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Homebrew Design Roll up your sleeves and get working: there's lots of homebrewin' to be done! Post your custom creation for critiques or review those of your peers.

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Old 04-09-2008, 10:47 PM   Top  -  End  -  #1
SilentNight
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Default Castle in the Sky

These are my first real homebrews so feel free to destroy them at will. They are all from the movie "Castle in the Sky" by Hayao Miyazaki.

Dragonfly Skiff
Spoiler


The Laputa Signet [Major Artifact]
Spoiler


Laputa Golem
Spoiler


Hand Cannon( exotic weapon)
Spoiler


Please critique.
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Last edited by SilentNight : 04-12-2008 at 12:02 PM.
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Old 04-10-2008, 10:32 PM   Top  -  End  -  #2
Icewalker
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Default Re: Castle in the Sky

Interesting stuff, certainly.

I'm not sure if I can really measure anything on the Skiff, I don't know much about vehicle numbers.

As to the signet, I'd say minor artifact.

For the golems, to represent mild tactics I'd suggest upping the int a little more, because 5 is just over animal intelligence (3-). Using The Vorpal Tribble's CR-determining system from here returns a CR of around 10, which may be too low. 11-12 is probably right, I'm not positive really.

As to the hand cannon, looks a bit overpowered. Too much damage. I suggest lowering the damage to medium to 2d6 to make it more reasonable, then maybe increasing the price a bit. Also, tables are handy and can make it a lot easier to read. I don't really know the exact code myself, but Fax Celestis' Guide to Homebrewing has the code for a class table and the like. Just mess with the rows and the labeling.
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Old 04-10-2008, 10:44 PM   Top  -  End  -  #3
SilentNight
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Default Re: Castle in the Sky

I couldn't find the table code on the guide. I cleaned up the post a bit and reduced the hand cannon damage. However, if I make it an exotic weapon then it's only a little above the heavy crossbow and a lot more expensive. Thanks for the feedback though. I tried to base the skiff off of the Carpet of Flying with adjusted speed. I don't quite know if I succeded.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by averagejoe View Post
Chivalry (n): A willingness to find excuses to beat people up.

Last edited by SilentNight : 04-10-2008 at 10:45 PM.
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Old 04-10-2008, 10:51 PM   Top  -  End  -  #4
jagadaishio
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Default Re: Castle in the Sky

With the price of the individual shells for the hand cannon, I would increase its damage. Significantly. After all, you can get 50 crossbow bolts for 5 GP. Plus, it's a freaking cannon. Come on. As long as you keep the price as is and make it exotic, you can jack up that damage and keep it balanced. I would actually suggest 3d6 (that may even be what the hand cannon in Monte Cook's Ptolus deals).
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Old 04-10-2008, 11:01 PM   Top  -  End  -  #5
SilentNight
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Default Re: Castle in the Sky

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Originally Posted by jagadaishio View Post
With the price of the individual shells for the hand cannon, I would increase its damage. Significantly. After all, you can get 50 crossbow bolts for 5 GP. Plus, it's a freaking cannon. Come on. As long as you keep the price as is and make it exotic, you can jack up that damage and keep it balanced. I would actually suggest 3d6 (that may even be what the hand cannon in Monte Cook's Ptolus deals).
I guess I overcompensated, originally I had it as 3d6 and 10gp for five shells, I 'll put the damage back up I guess.
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Quote:
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Chivalry (n): A willingness to find excuses to beat people up.
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Old 04-10-2008, 11:21 PM   Top  -  End  -  #6
Kyace
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Default Re: Castle in the Sky

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentNight View Post
These are my first real homebrews so feel free to destroy them at will. They are all from the movie " Castle in the Sky" by Hayao Miyazaki.
Thanks for the permission. :3
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentNight View Post
Dragonfly Skiff
Spoiler
You are basically duplicating a flying carpet and smoke sticks. Compared to their SRD counterparts, the skiff is a slight bargain, the smoke canisters a rip off. (Well, the free action to release is nice but unlikely worth 280gp until high levels when actions are worth more than gold.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentNight View Post
The Laputa Signet [Artifact?]
Spoiler
I haven't seen the movie, but as this seems a plot device made physical I might offer a few suggestions, feel free to ignore them if they don't fit the fluff. First, make Find the Path only direct the wearer to the castle (I assume this was the ring's role in the movie). Second, passwall at will is strong, but I would assume, from plot conventions, that this function of the ring only works on walls inside the castle.
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Originally Posted by SilentNight View Post
Laputa Golem
Spoiler
Personally, I would combine the effects of disintegrate and fireball into one: make failing the fort save not deal the 5d6 that disintegrate normally deals and maybe make anyone brought to -10 by the secondary fireball be turned to dust as if by disintegrate. This is strong for a CR 11 monster, but since it requires a ray as well offers a fort save VS death and a reflex save VS fire, it might be balanced. You might replace the DR 15/Adamantine with "Hardness 15", it means roughly the same thing, only energy attacks don't ignore hardness like they can DR.
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Originally Posted by SilentNight View Post
Hand Cannon
Spoiler

Please critique.
30gp cost for a weapon that deals 3d6 damage? That can't be right. *looks in SRD, finds Elixir of Fire Breath which deals 4d6 (no attack roll, but reflex save instead) 3 times for 1,100gp.* Roughly speaking, it seems ammo for this weapon (if it requires no training) should cost roughly 275gp per shot. If it requires a feat to use properly *cough*Exotic Weapon Proficiency*cough*, I might understand the cost per shot dropping down to the less than 100 gp level. I also might suggest a "fun" penalty for using the weapon without Exotic Weapon Proficiency, such as *takes page from poisoned weapons* requiring a DC 15 Reflex save on a Nat 1 attack roll or else shooting yourself.

Overall, it looks interesting.
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Old 04-11-2008, 09:01 AM   Top  -  End  -  #7
SilentNight
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Default Re: Castle in the Sky

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyace View Post
Thanks for the permission. :3

You are basically duplicating a flying carpet and smoke sticks. Compared to their SRD counterparts, the skiff is a slight bargain, the smoke canisters a rip off. (Well, the free action to release is nice but unlikely worth 280gp until high levels when actions are worth more than gold.)
That's about it. Except that the actual fog cloudspell lasts a good deal longer than a smoke stick and creates a bigger cloud. The 300gp is from the DMG price guides for a single use-activated item.
Quote:
I haven't seen the movie, but as this seems a plot device made physical I might offer a few suggestions, feel free to ignore them if they don't fit the fluff. First, make Find the Path only direct the wearer to the castle (I assume this was the ring's role in the movie). Second, passwall at will is strong, but I would assume, from plot conventions, that this function of the ring only works on walls inside the castle.
Right you are. But since I am too lazy to do the huge castle with its mega-ray of death right now I changed it to accomadate for normal D&D. If you guys really want it I'll do it. I guess I'll make the signet a major artifact then.
Quote:
Personally, I would combine the effects of disintegrate and fireball into one: make failing the fort save not deal the 5d6 that disintegrate normally deals and maybe make anyone brought to -10 by the secondary fireball be turned to dust as if by disintegrate. This is strong for a CR 11 monster, but since it requires a ray as well offers a fort save VS death and a reflex save VS fire, it might be balanced. You might replace the DR 15/Adamantine with "Hardness 15", it means roughly the same thing, only energy attacks don't ignore hardness like they can DR.
I thought only objects could have hardness. Would 15/- resist energy attacks and the like or no?I suppose the disitigrate/fireball thing works. I'll add that in, thanks.
Quote:
30gp cost for a weapon that deals 3d6 damage? That can't be right. *looks in SRD, finds Elixir of Fire Breath which deals 4d6 (no attack roll, but reflex save instead) 3 times for 1,100gp.* Roughly speaking, it seems ammo for this weapon (if it requires no training) should cost roughly 275gp per shot. If it requires a feat to use properly *cough*Exotic Weapon Proficiency*cough*, I might understand the cost per shot dropping down to the less than 100 gp level. I also might suggest a "fun" penalty for using the weapon without Exotic Weapon Proficiency, such as *takes page from poisoned weapons* requiring a DC 15 Reflex save on a Nat 1 attack roll or else shooting yourself.

Overall, it looks interesting.
It says on the heading that it is an exotic weapon. Also, including exotic proficiency, it requires two feats to fire this thing once per round(rapid reload). The ammunition is also much more expensive than any other ranged weapon. I only made it an exotic weapon because there are no firearms in D&D. In the film a, what 12 year old?, miner assistant uses one fairly easily.
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To know that just one life has breathed easier because you have lived, that is to have succeeded.

My meager homebrew


Quote:
Originally Posted by averagejoe View Post
Chivalry (n): A willingness to find excuses to beat people up.
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