If Oz was able to do it, you'll be fine. ;) Labor day has been good luck for me thus far, so I hope it was good luck for you as well. :smallsmile:
And I'm sure the cops totally think you went splitsville to avoid arrest...:smallwink:
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If Oz was able to do it, you'll be fine. ;) Labor day has been good luck for me thus far, so I hope it was good luck for you as well. :smallsmile:
And I'm sure the cops totally think you went splitsville to avoid arrest...:smallwink:
Keldzilla
well im sure the cops will know your exact where-abouts when you file a restraining order upon your return.
but kudos on the labour day lady ;) less is more i find - its a bit of a game, i know... but being TOO available can make you less desirable. When you return im sure you'll be on charm overdrive of course ;)
I have an . . . inappropriate and personal problem, could someone drop me a PM?
Bummer :smallfrown:
I agree with Cobra.
Coooobra: I know discussion of you has passed on a bit, but my take is this: We're not inside your head. We don't know exactly how you feel about all these people. There is no way to measure the level of intimacy you have with anyone. Oftentimes, romantic love involves a level of intimacy that one does not find in friendships. That's not to say you don't have that amount of intimacy with your friends. But you might not.
For instance, I agree with you about the friendship love. I'd die for them, anything I have is theirs if they need it, altho that generally applies to most people in general.
It is very hard to explain, like others have said. Perhaps I could compare my two best friends in this world, one male (Bjorn), one female (Karen). Names have been changed to protect the innocent. I had a romantic relationship with Karen, and have only a friendly relationship with Bjorn. Whereas I determined that I feel a deep emotional connection with Bjorn, would die for him, anything of mine he needs is his, I don't have the emotional passion for him that I have for Karen. Whereas I care deeply about the guy, and I'm deeply interested in his hopes, dreams, desires, etc, I don't feel as connected with him about those things as I do/did with Karen... And I don't feel a soul-to-soul connection to him that I do/did with her.
Does that make sense?
Speaking of those things, my new girlfriend is not my old girlfriend. While I feel really relaxed and like I have a lot in common with the new girl, she's not the person I shared three years of my life with. Not that I'm comparing (or I'm trying not to, anyway!) but sometimes I still miss "Karen..."
Always open.
@DD: Probably just for looks if it's both hands. Watch out for a single silver band on the left hand; it's almost always one of those chastity rings. Don't expect to make it any farther than closed-mouth kissing if she's wearing one. If it's a single gold band or one with a tiny diamond-esque stone, that might be a promise ring. Couples who plan to get married immediately when they turn 18 buy those for each other, although they usually just end up as projectile weapons during the inevitable breakup. If there's not one of those, you're probably fine.
I do know a girl who wears rings unlike any I've described on all of her non-thumb fingers and insists one is a chastity ring, but her wardrobe of Young Life and FCA t-shirts are a much clearer signal than any ring. Remember that she doesn't need to be a specific religion to have one of those types of ring. Pretty much every major religion preaches abstinence before marriage, and even nonreligious people tend to look down on promiscuity.
Sorry for the delayed description, Cobra. Skywalker just jogged my memory.
He makes a good point. I have C, my best friend since I was 11 (so about 11 years now), and Oz, the boyfriend. C is my sister in all but blood, if something happened to her I'd be absolutely devestated and I hate that she is in Iraq right now. Part of me would die with her if something were to happen.
With Oz it's a little bit different. There is a...connection I don't share with C or any of my other friends. A feeling of 'getting' each other on a level more than understanding, like we share the same path in life. It's not that he IS my life but more that he's an integral part and meant to be in it in a closer capacity and more tied to it than anyone else. The only real way I have of describing it is a level of intimacy not shared with others. We just...get each other. I can usually understand C really well, and she I, but with him...it's just natural. We just get it.
This one is a doozy:
OK, so Ive finally decided to start dating, after many years of hesitation, so Im new to the dating world. Unfortunately,the first girl that caught my eye initially acted indifferently towards me. Unfortunately one of my friends, who loves to play matchmaker started befriending her and dropped the fact that I like her(She thought she was helping me). Now that my interest knows, she's been hanging out with me more often. (which I take as a sign that she's interested in me, maybe?) Unfortunately the more I got to know her, the more doubts I had about whether this girl is right for me. Since we haven't started dating I don't want to start a relationship with her and then break it off a few days later. Although on the other hand I could just be having all these self doubts on purpose to try to subconsciously talk myself out of it. And on top of all that, Ive started to notice Other girls that i like as well ! HELP PLEASE!!!!
Belkarsbadside1: Go ahead and ask her out! You haven't been dating for long at all, so you don't need to worry about her not being the perfect girl. You're actually really lucky, because you've already got a girl interested in you. The hard work is already done; you just need to make your move.
Jalor:What should I do about the other girls who i've noticed?
I'm gonna give the opposite information as Jalor. I don't see the point in dating someone you're unsure of. :smalltongue:
It all depends what you're looking for. Me, I WOULD kind of like to find someone special, and I don't see the point in dating someone who I know or suspect wouldn't be right for me. Especially if there's some issue that I know is big.
If you're just in it for the experience....eh, why not?
Drogonrider: Gee now I'm just confused and am now having an internal argument over why I want to date people in general. AAAAAAAAAAAHH!More angst!
TPBM:*Banging head against a wall* So..many..different..opinions
On the other hand, I disagree with DeeRee, but that's just a personal preference.
For me, if I'm not sure, there's not better way then to date and find out.
But, you know, that's all up to you. Like I said, a personal preference. Like if you like blonds or brunettes =P
Haha.
I don't. :smalltongue: Want to date, I mean.
Speaking of...the guy who asked me to a movie last week tentatively reiterated it, in person, today, and I was so taken aback that I was like "Uh...maybe, yeah! Sure! We'll see..." cheery and annoying. He's definitely interested romantically. :smallsigh: And I'm definitely not. I...don't...really know what I'm going to do about it. I keep running into him in the dining hall and we have classes together twice a week. It's very irritating and potentially awkward.
Well, coming from the noob here, so please disregard my opinion if it doesn't suit you, but if I asked a girl out and she wasn't in to me I would like a nice, kind, rejection. And an honest explanation why, if I ask for one. I would prefer this than to a girl only feigning to be interested in me in order to spare my feelings
Really, it depends on what you are looking for. I dated a guy I had not intention of anything permenant with before, but I wouldn't now. I was at a different place in my life and wanted something different then than what I want now. Now, I'd not date someone I didn't think I could have a future with.
There is no right and wrong answer as long as all parties involve are aware. In the aforementioned not-long-term thing, neither of us wanted it. It's when those wires get crossed that problems in casual/dating relationships arise.
It would be easier if he were less oblique about it. :smalltongue: Like...he hasn't come out and said, "Will you go out with me?", in which case I would say, "Sorry, I'm not interested in dating." But this way it's like...I don't have...I dunno. I'm just a wimp. But we'll see.
You only live once, and no matter how hard you try, you won't get out of life alive. If someone is too wrapped up in themselves to even consider you, then you haven't missed out on anything. Yours was the courage for trying. Many people are so terrified of upsetting their own status quo, they miss out on the good ones....pity them, not yourself for trying...again,...again and again if need be (not necessarily the same person over and over :smalltongue:)
Well, you could always tell him you are dating somebody else. And so it isn't a lie, you can start dating me for now. :smallwink: :smalltongue:
See, I have no problem being forward online like this. Its once it is a person standing physically in the same room with me...
Belkarsbadside1, if you don't mind me asking, about what age group are you in? You sound about high school age. If thats true, then hmmmmmmmm. If you are a bit older, maybe college age, then its prefectly acceptable to date around. As long as you aren't exclusive (and there isn't a bunch of hanky panky involved), then dating around is like trying on different pairs of jeans. You keep looking till you've tried them all on (won't happen, trust me!) or you find a pair that fit you and make your butt look great. Be honest and upfront about it. Plus, who knows, it might spark some interested ladies competativeness, and she'll start showing more active interest. People want things that are desired. Don't abuse this, but don't hide it.
If you are HS aged...well, HS is funny. Depending on the size of your HS, dating around doesn't really work well because lots of people know lots of other people, and the maturity level just isn't there, and if you go on a date with someone, other people might talk and stuff, which may impact your situation. HS is dumb anyway, so my best advice is to have fun while you can, graduate, and get the hell out with your sanity intact. Whether or not that involves lady friends or not is up to you, but at that level they tend to be more drama than they are worth! :smallcool:
EDIT: DeeRee! Quit being a HEARTBREAKER! Go get cuteness reduction surgery RIGHT NOW before you break any more poor boys' hearts!
Yay! I'm useful!
So yea, you are just starting your senior year...well, thats at least better than being a freshman. Actually, my advice would be to date around. Go out, have fun. Don't get tied down to anyone, though. This will help you build your confidence and prepare you for college (assuming you are going....go! College is AWESOME!!!!!). Just do fun, carefree stuff. Hang out in big groups, rather than small 1 on 1 dates and just be active. Live, enjoy, learn. Just make sure you are always open and always up front about the fact that you aren't looking for "more"...especially with college looming over you.
Belkarsbadside1 - and to an extent DeeRee
edit: keld covered it best
dating and being in a relationship are two very seperate things - keep that in mind.
To DIRECTLY answer deeree - you can never be 100% sure of someone, so there is always going to be some risk. How much risk you're willing to take is a personal matter, but i can advise you've got nothing to lose by 'testing' the water so to speak, even with those people you're unsure of
ok... so...
need help with this...
A friend of mine, lets call him Bob, likes another friend of mine, let call her Jane.
So Bob is hitting on Jane hoping that she is going out with him. But Jane came to me saying that she is actually annoyed by his attempts and don't like him... And a few days ago.. Jane started to hit on me...
So... They are both my friends... Should I talk to Bob first about this or should I go to Jane to say I won't do this with Bob? :smallconfused:
I want to solve this... peacefully
has bob told you directly about his interest in jane?
and do you actually want to be involved with jane?
and why has jane come to you about it rather than just saying to bob "i know you're interested, but no thanks"?
no, he hasn't, but its pretty obvious since he is hitting on her and asking her out :smallconfused:
no, I don't... of course there is the lust.. but I'm not going to be with her. Bros before hoes.
Well... She isn't Bob's friend. And she is my friend. And I think she don't really want to hurt his feelings cuz he is a nice guy.
well then my advice is this:
her problem with bob is hers to resolve. She's just gunna have to man up say "sorry im not interested" next time he asks her out. It may hurt his feelings in the short term, but it will stop him asking her out.
As for her hitting on you, as long as it playful, then don't encourage it. If she makes a move then its your turn to say "sorry, not interested"
as for bros before hoes- that rubbish is all fair and well when you're 16, but if you're an adult, and bob isn't one of your best friends (and i don't just mean close, i mean your BEST friends) then it doesn't apply in the slightest. The fact that your not interested makes this all a bit moot point anyway