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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I cannot be Bard with 1 level of Paladin of Freedom just so I can seduce every BBEG of opposite gender and then use Smite Evil on my Secret Hyper Weapon.
** BBEG of the same gender isn't allowed either.
* Cannot be Chaotic Good and spend entire game trying to break and corrupt every single Lawful character I stumble upon and claiming I just want them to be themselves.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Not allowed to use Ghost Sound to convince the fighter that his new sword is talking to him.
** Not allowed to use Ghost Sound to convince the cleric that his god is speaking to him.
*** May not convince said cleric that he must make an ark and collect 2 of each animal.
**** Not allowed to use Ghost Sound.
* Not allowed to combine a Decanter of Endless Water and a guitar to make a guitar that gently weeps.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
- My INT 40+ epic wizard may not Genesis a demiplane with flowing time, discover all of modern physics, and return to the Prime Material with a working hydrogen bomb one round later.
- I may not name my wizard Mark and demand to be addressed as Arcane Mark.
- Similarly, I cannot play a dwarf raised by humans and named Rodney, all for the sake of one day taking levels in dwarven defender and earning the nickname Immovable Rod.
- I may not polymorph myself into a copy of my familiar while polymorphing my familiar into myself, on the off chance that someone gets close enough to try to assassinate me.
- In the same vein, my familiar will get a veto on all suicidal familiar-abuse plans.
- I may not try to invent spells like Contact Other Game (focus: a rectangle of white marble with an apple carved into it) to consult with my munchkin buddies.
- I may not use other posts in this topic for inspiration.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*The internet is not a plain of existence
**That doesn't mean I can create it.
***Facebook is not the most powerful of all the warring social networks
****Apparently myspace can be a completely deserted nation.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Just because my character spent all his skill points on Sing, Craft (Women's Clothing), and Profession (Lumberjack) does not mean he'll be OK.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
- Knowledge (plot spoilers) is never a class skill.
- It also cannot be used untrained.
- I may not Awaken a cannabis plant.
- I may not play an Awakened cannabis plant.
- If I violate the previous rules, the character does not do INT damage to everything nearby when struck with a fire attack.
- I may not use metamagic cheese to Intensify the Awaken spell and produce a 36 INT kitten.
- I may not crush civilization beneath the mechanized paws of a thousand genius cats.
- I may no longer even consider casting Awaken.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not name my characters by sticking two random words together
**I am to burn the character sheet of Trash Boat the monk
***And Bottle Gum the bard
****The Urge can only be a villains name
*****I can only take names given off the example list in the players manual.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dire Panda
- I may not use metamagic cheese to Intensify the Awaken spell and produce a 36 INT kitten.
- I may not crush civilization beneath the mechanized paws of a thousand genius cats.
- I may no longer even consider casting Awaken.
- The above rules also apply in regards to Awakened squirrels.
- If the previous rule may only be broken by a halfling Druid, and then only if said halfling carries a THICK Scottish accent.
- I may not abuse the Awaken spell and liberal use of the leadership feat to produce 8 cohorts and over 300 followers of Awakened squirrels, flying squirrels, giant squirrels, and giant dire squirrels.
- making every single squirrel in the above army Druids, and then having them all cast Summon Nature's Ally and/or Summon Swarm at once will cause your DM's brain to hemmorhage.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*The verbal component of eldricht blast is not "Hadouken!"
**Nor is it "Sonic Boom"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My monk's battle cry is not "Round One: Fight!"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My half orc may not have a melee bonus of +7 at level two.
I totally did this first time I even used the forum dice roller. :smallbiggrin:
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*My half orc may not have a melee bonus of +7 at level two.
** If my orc fighter 2 character doesn't have at least a +10 attack with his weapon, he's doing it wrong.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*It is assumed that a wizard actually knows how magic works.
**If for some reason your wizard has absolutely no clue, I'm going to give your spells ransom effects until you invest at least one skill point in spellcraft and/or knowledge arcana.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Balmas
*My monk's battle cry is not "Round One: Fight!"
*Neither is it "Heaven Or Hell?! Lets Go!"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
- The "Rod of Wonder" is a magic item, not a nickname for my character's anatomy.
- Should I violate the previous rule, pointing it at a foe and speaking the 'command word' gives them an immediate sunder attempt.
- Make Whole doesn't work that way.
- I may not be a Eunuch Warlock with the worst backstory ever.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dire Panda
- The "Rod of Wonder" is a magic item, not a nickname for my character's anatomy.
- Should I violate the previous rule, pointing it at a foe and speaking the 'command word' gives them an immediate sunder attempt.
- Make Whole doesn't work that way.
- I may not be a Eunuch Warlock with the worst backstory ever.
*nor am I a Lord of Rodly Might
**No, a Rod of Lordly Might does not work like viagra
***I am to warn my next DM that I can't play male characters
****A Rod of Wonder/Rod of Lordly Might are not to be used as strap-ons (acutally tested this)
*****I am to inform the DM that I am to play genderless characters...
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am allowed to play NPC classes, but I may not play a mob of them as a level adjustment.
**A mob of level 12 aristocrats cannot crush a gelatinous cube to death.
*My bard is to never perform standup.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
- I may not attempt to unionize another PC's followers.
- The same goes for the BBEG's orc legions.
- Skeletons are right out.
- Looting the king's castle is not redistributing wealth.
- I must be prepared for the party cleric to hit me if I go around telling NPCs that religion is the opiate of the masses.
- My character may no longer be a communist.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*No the fact that we all have a set wealth level based on how many wombats we've killed doesn't count.
*No the fact that we can't sell anything at market price and making it ourselves is simply more useful doesn't count either.
*No the fact that most monsters no matter how powerful also have set parameters for wealth doesn't count either.
*I must stop drawing parallels between dnd and communism.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*We are allowed to play awakened animals, but I may not be an awakened rabbit
**Or Panda
***Or crab
****Now I HAVE to play as an awakened fish.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dire Panda
- I must be prepared for the party cleric to hit me if I go around telling NPCs that religion is the opiate of the masses.
*Cannot answer any quote from anyone's holy book with anything involving words "3:16".
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*We are allowed to play awakened animals, but I may not be an awakened rabbit
**Or Panda
***Or crab
****Now I HAVE to play as an awakened fish.
Claus?
* I may not play as an awakened fish with profession(psychotherapist)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Socratov
Claus?
* I may not play as an awakened fish with profession(psychotherapist)
* awakened frog bards may not choose perform (dance) as their performance art. Neither perform (sing).
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
**That's it. From now on, all living things that are targets of an awaken spell are now extinct due to a ecological catastrophe caused by an awakened mouse.
Congratulations. You've brought untold suffering down upon worlds that don't even exist yet! *edits nature out of the next four campaigns*
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Just because we have a staff of raise dead doesn't mean we need to use it.
**I am not to hold the staff of raise dead until the DM forgets about it.
***If I use said staff to raise a plot important death, it is turned into a staff of fireball.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
*Neither is it "Heaven Or Hell?! Lets Go!"
** Yelling "Rebel One, Action!" is not an appropriate Join Battle stunt.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*My half orc may not have a melee bonus of +7 at level two.
I totally did this first time I even used the forum dice roller. :smallbiggrin:
Your DM is under the impression that this is something to be afraid of?
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
planswalker
* awakened frog bards may not choose perform (dance) as their performance art. Neither perform (sing).
** Perform (kiss) is likewise prohibited.
All women enjoy the kiss of prince Navine.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*pointing out the absurdity of ranger's favored enemy bonuses applying to dracotaurs, satyrs, and gargoyles as the same category yet somehow a kobold, elf, and dwarf are too different to be same category will not get all humanoids approved as a single category.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
In PTTA
* I may not create a SAD character that gains damage, health and DR from one stat, and pump only this stat.
** Especially if it is not a Psychic.
** Gaining more HP per level than a SAD CON class will get me far tougher encounters than everyone else.
*** If I do this, I may not complain about always having to tank everything for all the other squishy party members.
** I may not create a build like this and then say that I am a pacifist.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Esprit15
In PTTA
* I may not create a SAD character that gains damage, health and DR from one stat, and pump only this stat.
** Especially if it is not a Psychic.
** Gaining more HP per level than a SAD CON class will get me far tougher encounters than everyone else.
*** If I do this, I may not complain about always having to tank everything for all the other squishy party members.
** I may not create a build like this and then say that I am a pacifist.
*If such character is created, Electrode carpet bombing is now a valid tatic for the GM to use against you.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MesiDoomstalker
*If such character is created, Electrode carpet bombing is now a valid tatic for the GM to use against you.
* In such a scenario, I am to treat it as "Rocks fall, everyone dies," not count out the damage or devise a way to avoid dying.
* I also instantly fail the death save.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may no longer watch strange indie Alice in Wonderland films when creating a dnd campaign setting.
**Especially ones set in downtown London.
***Double for ones that feature creepy dolls.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Cannot use anything I read in Twisted Princess series with changed names as a character backstory.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
* unless I'm playing the villain...
* Cannot use a variation f your standard cindrella story as background but add in a few twists such as godmother being more eldritch lovecraftian horror and mass-murder.
** Especially not when I was told I wasn't a villain...
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My bard may not be an 'adult play' star.
**He may not take it as a skill
***I may not inspire confidence this way.
****I fascinate EVERYONE when I do this.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
-when you insult the DM as he's about to roll for how many monsters attack the party? He's going to decide to just go with the max, and probably start it as an ambush. Protip, etc.
-if the DM pulls out the Call of Cthulu D20 rulebook, things are not going to go as anyone expects. Not even for the DM.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Creating a spell that summons technicolour pachiderms will result in san damage. So will casting it or seeing the results.
Pink elephants
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
if memory serves, we're allowed to bring in non-dnd stuff
and I don't recall seeing this mentioend (though I'm sure it has been)
*** I am not to base Shadowrun Characters on Team Fortress 2 characters...
((apparently it traumatizes my players.))
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
big teej
if memory serves, we're allowed to bring in non-dnd stuff
Oh, yes please. D&D may be the biggest demographic, but any game is fair game. Just please elaborate if it is an obscure game or setting.
Quote:
and I don't recall seeing this mentioend (though I'm sure it has been)
*** I am not to base Shadowrun Characters on Team Fortress 2 characters...
((apparently it traumatizes my players.))
* If my character's best weapons are a crowbar and a ranged object manipulator, I am doing things wrong.
** If my character only has the ability to teleport and fall from arbitrary heights, I am doing things wrong.
* Being a mute is a privilege, not a right.
** I am not allowed to give my character a snarky animal sidekick just so I can participate in conversations while playing a mute.
*** If my formerly mute character has been tortured for several years, his first words should be plot significant. "Cheese" does not cut it.
*Being a cheerleader is likewise a privilege, not a right.
** I may not use a rod of wonder on my enemies in the hopes that they will turn blue.
*** Nor may I give them hair styling tips.
**** Nor funky fresh flying cars.
***** Nasty scars are fine.
** If my involves rapping, I had better be playing a bard.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*If the dm for a game I am applying to asks me to explain what sorts of roles my summoner druid would find useful to complement him, I better be able to come up with an answer besides "decoys" and "minions to carry my loot".
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*If me and my mid-level party sees an Adult Silver Dragon, we will not charge at it, weapons drawn, without provocation.
**No, not even then.
***Killing the Silver Dragon after - due to a lucky critical - it has surrendered and is pleading for its life is right out.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*No, you cannot be a cat with psionic powers.
*Not even if he spends most of the game in a battlesuit.
*Especially if he spends the game in a battlesuit.
*Even if this were to be allowed, the acronym for your battlesuit may not be M.E.O.W. Even if it makes total sense.
*Please don't throw the druid.
*Even if it seems to be the only way out of the pit.
*If your back-up plan ever again contains enough c-4 to level a city block, think of a new back-up plan.
*Stop insulting the elder demon.
*Don't punch it, either.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bearpunch
*Even if this were to be allowed, the acronym for your battlesuit may not be M.E.O.W. Even if it makes total sense.
Please elaborate.
I know of one acronym I use often in futuristic RPG's, C.A.T.S. (Command and Tactical Support, a unit designation) and a C.A.T.S. M.E.O.W. is just too good to pass up.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Emperordaniel
*If me and my mid-level party sees an Adult Silver Dragon, we will not charge at it, weapons drawn, without provocation.
**No, not even then.
***Killing the Silver Dragon after - due to a lucky critical - it has surrendered and is pleading for its life is right out.
*If we do this, we will not question are alignments changing to evil.
**Nor will we question our DM opting to do something bad to us for this if he happens to like dragons in general, good aligned dragons in particular, and Silvers as one of his top favorites in D&D.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* No longer allowed to combine Summon Nature's Ally with Irresistible Dance to recreate Happy Feet movie.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
* No longer allowed to combine Summon Nature's Ally with Irresistible Dance to recreate Happy Feet movie.
** Double ditto for Summon Undead substituted for SNA and thriller.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My players should not need to test underground dungeons with canaries
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
- I may not refer to my animal companion as "Mister Fluffykins" if he is larger than me.
- Especially if my animal companion is female.
- If I violate the previous rule, I may not complain if my character gets eaten.
- I may not attempt to research "Spay/Neuter" as a first-level druid spell.
- Not even if I attempt to justify it in-game as controlling animal populations to benefit nature overall.
- If my DM is gullible enough to let me break the previous two rules, I will not use the spell on NPCs.
- Especially not questgivers, kings, epic wizards, or other important figures.
- Should the aforementioned powerful NPC roll a natural 1 on his Fortitude save and suffer the spell's effects, I should expect both myself and Mister Fluffykins to die horribly.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
I may not combine Aberrant feats with Druid and Master of Many Forms to become a Beholder at level 7. Especially when in a diplomatic position.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to throw the BBEG Nixie Sorceror onto his own spike traps.
**I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to throw knives.
***I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to pull out the one book in the stack and knock over the bookcase on the enemies.
****I may not use the spell Mage Hand when we are in a combat situation.
*****I may not prep the spell Mage Hand more than once a day, nor may I take it on a Sorceror or Bard.
******If the DM calls for a DC when I use the spell Mage Hand, the answer may not be higher than 25.
*******I may not use Mage Hand to prepare for a battle situation.
********I may never cast the spell Mage Hand again.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Mage hand is a serious spell, not for my characters own pleasure.
**Or practical jokes
***Or some other persons pleasure
****Or filthy jokes
*****Or filthy actions
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Techwarrior
*I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to throw the BBEG Nixie Sorceror onto his own spike traps.
**I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to throw knives.
***I may no longer use the spell Mage Hand to pull out the one book in the stack and knock over the bookcase on the enemies.
****I may not use the spell Mage Hand when we are in a combat situation.
*****I may not prep the spell Mage Hand more than once a day, nor may I take it on a Sorceror or Bard.
******If the DM calls for a DC when I use the spell Mage Hand, the answer may not be higher than 25.
*******I may not use Mage Hand to prepare for a battle situation.
********I may never cast the spell Mage Hand again.
* I may no longer blatantly and utterly ignore the rules of mage-hand to try to force my DM to let me pull off the above tricks which do not work by the rules at all.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Actually they all do, at least in 3.0. 3.5 edited the spell Mage Hand to not allow targets that weren't nonmagical inanimate objects, and it gave no save DC.
That's the only ones that I can think of that don't work :smallconfused:
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Techwarrior
Actually they all do, at least in 3.0. 3.5 edited the spell Mage Hand to not allow targets that weren't nonmagical inanimate objects, and it gave no save DC.
That's the only ones that I can think of that don't work :smallconfused:
wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PHB 3.0
Mage Hand
Transmutation
Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: Nonmagical, unattended object
weighing up to 5 lb.
Duration: Concentration
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
You point your finger at an object and can
lift it and move it at will from a distance.
As a move-equivalent action, you can move
the object up to 15 feet in any direction,
though the spell ends if the distance
between you and the object ever exceeds
the spell’s range.
I'll grant that your book trick is by RAW because dnd fails at physics forever, but the dagger attack is a very debatable thing your dm should never have allowed. Grabbing the nixie explicitly is disallowed. If a spell that doesn't normally call for a dc needs one, the dc isn't something you pull out of your butt. DC's for spells are easily calculable and your dm should never have to ask you for it. Mage Hand, being a 0 level spell, would have a dc of 10+relevant ability modifier+any other bonuses relevant (specialist, spell focus, etc). Unless you have an absurdly high number of miscellaneous bonuses, you're nowhere close to dc 25.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Hm... You're right. I had been operating under limited information, as at the time that I was playing, I had never even opened the player's handbook. It was my first roleplaying experience and I was using a premade character with very little actual description of my abilites.
To answer the DC question.
I had 36 Int (+13), Spell Focus Transmutation, and Greater Spell Focus
In defense of myself abusing the system. The character was over a decade ago, and I knew very little about the system at the time. I was a friend of a friend who was handed a 20th level character. Not entirely the greatest experience, as I had to figure out the entire system as we went along, and had to contend with a 20th level wizard.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Fair enough. I just wanted to point out that most of the tricks you pulled are things that don't really work.
but yeah, if you're playing a 20th level wizard with 36 int and you actually ever cast a 0th-level spell, odds are good that wierdness happens.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
No matter the system, I am not allowed to have access to any power that allows telekenesis.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* My Soverign-class battleship is not the F.S.S. Snuggleguts.
* Chuck Norris is not my character's Fetch
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may not base a character on Captain Jack Sparrow.
* I may not base a character on Edward Scissorhands.
* I may not base a character on Barnabus Collins.
* I may not base a character on the Mad Hatter.
* I may not base a character on Sweeney Todd.
** I may never watch a Johnny Depp movie again.