Is this to do with the Trousers of Time? ‘Cos I’ve spoken to Death and he always complained about it.” asked Vimes suspiciously.
“Yes. And technically you’re not alive, undead or dead. You’re sort of…umm, figments of the imagination. This hasn’t happened before so we’re going to have to have you to stay in my Grandfathers’ realm until the Trousers sort themselves out. Oh, and we can use his looking glass to check up on the city if you really want to.”
“Great.”
“That seems acceptable.”
And in Ankh-Morpork chaos ensued – well, not actually chaos because even Alchemists can find small threads of order in it – Kaos ensued. (This is a special kind of chaos that is only found in high-magic areas of the multi-verse.*** “Stibbons! What on Disc happened?” bellowed Ridcully
“It appears that the Bursar was talking to Hex about an hour ago.” muttered a student. “Look at this readout!”
+++Reboot+++
+++Universe out of error. Divide by cucumber and insert Universe+++
+++Out of cheese error+++
+++Whoops! Where’s Mister Jelly gone now? +++
+++I have a spoon you know+++
“Then we just got this sheet.” The student hands a sheet to Ridcully. It’s solid octarine. “And this is?”
“We call it the Octarine Sheet of Death.”
“Why?”
“It means that Hex has smashed again. That means he’s temporarily broken Archchancellor.” he added hurriedly as he saw the Archchancellor’s mouth open to ask another question. “And I think I know what happened.”
“Does it involve quantum?” he asked suspiciously.
“No. It involves-“
“Or the continiuniuniunuumuum?” queried Ridcully suspiciously.
“No. But Ponder did have-“
“Who the bloody hell are you then?”
“Adrian Turpinseed. I helped during that Music with Rocks in thing.”
“Don’t remember you at all. And find me Stibbons!” he looks around at the gathering wizards. “And where on Disc is Rincewind?”
“Oook.”
“How can they both be gone?” Just then a large stony hand thumped onto the Archchancellors shoulder. “Where’s Mister Vimes and der Patrician gone? And der Duchess of Sto Helit has gone too.” rumbled Sgt. Detritus.
“Good evening Archchancellor.” a happy voice says as, head and shoulders above the crowd, Carrot strides up to the knot of wizards. “Have they really disappeared?”
“Yes! And two of my wizards have too.” The ever sensitive ears of some high-class Assassins and nobles catch enough snippets from the conversation to surmise that three of the most powerful people in the Sto Plains are missing – presumed, well, missing. Dr Downey murmurs quietly into the ear of his second-in-command “Call an emergency meeting right now. All Assassins in Ankh-Morpork must attend. It appears that we will have pressing business to attend to.” All the Assassins present slipped out of the throng; along with a large number of nobles, as the ingrained Ankh-Morporkian instincts for discovering weakness took over their bodies. The celebration dissolved rapidly. Only the Watch remains to question the Wizards.
In a circle of chairs, illuminated with candles, a gathering of some extremely rich and shadowy figures gather. “Vetinari’s gone, and so has the Watchdog. Sto Helit has also disappeared.”
“Shall we begin?”
“Yes.”
In the Rats Chamber notable Guild leaders and nobles have assembled. “He’s gone. I presume that the elections for the new Patrician will begin soon. Mr. Slant,?”
The desiccated voice of the Discs’ oldest lawyer said, “The preparations have been underway for roughly three hours now.”
“He only disappeared three and a half hours ago!”
“Politics moves faster than light Lord Rust.”
“So does nearly everything else. Vimes has vanished too so I suspect that the Watch will not be a problem.”
“Nevertheless, we must be careful. Keep it legal my Lords and Ladies.”
And in the unholy pit that is The Shades two men wearing robes woke up separately. One started awake with the ease of a long life’s running and thought, “Who the bloody hell am I? I’m a Wizzard, I know that much.” Sighing to himself the Wizzard walks away, absentmindedly avoiding the Mugger (Level Four) in the alley behind him. Rincewind says, “I could kill for some potatoes though.”
In another part of The Shades a Wizard wakes up. “I appear to have no memory of who I am. How peculiar. Mustn’t waste time. I’ll get back to the UU soon.” He stands up and walks determinedly to the lights in the UU. Unfortunately Ponder failed to see the Mugger (Level Two) behind him and was subsequently mugged. The Mugger did get a nasty surprise when he went through the pockets and ran off screaming in a state of Total Knurd.
*although why you’d use a knife when the key is under the mat outside the UU noone knows.
**even if they are indoors. And never mimes. They get thrown in the scorpion pit.
*** Just the Discworld.
Capt'n Carrot (Alpha Mason):
Picks a number (depends on the number of players) of Watch Members he can trust. Scries: Ankh-Morporkian
Watch Members:
Trusted members of Commander Vimes Night Watch. Ability: They may kill one person every third night if at least 50% of the living watch members voted the previous day. Scries: Mason
Nobby Nobbs, member of the masons:
The Lovers (Nanny Ogg and Leonard of Quirm):
Everyone knows the famous painting of the Mona Ogg painted by Leonardo da Quirm. However, many people do not realise that Gytha Ogg (the model) and da Quirm actually fell in love during the painting of his most famous masterpiece. After years of their unrequited love affair Leonard and Nanny meet again short before the happenings in the UU. Now they are hiding in the town, trying to avoid the madness of the lynch mobs and the assassins. Abilities: However, Leonard's mind is still working and as an inventor he is able to make one random invention every third round (if both Nanny and Leonard are active during this rounds, this means pointing). These inventions can be for scrying, killing, baning, avoiding lynch or others. They can give his inventions anonymously to other persons or use them for themselves.
If one of them dies the other one becomes a normal villager. Scries: Lover/Leonard da Quirm/Nanny Ogg
Nanny Ogg:
The Canting Crew (Baners):
They are the scum of Ankh-Morpork, members off the beggars guild and as such lurking through the streets of the town, looking for charity. Unfortuantely, as the canting crew are Ankh-Morporkian sum very few people are willing to...assist those less fortuante themselves. Once a night they will follow siomeone home and wait outside their house all night expectorating, smelling, mumbliung and generally terrifying the neighbourhood. Funnily enough, should this person be attacked they will also scare away the attacker - with varying amounts of success.
The Baners may not protect themselves but one Baner can protect another Baner.
The Baners may not reveal them selfs in public! If they do they will get killed by the Beggars guild immediately.
The protection chance of one baner is 50%, if two baners are protecting the same person this person is 100% safe during the night. The baners don't know each other at the beginning of the game but they may scry in the night one person. The result of the scry is: Part of the canting Crew/ No Beggar Ability: Protects, well terrorises one person at night with a varying rate of success. Scries:Baner
Ponder Stibbons (Seer):
Even though Ponder has no memory of his life as a Wizard he has this peculiar problem. He tends to sleepwalk at night. Right into the poorly protected HEM (High Energy Magic) Building and asks Hex something. Hex, as an incredibly knowledgable thing automatically knows everyone's role with 100% accuracy. At dawn Ponder returns to his bolt hole and wakes up only knowing the true identity of one person. Ability: Scries one person a night. 100% accuracy. Scries: Seer/Unknown Wizard Rincewind (Fool):
Rincewind is a coward born and bred. But he is still a wizard, like Ponder he is prone to sleepwalking but when he goes to the HEM he makes a wrong turning and ends up in The Drum for a few pints. In a drunken haze he will pick one person and follow them in a vague hope that he'll get some potatoes, being rather drunk he will have a 25% chance of following the person back to their home and finding out their true identity. Ability: Scries with a 25% chance of success. Scries: Seer/Unkown Wizard
CMOT (Claude Maximillian Overton Transpire, or Cut me own throat) Dibbler: Salesman: This extremely charismatic and persuasive salesman has the ability to sell any poor sap, umm, customer sausages-inna-bun. And then cause highly painful and potentially embarrassing bowel movements. Dibbler sells his sausage-inna-bun day and night at all hours; certain that he'll get his big break tomorrow. Fortunately for the Discworld Throat hasn't succeeded yet. Ability: Each day he PMs the name of one person he sold a sauge-inna-bun to to the narrators. This poor person then is unable to use any night actions for that night and his/her points will not count toward the final lynching. Wins if at least 50% of the survivors have eaten a suasage inna bun. Scries as: Ankh-Morporkian
Ankh-Morporkian (Citizen):
Just a normal - well, as normal as an Ankh-Morporkian gets - citizen going about their daily business trying not to die. Abilities: Depends. Scries: Ankh-Morporkian
The guy in the middle:
Spoiler
The Day Baner (Mr. Slant):
Mr. Slant is the city's best lawyer and, because he is undead, has had an enormous amount of experience being the best lawyer in the city. He is virtually impossible to beat in a courtroom and as such any person defended by Mr. Slant is released immediately. Since he is such a dedicated lawyer he prepares all night for his cxase so his choice of defendant must be chosen the night before.
Mr. Slant hasn't got to being the best lawyer in the city by always taking the 'right' side. He will work for the person who offers him the most money.
Therefore, the first 'team' who fins him as a result of a scry will have Mr. Slant allie to them for the rest of the game and he will take the winning conditions of the group who scried him first. Ability: Mr. Slant has to send in his action at night, the person he protects is safe the next day. Scries: Baner/Mr. Slant
The mysterious circle of shadowy chairs (Werewolves):
Spoiler
Once more the mysterious circle of shadowy chairs is conspiring over who shall be deemed able to rule Ankh-Morpork as King or Patrician. Having unlimited wealth is quite naturally applied to removing opposition from their path.
William de Worde Sr (Alpha):
The only known member of the MCSC, he was banished from the city by his son but he is now back in Ankh-Morpork and ready to remove all alien races from the city and appoiont a new Patrician or King. He can pick only two people to be part of his MCSC due to the shadowy nature of people who wish to be involved. Scries: Ankh-Morporkian
Dr. Cruces (Werewolf):
He is the Assassin for the MCSC and if he dies the MCSC get no more night kills. As (former) Head of the Assassin's Guild he is 100% accurate in all his killings unless members of the Canting Crew approach; he also willingly eats Dibbler's Sausage-inna-bun and can be prevented from fulfiling his contract in this manner.
If he dies the communications with the assassins guild will get much harder for the MCSC, they only can kill their victims every second night. Scries: MCSC
Ymper Trymon (Devil):
He became a willing (ish) conduit for the Things and he technically died when he fell from the top of The Tower Of Art and was buried. Unfortunately, he came back not as a zombie but a very reasonable facsimile of a human being due to unseen and unheard cicumstances. Thanks to his Thingly powers he can spy on a person at night from the Dungeon Dimensions and find the identity of one person a night. Ability: Scries one person at night. 100% accuracy. Scries: Devil/Trymon
Rich Morporkian people who want to be part of the MCSC
These are member of the upper class of Ankh-Morpork who wants to be part of the MCSC but don't quite know where or who they are. They search the whole night in the known secret society conspiracy rooms if they find signs of the MCSC. Mostly get annoyed because they only find the "Brotherhood of the Red Dragon" or other minor maniacs. Ability: Scries one person at night. Scry result: MCSC/NOT MCSC Scries as: MCSC
Additional MCSC rule: If the three main members of the MCSC are targeting a unknown member of the MCSC with a night kill this MCSC will get recruited instead of killed. If the MCSC is protected by a baner the recruiting fails with the same percentage as a kill would.
If the recruiting is successful there will be no additional night kill this night.
Narrators: CurlyKitGirl, Andre Fairchilde, Zar Peter
Current list of players (alphabetical order, 42 11):
A Rainy Knight (The Bursar) autolynched day7, The duck man, canting crew Almighty Salmon autolynched day 3, villager Altharis (Maladict) autolynched day 3, villager Atreyu the masked Llama (Wannabe Gaspode) killed night 10, villager Aziraphale villager - autolynched day 2 banjo1985 (Gaspode) lynched day 7, Nobby Nobbs, Night watch blademaster42 (Detritus) Chunklets (Willikins) lynched day 11, villager DarkCorax autolynched day 7, Lord Selachii, MCSC detrevnisisiht (Hex as character) villager, autolynched day2 Dr. Bath (The Silver Horde, except old Vincent) lynched day 6, Ymper Trymon, scryer of the MCSC eidreff (Corporal Nobby Nobbs) villager, autolynched day 2 EmeraldRose (Rob Anybody) Emperor Demonking lynched day 3, villager Face of Evil (Golem) killed night 3, Constable Dorfl, Night Watch (mason) Fin autolynched day 7, Nanny Ogg, lover Fleeing Coward Freshmeat_ (Frederico Mearante) killed night 2, member of the canting crew, Foul ol' Ron GuesssWho (Teatime, speak Te-ah-ti-meh) Formerly Villager, died as Arnold Sideways, member of the canting crew, day 4 Haruki-kun (Imp y Celyn) Helgraf Villager, killed night 8 Hexed (Twoflower) villager, killed day 10 I'm da Rogue Sgt. Angua, member of the night watch, killed night 9 Jontom Xire villager, killed night 1 Kasz KerfuffleMach2 Mr. Clete, autolynched day 2, role distributed randomly lamech, killed by the night watch night 4, villager Lizard Lord villager, lynched day 2 Lord Fullblader, Master of Goblins (A Troll) villager, autolynched day 2 Malmagor Andrigal (The Luggage), killed night 6, Ponder Stibbons Mordokai Nibleswick Formerly Arnold Sideways, member of the Canting Crew, died as villager because of requested autolynch, day 4 Ominous (An Auditor no, wait: The Auditors) lynched day 5, started as villager, became the heir of Mr. Clete, MCSC Phantom Fox (Moist von Lipwig), killed by the MCSC night 4, Sgt. Detritus, Night Watch radikalskippy (Windle Poons) killed night 5, villager Raiser_B1ade Spasticteapot (Lu Tze The Librarian)Lupin Wonse, MCSC, lynched day 1 The Bushranger (The Grim Squeaker) topher autolynched day 7, Ronald Rust, MCSC Travelling Angel (Bursar) autolynched day 5, villager Vampiric (A Nome, of the Bromeliad trilogy) whitehelm Zeratul Zombie Pixie (Rincewind) killed night 7, Rincewind
__________________
Avatar by the great Lord Herman. Many, many thanks!
Empress Catherine by Dr. Bath!
Castaras made the PiratZarrrrr. Thank you very much!
Squid Bones: They exist!
Spoiler
Last edited by Zar Peter : 02-26-2008 at 06:19 PM.
Teatime wonders if he still counts as an Assassin, but soon decides that having died one time is no reason to be disloyal, so he heads for the Guild house.
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Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
If you understood the above, click here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama
There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
It seems that the city is running well. They are preparing for a time where I will not come back. I'm so proud of my conspiring nobles. Of course I have to jail some of them when I'm back but they act just like I thought of them.
He discovers a Thud set on a shelf in Death's room
Do you want to play, Lady Sto Lat? Sir Vimes?
((Narrator voice: It's daytime, you may vote! Please vote with red text, if you change your vote stroke through you first vote (red text). Day ends in app. 72 hours, that's Wednesday evening for europeans.))
__________________
Avatar by the great Lord Herman. Many, many thanks!
Empress Catherine by Dr. Bath!
Castaras made the PiratZarrrrr. Thank you very much!
The Silver Horde wander along the streets of the great Wahoonie, Ankh-Morpork, pushing a pile of fur on wheels and grumbling.
"I still don't see why we needed to be clever, Cohen. We just walked in anyway." Says Truckle the Uncivil.
"That's not the point, Truckle. It's like Teach was telling us, we gots to be cul-tured," the word sits uneasily on Cohen's tongue, in the same way a small rabbit would be uneasy surrounded by jackals, "We gotta do things proper."
"Yeah. But what are we even doing here? You can't get a good beer for love nor money. And you know that cities make Hamish jittery."
"Whut?"
"I SAID YOU DON'T TRUST CITIES, HAMISH!"
"Aye, buncha bastards!"
The horde continues in silence for a while, before Cohen replies.
"It's because there's hero'ing to do. I can smell it."
"Are you sure it ain't the river?"
Moist Von Lipwig, in his golden suit, stands slightly shocked at the happenings.
"I guess those Vetiniri stamps will be worth a lot more now... perhaps we should make memorial issues now. Could make a pretty mint off of them."
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A new story updating Mondays. Check it out from the start
Avatar by dirtytabs
((I would like to say I will be playing Imp Y Celyn, although my role play won't be very good, since I haven't read much Discworld. Thank you, that is all for now.))
The dead wizard Windle Poons wakes up in his room, and watches the weird things that happen around him that he never bothered to see when he was alive.
"I wonder why is this happening. Perhaps whitehelm knows the reason. And now... how does this pancreas supposed to work?"
((Magnificent narration as usual, Curly!!!))
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So I herd you liek Mudkipz by Mr. Saturn
Spoiler
Many thanks to both Mr Saturn and B-Man for their avatars!! Antiform Sora, Haloween Sora, Majora's Mask Link, Wolf Link & Midna, KH Sora and Christmas in July Sora
Moist sees the Librarian (Spasticteapot) and wondering what an orangutan is doing here before he remembers stories he's heard about the Librarian. He also remembered in time not to use the M-word around him.
"Perhaps if the Wizards can't help us with finding the missing persons, our helpful primate friend can find the answer in the Library.
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A new story updating Mondays. Check it out from the start
Avatar by dirtytabs
Zar Peter's the narrator unfortunately, so I can't waste my first point on him.
So...I'm pointing at radikalskippy since he pointed at me first.
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I won the WW Game Discworld I (Dei in Machina) by selling sausages ina bun to more than 50% of the surviving player, I showed myself as a cunning, greedy and worthy CMOT Dibbler and all I got is this lousy signature line.
Like any good bastard, Teatime knows another bastard when he sees one. "And what kind of a name is Moist von Lipwig {PhantomFox}, anyway? I wonder if I could play with him sometime . . ."
__________________
Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
If you understood the above, click here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama
There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
The Nomes (I've decided it'll be easier to play all of them ) hide behind the librarian's desk. Grannie Morkie is trying to cheer everyone up, and instead only catches the eye of the Librarian (Spasticteapot). Masklin reaches for his spear, only to be reminded that a Nome is quite a bit smaller than most parts of an Orangutan, and that's just the teeth....
I fought The Mysterious Circle of Shadowy Chairs in Discworld I (Dei in Machina) till the end, won the game and survived and all I got is this lousy signature line.
Walking down the street, Mordokai bumps into the rogue.
"GuesssWho I met today? None other than Bel-Shamharoth! We had tea together, and then he told me he is sick of being always considered this big scary monster, and that he is taking some time of for himself."
He than wobbles down the street, cackling madly to himself.
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Adrie, half elven bard. Drawing by Vulion, avatar by CheesePirate. Colored version by Callos_DeTerran. Thanks a lot, you guys.
This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.
"There will come a day so dark you will pray for death. On that day your prayers will be answered."
Book of shadows, book of night, wake the beast and banish light.
Emperor Demonking marched through the city with his aid, safe in the knowledge that he was the most important person. "Try and get the silver horde through that Bath fellow."
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Navi Plaguelord courtesy of "Make yourself a Navi" website plus some ingenuity on my part...
Werewolf Awards: 'Best Narration: Helgraf' Rabbit says stuff that makes me blush.
I screwed it. Missed totally your post. If you like you get the first role that get's autolynched.
__________________
Avatar by the great Lord Herman. Many, many thanks!
Empress Catherine by Dr. Bath!
Castaras made the PiratZarrrrr. Thank you very much!
Despite his efforts, Twoflower quickly loses Rincewind in the bustling streets of Ankh. Or Morpork. Wherever he is at the moment. As he searches for a sign of the great wizzard, he nearly walks into a troll (Lord Fullblader, Master of Goblins). One look on the trolls face tells him that asking the way is probably not a good idea.
Sergeant Detritus was not a happy troll. Not angry or said, as such, just unhappy. Mister Vimes has gone missing, and so has de Patrician. Things could get real bad in dis man's city. Then again, Carrot is in charge of the watch, so maybe things will be 'lright.
And with this thought, Detritus went on Patrol. And nothing much happened to him. News like Detritus' Siege Crossbow gets around.
Points at GuessWho
__________________ Townies
Townies: Iko,by wojiz (my avvie),Sheezu, and Carl.
My avatars are gone. May look into getting new ones, maybe not.
Currently converting the original Things I'm No Longer Allowed to do While Gaming thread into a word document. PM me for a copy when I'm done!
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A Dyscworlde WereWolfe: Dei In Machina
) hide behind the librarian's desk. Grannie Morkie is trying to cheer everyone up, and instead only catches the eye of the Librarian (Spasticteapot). Masklin reaches for his spear, only to be reminded that a Nome is quite a bit smaller than most parts of an Orangutan, and that's just the teeth....
