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Homebrew Design Roll up your sleeves and get working: there's lots of homebrewin' to be done! Post your custom creation for critiques or review those of your peers.

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Old 09-28-2008, 09:40 PM   Top  -  End  -  #1
Shadow_Elf
Titan in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: 
Puranah, Najmah
Gender: Male
Default [4e Paragon Path] Haven't you ever wanted to make your enemies dance uncontrollably?

Phantom Dancer
“Care to dance?”

Prerequisite: Rogue or Warlock class, trained in Stealth and Bluff

Life is like an endless dance to you, each new adventure playing to a different tune. You leap in and out of the shadows, inspiring fear, paranoia and uncontrollable dance among your foes. When it comes time for you to take your bow, your enemies give no applause… for they are all more than likely dead.

Phantom Dancer Path Features
Chaos Action (11th level): When you spend an action point to take an extra action, you also gain +6 to all your defences against opportunity attacks until the end of your next turn, but enemies also gain a +2 bonus to opportunity attacks made against you until the end of your next turn.
Phantom Dance (11th level): Any creature that misses you with an opportunity attack, but would hit itself with the same roll, attacks itself instead.
Phantom Orchestrations (16th level): If an attack hits your Reflex defence, but would miss your Will defence, the attacker must re-roll the attack, with a +2 bonus. Critical hits ignore this requirement.

Inspire Dance Phantom Dancer Attack 11
“Your foe suddenly feels an irresistible urge… to dance”“
Encounter * Arcane, Charm, Necrotic
Standard Action Close Burst 5
Target: One enemy in burst
Attack: Charisma vs. Will
Hit: 2d6 + charisma modifier necrotic damage and the target begins to dance (save ends). While dancing, a target must spend a move action each turn to dance, which provokes opportunity attacks.

Undeniable Innocence Phantom Dancer Utility 12
“You convince your opponent that your are not the foe he’s looking for”
Daily * Arcane, Charm
Immediate Interrupt Personal
Trigger: An enemy announces an attack against you
Effect: Make a Bluff check against the target’s Will defence. If you beat it, it attacks someone else. If you beat it by 10 or more, it decides not to attack.

Chaos Wake Phantom Dancer Attack 20
“You run in and out of existence, causing utter mayhem in your wake”
Daily * Arcane, Charm, Necrotic, Fear
You teleport up to 10 squares, stopping as often as you like adjacent to an enemy. Each enemy you stop adjacent to is subject to the following:
Attack: Charisma vs. Will
Hit: 2d10 necrotic damage and the target is given a mental effect. Roll 1d10 and consult the following table:
1: The target is stunned (save ends)
2-4: The target begins to dance (save ends)
5: The target is blinded (save ends)
6. The target takes ongoing 5 necrotic damage
7-9: The target is dazed (save ends)
10: The target attacks its nearest ally in range. If there is no ally in range, it takes 2d6 + your charisma modifier necrotic damage

This is my last one for probably awhile. Bed now, and school this week (again), so hmwrk shall be my primary concern.
Another 15 minute job, and I'm tired to boot, so PEACH away, cause I'm sure I missed stuff.
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Old 09-29-2008, 07:48 AM   Top  -  End  -  #2
Zocelot
Bugbear in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: 
Toronto
Gender: Male
Default Re: [4e Paragon Path] Haven't you ever wanted to make your enemies dance uncontrollab

Chaos action is exactly the same as a +4 bonus. You could simplify it a bit. I like the other features though

Inspire dance is powerful enough against one person. Make it ranged 5, instead of burst 5.

For Chaos Wake, Phrase it so that you teleport 1 square up to 10 times instead.
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Old 09-29-2008, 01:44 PM   Top  -  End  -  #3
Jaerc
Dwarf in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: 
Salt Lake City, UT
Gender: Male
Default Re: [4e Paragon Path] Haven't you ever wanted to make your enemies dance uncontrollab

I like the idea.
The execution needs a lot of work.

Chaos Action: It goes against the spirit of the 4e rules to use the old bonuses paid for by penalties. I would change this to "When you spend an action point to take an extra action, you do not provoke opportunity attacks until th end of your next turn."

Phantom Dance: Do to the changes above this needs to be changed. Perhaps as you dance, you weave deadly blows into your steps, and even cause enemies to attack themselves. "Whenever you do or would provoke an opportunity attack, the attacking enemy takes your Dexterity modifier in damage."

Phantom Orchestration: Its very very powerful. It has a nest of exceptions built in, which is not a good thing. Lets try this. I'm not exactly sure what the intent here was so I don't think I can tackle it without feedback.

I'll look at the powers later, but I can see they will require some work with wording at the least.

Good show.
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Old 09-29-2008, 05:43 PM   Top  -  End  -  #4
Alteran
Bugbear in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: 
Montreal
Gender: Male
Default Re: [4e Paragon Path] Haven't you ever wanted to make your enemies dance uncontrollab

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zocelot View Post
Chaos action is exactly the same as a +4 bonus. You could simplify it a bit. I like the other features though

This is so the enemy has a higher chance of hitting itself instead. (See Phantom Dance)

Inspire dance is powerful enough against one person. Make it ranged 5, instead of burst 5.

It says one target in a close burst 5. This just means you don't need to have line of sight.

For Chaos Wake, Phrase it so that you teleport 1 square up to 10 times instead.

I agree with this, just make sure to note it doesn't provoke opportunity attacks.
My comments in bold.

Last edited by Alteran : 09-29-2008 at 05:45 PM.
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Old 09-29-2008, 06:50 PM   Top  -  End  -  #5
Shadow_Elf
Titan in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: 
Puranah, Najmah
Gender: Male
Default Re: [4e Paragon Path] Haven't you ever wanted to make your enemies dance uncontrollab

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alteran View Post
My comments in bold.
Alteran's got my intentions right. Chaos Action is meant to increase the frequency with which they strike themselves with Phantom Dance.

Chaos Wake as 10 1-square jumps is not as good though, since you can't teleport 1 square if you're surrounded. The wording may be a little complex, but I don't think it is needlessly so.

Also, Inspire Dance does, indeed, only target one creature. I just didn't want it to provoke AoOs.
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