Originally Posted by
Red Fel
Exactly.
While it seems appalling that you have to "sell your principles to get a job," that's (1) a bit of an exaggeration, and (2) the price of admission. Face facts - nothing in life comes free. You need to give up something. Maybe it's money, maybe it's time, maybe it's energy or effort. And for some jobs, it's a sense of self. You absolutely do surrender certain aspects of your person, at least while on the job, in order to get the higher income, higher job security, and so forth. You miss out on time with family. You go without getting a highly visible tattoo. You avoid long lunches with friends during the day. You're careful what you post on Facebook or Twitter. That's the exchange.
Now, let's step back, because two things. First, unless you have certain religious or cultural views, I'm a bit reluctant to compare haircuts, body art, or attire to "principles." These are things that may be important to you, sure, and are an expression of who you are, but they're not exactly core values central to your person, at least not generally. There are jobs that require you to sell your principles. Jobs which require you to put the company before the client. Jobs which require you to lie for your employer. Jobs which entail being instrumental in the eviction or firing of others. Jobs which require you to say no to people in need. Those are jobs where your principles are tested. Getting a haircut or covering up your tattoos or what-have-you isn't generally like that.
Second, as Taffy points out, it's a voluntary exchange. There are jobs where they don't care about these things. There are jobs that don't care about your hair or tattoos, that don't care about your Facebook posts or whether you drink during the day. There are jobs where, because you're working part-time or flex-schedule, you can spend more time with your family - but you're probably not earning as much, or a pension, or benefits. There are jobs where you don't have to wear a suit every day, but you're probably not earning suit-job money. It's an exchange, and if other options are available to you, it's an exchange you can take or leave.
There are people who don't even realize it. I've read articles about high-power executives, lawyers, accountants, who don't even realize the exchange has happened. They give more and more of themselves to the firm, lose more and more freedom and time with family, and in exchange receive higher salary, bigger benefits, a nicer office, more respect and esteem in the organization, and they don't understand that. They go to therapists and say that they wish that they could have more time to see their kids, time to relax on the beach, vacation, something. They don't realize that all they have to do is give up the benefits. All they have to do is talk to their higher-ups about cutting their hours, or even leave the firm and join a smaller practice with less work to be done. They don't see it, because they never saw the exchange happening - from their perspective, it simply happened.
But it is always an exchange. Always. We give up pieces of ourselves to get what we want in the world. Maybe it's a haircut. Maybe it's a friendship. Maybe it's poker night. Maybe it's little Sally's recital. Everything is an exchange, everything a cost-benefit analysis. And the line falls where you say it does, not where anyone else says.
And if you say, "My hair defines me, I won't cut it for a job," that's your choice. That's where you've drawn the line. But you cannot then complain about the opportunities you have rejected for that reason. If I choose to walk instead of drive my car, I can't complain when I get to my destination late; if I choose to drive a fancy car instead of an economy car, I can't complain about the cost. I made my choices, I saw what was important to me and I paid the cost. That's life.