Two things: Grammar and proper punctuation. At least try to get them correct. I understand a few errors, heck I've made some pretty bad errors myself before I began using a spellcheck, but at least make an effort. Due to the speech pattern of the people in this comic I barely knew what was going on!
Quick tips: Every letter that starts a sentence and the letter I when it's alone must be capitalized.
And don't forget to use these handy marks: .,.?!:";' You get the picture.
1. Don't use MS paint unless you're Abardam (The King of MS Paint).
2. In panel four, the blue shirted man with the huge spiky tumor predicts what the chicken will say and answers it before the question is asked. Speech bubbles should go from left to right.
3. No punctuation makes you look like a 6-year-old. Change it for your sake.
4. You spelled 'Legend' wrong in the title.
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The artist formerly known as Tired N' Drowzy, master of puns.
Good art, Sonny, but you really got to learn punctuation and proper spelling.
The Legend of Someone
Sonny: Ugh, I always hate that part.
Chicken: Well, good morning, sleeping beauty!
Sonny: I’m going to change. Try and find out what you can.
Chicken: Where’d you get those clothes?
Sonny: Borrowed them from that guy.
Sonny: We probably will never see him again.
Chicken:Yeah. Try not to steal too much; remember what happened last time.
Sonny:Yeah, that was great! Let’s do it again!
Sonny: ... So where are we anyway?
Chicken:I have no idea.
Chicken: Well, I can use my magic …
Sonny: Wait! I know this place!
(Whispering in bushes) You hear that? Oh crap! Intruders! Get them!
Sonny: I’M HOME!
I'm sure there's potential here, you just need to work on it some more. I suggest you get someone to read the strips first and help you edit.
Also... about panel four... You need to make the first speech bubble on the left and the second one on the right. You can do the whole comic Manga-style (right to left) if you want, but then you'd have to do every single panel as such.
OKOKOKOKOKOK! i get im working on my grammer im fixing it now anyway i am using inkscape not paint (is it that bad) can give me some criticism that don't invole grammer
@^see like that thanks ill work on it
Last edited by someonenonotyou : 08-20-2008 at 12:56 PM.
Alright, I did a few rough sketches that I hope you might find helpful. These are merely suggestions, but it's how I work, so if you find it useful.... well, I hope you do.
First, make your lines thicker. It's easier to get a feel of the stick figures like that. Usually, go around 1.7 lines for regular-sized avatars. Let the lines scale when making things bigger.
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Goes from this to this.
Second, those feet are pretty much parallel to the ground, which is natural, but even in OOTS-style there's some perspective. Make them a little more diagonal. If they're looking sideways, play around with the feet until you feel it's right.
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Sorta like this.
Third, the lying down position looks really good, but the feet get in the way again. Parallel feet that aren't on the ground don't look right. (looks more like he's dead). You can fix this by making both legs face the same way when he's lying down. Characters who are lying down are basically facing sideways (sideways being up in this case).
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Fourth, the arms are a little too low. OOTS arms start roughly between the head and the body. Mostly, they should look like they're coming from the neck, since OOTS characters don't have necks. (Unless they have sleeves.) If the arms' position shifts, the starting position should still be the same, which should not be a problem in Inkscape. Also, try to make them longer and less curvy. They should only curve in the upper part, where the shoulder would be. (Again, unless there's sleeves.)
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Finally, make the ends of the lines and the corners smooth. The option is by selecting it and pressing Ctrl+Shift+F in Inkscape, on the last tab, in case you haven't seen it. It doesn't make a huge difference, but it does help a lot in close-ups and in general to make the comic look smoother.
Good art, Sonny, but you really got to learn punctuation and proper spelling.
The Legend of Someone
Sonny: Ugh, I always hate that part.
Chicken: Well, good morning, sleeping beauty!
Sonny: I’m going to change. Try and find out what you can.
Chicken: Where’d you get those clothes?
Sonny: Borrowed them from that guy.
Sonny: We probably will never see him again.
Chicken:Yeah. Try not to steal too much; remember what happened last time.
Sonny:Yeah, that was great! Let’s do it again!
Sonny: ... So where are we anyway?
Chicken:I have no idea.
Chicken: Well, I can use my magic …
Sonny: Wait! I know this place!
(Whispering in bushes) You hear that? Oh crap! Intruders! Get them!
Sonny: I’M HOME!
I knew you were lieing when you said you were leaving in the bye thread.....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost
DD: .... DEM HIPS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by banjo1985
My wedding underwear has a picture of Dallas Dakota's face on them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by faerwain
Why do I have the feeling that you actually really grind Smurfs to make your ice cream?
Well updated and NO spelling mistakes a big cookie for anyone who can find one (except the one purpose) so yeah boo yeah! well anyway i going to bed it is like 3:00 and I have been working all day so telll me what you think
One little tip I've recently learned: If you bend the legs (Not the feet, just the line connecting foot/shoe to torso) in the direction they look more dynamic than just a straight line, it portrays motion better.
Well updated and NO spelling mistakes a big cookie for anyone who can find one (except the one purpose) so yeah boo yeah! well anyway i going to bed it is like 3:00 and I have been working all day so telll me what you think
*go's off to search for spelling mistakes*
Found two in #1, Well, one maybe and one for certain :
IM home should be I'm home. And the uhg, should be ugh.
I iz getting cookies now?
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Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost
DD: .... DEM HIPS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by banjo1985
My wedding underwear has a picture of Dallas Dakota's face on them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by faerwain
Why do I have the feeling that you actually really grind Smurfs to make your ice cream?
Ceikatar!
Last edited by Dallas-Dakota : 08-23-2008 at 08:36 AM.
Also, in the final panel of comic 2 the "GRR" on the protagonist’s shirt is backwards.
And let's not forget, the eye patch is on the wrong eye when he turns around, and if it is part of the story that he needs the eye patch and is not just wearing it to look cool, I personally suggest you make a second template with the eye patch on the right side.
Of course, having the eye patch on the wrong side is by no means an error, and is perfectly exceptable to most crowds, but personally I find that having the asymmetrical characters with everything on the same side all the time better, rather then the alternative.
And of course, "lampshading" (acknowledging the error to make it permissible to the audience) the asymmetrical characters would kinda be ripping off Almighty Salmon a little.
OK now everyone you can stop panicing now that i got inkscape working The Legend of Someone iiiiiiiiiiiissssssss back! ok so ill have the new update proley tommorow (depends on homework) :smallbi ggrin:!!!
In panel one you said get instead of good and probably should capitilize Well.
In the second one instead of were it should be we were.In panel there is no punctuation.In five she said "Look just who are you." should be a ? and though should be thought.In eight "my mine" should be "my mind".
I love it though and thought I would give you a comment.
Oh MY GOD! *instert much squeeling here* THIS IS AWESOME....Someone keep up the good work, at this pace your comic will be as neato as your avatar.
Now, the last two panels of the #3 are a little uneven, the last panel is a little squished, and both the GRR on the shirt is kinda...backwards. Other then that, and a little bit of grammer...I think....not my strong suit. It's great.
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"I laugh at life, it's antics make for me a giddy game. Where only foolish fellows take themselves with solemn aim.”
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The Legend of Someone
Re: The Legend of Someone
i would like some opinions... please
