like whoa, this a little disturbing. And this is why I try to stay out of the mating and fertility discussions. by the way where the heck do you learn all this stuff?
They are certainly more of an r- than a K-species.
A higher proportion of sperm make it to the egg. And a lower proportion of fertilizations end in a miscarriage.
Don't we know the answer to the first question?
:vaarsuvius: I would fight for her with every ounce of my considerable magical power.
Or something like that. Otherwise I think they'd seek out a marriage counselor. :belkar:? :smallbiggrin:
One year cleverer and sneakier! One year crackier!
I don't have the internal filter appropriate for an American forum! Thanks.
Grand Larcener? Que?
That's part of what my science event was about. :smallsmile:
Yes. Yes we do.Quote:
Don't we know the answer to the first question?
:vaarsuvius: I would fight for her with every ounce of my considerable magical power.
Or something like that. Otherwise I think they'd seek out a marriage counselor. :belkar:? :smallbiggrin:
Good.Quote:
I don't have the internal filter appropriate for an American forum! Thanks.
Grand Larcener? Que?
The Grand Larcener who tried to assassinate Hinjo. Remember?
Wasn't that Kobuta? Personally I'd prefer Therkla/Crystal, but I'm pervy that way.
Edit: Ahhh... the guy Belkar killed? Why not? Why not indeed?
I dunno, could have been Comparative Animal Physiology, could have Test Animal Knowledge, could have been my personal nosiness. Like Coffee, I read obsessively.
Well, we know that she wouldn't take it lying down, but what would she do? Lash out at Reddy? Lash out at the woman she thought he was sleeping with? Get angry? Get upset? Demand that he cease cheating and figure that's the end of it? What?
And how would they deal with a marriage counselor? I don't see them being too eager to let someone else know about their problems, and I don't see a lot of available counselors who are willing to help an elf/goblin couple (especially if the man involved is a goblin).
(Although, maybe a lecture from Belkar would be enough to knock them back to their senses. You know that you've hit rock-bottom when Belkar of all people scolds you about how good you have it and how badly you're screwing it up.)
That's nothing. You should see what the bees do. :smalleek:
(Bugs in general have fascinating if somewhat horrifying reproductive equipment...)
But anyway, I don't see what's so disturbing about it. (That actually sounds awesome to me, but that may just be me...) It's fascinating.
I knew there was a reason I liked hanging with you both. :>
Happy birthday, Water-Smurf!
Now where is that depressing comic people always post...
IIRC, more active sperm is more likely to fertilise the egg. Polygamous species tend to produce more active sperm: there's more competition.
You know what's even more disturbing, following this line of thought? Khajiit from the Elder Scrolls games. There's this one in-game book that's uncensored in the earlier games... :smalleek:
It's the kind of thing that sticks in your head. Especially if, like me, you compulsively read anything put in front of you.
Also, ducks are worse.
Or...
:belkar:: Way to go, Reddy! Get some action back into your life.
:redcloak:: ...Your approval fills me with shame.
:roy:: Hey! That's my line!
Thank you! :D
Eh?Quote:
Now where is that depressing comic people always post...
I don't care what ducks do. The bees trump them. And ants are a close second.Quote:
It's the kind of thing that sticks in your head. Especially if, like me, you compulsively read anything put in front of you.
Also, ducks are worse.
*laughs* I could actually see that happening.Quote:
Or...
:belkar:: Way to go, Reddy! Get some action back into your life.
:redcloak:: ...Your approval fills me with shame.
:roy:: Hey! That's my line!
But seriously, if it wasn't all just in V's head, under what circumstances do you think Redcloak would have an affair?
Ooh, happy birthday!
I don't know that he would... unless there's a compulsion spell that can break your inner belief.
happy birthday water smurf. We hoep you have a great day,
Happy Birthday, Water Smurf! Your birthday actually coaxed me out of lurk-dom. >.> Thank you for the wonderful crack (stories), and please continue to write! Your stories just flow, and are easy to read, and make the reader feel emotionally attached to your characters!! :)
I knew this. Then again, I want to be a veterinarian. I already have several ranks in Knowledge (Nature). :smalltongue:
I knew this too. :smalltongue:Quote:
Also, ducks are worse.
V would end up furious at the both of them.Quote:
Well, we know that she wouldn't take it lying down, but what would she do? Lash out at Reddy? Lash out at the woman she thought he was sleeping with? Get angry? Get upset? Demand that he cease cheating and figure that's the end of it? What?
Too true.Quote:
(Although, maybe a lecture from Belkar would be enough to knock them back to their senses. You know that you've hit rock-bottom when Belkar of all people scolds you about how good you have it and how badly you're screwing it up.)
How about both? :smallwink: (It'll have to wait until I finish my homework though.)Quote:
Wasn't that Kobuta? Personally I'd prefer Therkla/Crystal, but I'm pervy that way.
EDIT: Welcome, Rattine!
Interesting start to a new story, Sereg. I hope to see more soon.
Nice mini-documentary you wrote there, Coffee! :smallamused: Sorry about your bad first experience with X-rated literature. :smallfrown:
Anyway, happy Birthday, Water-smurf! Here's the first installment (I think there'll be three or four by the time I'm done; I would've done it all at once, but my computer had a virus and I couldn't do anything yesterday) of a little AulaxTiberiusxAarindarius story:
Spoiler
Tiberius and Aula were celebrating their three-month wedding anniversary. Most elves didn’t, but, most elves didn’t need an excuse to buy new toys, break out their best wine, and throw a twenty-four-hour party for two. (For that matter, Tiberius and Aula didn’t need an excuse either, but it’s always nice to celebrate an occasion you’ve decided to make special.)
“Just wait until you see what this darling little device does,” Aula was saying, reaching into a discreetly plain shopping bag, when there was a knock at the front door. “Come in and join the fun!” Aula called toward the front of the house without so much as looking around.
“It’s me,” said a voice gruffly from outside, “Aarindarius.”
“Then hurry in, already!” Tiberius shouted with a laugh, “Come help us celebrate.”
“You both know I’m not here for that,” Aarindarius yelled back as he let himself in.
“That’s what you always say,” said Aula, gliding out of the bedroom to meet him, “At first.” Upon meeting him she embraced him and flicked the tip of his ear playfully.
“Please put some clothes on, Aula,” the wizard said, blushing.
“Now why would you tell her to do a thing like that?” said Tiberius, poking his head out of the bedroom doorway, “Trying to make my life miserable?”
“Please tell me you’re wearing something,” said Aarindarius.
“No,” said Tiberius, striding out of the room and stroking Aula’s hair with an affectionate smile, “We’re celebrating.”
“Sorry to interrupt,” said Aarindarius, absentmindedly pushing Aula away from him gently but firmly, “I’ll leave.”
“We don’t believe in interruption,” said Tiberius.
“You should know that,” said Aula with a nod, “What’s bothering you, honey?”
“Are you still worrying about Dominic?” Tiberius asked.
“Are you not trancing?” Aula added.
“That’s not good,” her husband finished.
Shaking his head and almost laughing about the way they’d practically spoken in tandem, Aarindarius said, “Yes. Every time I close my eyes I see the day he learned how to make fireballs.”
“The rabbits,” said Tiberius grimly, “You told us.”
“But you taught him better,” said Aula, putting a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder, “Your students always learn so much from you.”
“He’s still Neutral,” said Aarindarius, “I’m worried.”
“That just shows what a good teacher you are,” said Aula in a conciliatory tone, “But you can’t treat yourself this badly every time you think one of your students is about to make a bad decision.”
“But now he has made a bad decision,” Aarindarius protested wearily, “I got a letter from him today. He’s joined an evil adventuring party.” He rubbed his eyes to stave off exhaustion. Not to be rid of tears (or so he told himself).
“Oh…” said Tiberius distantly. Ever since he’d started teaching a couple of decades ago, Aarindarius had always cared so fiercely for every one of his students, Tiberius knew that if one went to the dark it would tear his friend apart.
“Oh honey,” said Aula, grasping the mentor’s hand and pulling him toward the bedroom, “Come here.”
“Dammit, Aula,” Aarindarius spat, yanking his hand away, “Don’t you ever think of anything else?”
Blinking and trying to recover quickly from the uncharacteristic outburst, Aula said a little snidely, “I meant to talk. I’ll go get dressed.” She disappeared into the bedroom.
“Sorry,” said Aarindarius, rubbing his tense neck and blushing.
“She knows you didn’t mean it,” said Tiberius with a shrug.
“Are you sure?”
“I know you didn’t mean it,” Tiberius replied simply.
“I know you didn’t mean it too,” said Aula, returning in a silky purple nightie that was almost the same color as her hair, “You should probably get dressed too, honey.”
“Oh,” said Tiberius with a downward glance, as if he’d forgotten he was naked, “Be back in a minute.” He ducked into their bedroom and started rummaging through a closet.
“Now sit down,” said Aula to Aarindarius, patting the bed beside her.
“Talk to us,” said Tiberius, emerging from the closet wearing a pair of black boxer shorts.
“Tell us about Dominic,” said Aula, “And why you’re so worried.”
“Thank you,” said Aarindarius quietly, collecting his thoughts, “It’s good to know I can rely on you.”
I'm not as happy with this as I usually am with stuff I post, but comments are still appreciated.
Thank you, everyone! :D Man, I can't believe I got through this many years.
*gets squashed by kitten hug* *chokes from love* Looks like I don't have another one in me!
You flatter a young lady. :) I'm glad that so many people like it. I just hope that someone out there takes something important out of it the way I do with other works. As long as I've touched one life and helped it be better, I figure that it's a life well-lived.
Well, that's true, but what kind of furious? The 'blast away' kind? The 'icy silent' kind? The 'I'm angry but really really hurt' kind? Combination?
1. Many squees. :smallbiggrin:
2. I'm glad that you're actually showing Aula's and Tiberius's serious sides, an area I've neglected. (I'm probably going to try to give it a little more attention.) They're strange people, but they're capable of taking things seriously and not turning to sex for everything. You're showing them doing what everyone does at some point: being there for a friend. Am I right to assume that this is before V's birth?
Hey! I thought I could do the kitty hug! *Kitty hug*
And Happy Birthday once again! :smallbiggrin:
All of the above. Don't forget, V's an evoker.Quote:
Well, that's true, but what kind of furious? The 'blast away' kind? The 'icy silent' kind? The 'I'm angry but really really hurt' kind? Combination?
I agree 100%.Quote:
2. I'm glad that you're actually showing Aula's and Tiberius's serious sides, an area I've neglected. (I'm probably going to try to give it a little more attention.) They're strange people, but they're capable of taking things seriously and not turning to sex for everything. You're showing them doing what everyone does at some point: being there for a friend. Am I right to assume that this is before V's birth?
1. Squee is contagious, so now I'm squeeing because you're squeeing. :smallredface::smallbiggrin:
2. Glad to see that I didn't get it wrong. And yepper; a later installment will begin on their one-year anniversary with V being born.
Thanks!
There are enough kitty hugs to go around! :D And thanks. ^.^
What about after the initial reaction?Quote:
All of the above. Don't forget, V's an evoker.
Can't wait! ^.^
And congrats--you've inspired me to try to flesh them out a little further than just comic relief in something or other. Either one of my ongoing stories or in a one-shot. They do deserve some visible depth, or at least being something other than caricatures.
I'm glad that you're having a good birthday Water-Smurf (I think it's not over in your time zone yet).
Thanks for the compliment Shiny, I enjoyed yours as well.
Anyway, part 2 of “Body and Soul”:
SpoilerShinji opened the door of the catacombs and they entered the darkness. He was wearing full-plate but he walked slowly to avoid it making too much noise. He had retrieved his great axe which was now strapped to his back. “Why do you need to the armor and axe?” asked Tsukiko, “I’ve never taken anything like that when I’ve been down here.” Shinji raised his eyebrows. So she had been here before. “Aren’t you afraid of meeting undead?” he asked.
“Actually I’d love to meet some undead.” answered Tsukiko, “I don’t understand people’s problems with them. They are sacred to Rat. It is a wonderful thing when the dead can continue on in the world.”
“We do have a lot in common.” said Shinji, “Unfortunately, we adventurers tend to attract trouble, so we always have to be prepared.”
“You’re an adventurer?” asked Tsukiko gleefully.
“Not much of one.” admitted Shinji, “I’ve only done some exploring, mainly within Azure City territory. The city isn’t good for level grinding though, and one gets to meet fascinating people and have interesting experiences when adventuring. For instance, whilst I’m not the type to turn my back on my heritage and worship a foreign god, I’ve discovered that I have much in common with the worshippers of Druaga, Tiamat and Nergal.” Tsukiko listened enthralled by this man’s words. The idea of going out and bringing down divine retribution on the enemies of Rat appealed to her. She was eager to know what life as an adventurer was like. They had finished walking down the stairs and Shinji lit a torch so they could see what they were doing. “You said that you had been here before.” said Shinji, “What do you usually do here?”
“Oh, I haven’t been often.” answered Tsukiko, “I do enjoy it here though. It’s peaceful. I come to visit my parents and other people who don’t get visitors. Sometimes I look at their bodies. They are beautiful.”
“Those who see beauty in decaying flesh know the wisdom of Rat.” said Shinji, “I’m glad that you haven’t turned away from him since he took your parents. You will make an excellent cleric. Why aren’t you one yet? Do you have younger siblings to support?”
“No, I’m an only child,” answered Tsukiko, “but I’ve been afraid. Do you have siblings?”
“Never let fear stand in your way.” answered Shinji, “Never let anything stand in your way. You are going to apply at the temple for training and you will be a great cleric of Rat. I never let anything stand in my way. I had three older brothers who did not approve of what I did, but I never let that stop me. They’re dead now.”
“All right!” squealed Tsukiko, “I’ll do it!”
“Let me show you something special.” said Shinji and he pulled out a coffin before opening it. “He’s beautiful,” said Tsukiko, “but I’ve seen him before.”
“I’m not done yet.” answered Shinji, “You’ll be seeing a lot of him from now on. Necrocarnum circlet, crown bind!” His crown appeared to press more deeply into his skull and a second crown appeared on the rotting scalp of the corpse before disappearing. The corpse got up. “A zombie!” cried Tsukiko with glee, “You’ve created a zombie!”
“He’s faster, smarter and tougher than your run of the mill zombie.” said Shinji, “Of course, this is the only type of undead that I can make. You, however, will be able to make hordes of many kinds of undead who will serve you and the will of Rat when you’re a cleric.”
“Oh Shinji,” sighed Tsukiko, “it sounds wonderful.” She didn’t turn away when he kissed her.
Sheriff of Moddingham: Incest, pedophilia, and other things widely illegal are sure-fire ways to get this thread locked permanently. Don't mention, discuss, or write/draw about these things here. C'mon people, I'm pretty much begging you to keep things in the obviously acceptable zone or I will have to lock this thread permanently.
I knew it.
Look, it's not my fault and I don't touch that stuff with my crack pairings!
EDIT: I don't touch that stuff with crack pairings, and I never ever would, but I should have done more to stop other people from talking about it. I'm sorry. I know it sounds empty and hollow at this point, but I genuinely mean it. Feel free to pin the blame on me for not doing something.
Uhm, to get back on the acceptable train...I figured out the plot for Crystal/Grand Larcener (Who will be named Kyo)/Therkla. School setting yet again. :smalltongue: (I'll post it tomorrow.)
Nobody's related, everyone's over the age of consent, and nothing above a pg/pg-13 rating! See, everyone's happy!
*Starts sweating nervously*
...I feel this is my fault though. I feel like ever since I stepped into this thread, all I've done is mess things up and make things worse. I feel as if I'm the only one responsible for this madness and Roland's repeated warnings. Every time I try to make things better, or watch my behavior, I slip back into my repeated patterns no matter how I try. And even though I never wish to, I know that my apologies are quickly starting to ring hollow, no matter how sincere they may be.
I should do more, and I know I should, and yet I don't. The blame lies with me.
Roland, feel free to pin this on me. I'm the one who is responsible.
Aww, don't think that, Coffee! It's not solely your fault! Plenty of people were talking about it. Don't beat yourself up. =( *hugz*