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2010-03-01, 04:39 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
XDDD
That would be awesome-lets start a new thread for it!Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2010-03-01, 05:10 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
I
demandpolitely request a story in which Tiasal's significant other meets the whole family. Cowering in fear of her parents, adoptive aunts, uncles and cousins is optional. But highly likely.
I just thought of something- where's the MitD in the main Tiasal story?Last edited by Symmys; 2010-03-01 at 05:10 PM.
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2010-03-01, 05:14 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2010-03-01, 05:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
My webcomic!
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Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
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2010-03-01, 05:30 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
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2010-03-01, 06:12 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Somehow, I'm not surprised.
Okay, now I really want to write this. :>
Who knows? Maybe one of the kids Reddy and V have will be a little more revealing about their full ancestry.
Evidently, the only effective contraceptive is to actually want children.Last edited by Zanaril; 2010-03-01 at 06:15 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
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2010-03-01, 06:17 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
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Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-03-01, 06:39 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Exactly.
I put a lot of thought into this. I mean, I have to think of something while I'm tossing and turning at night.
And from this, you'll have another entire story weaving itself in my head.
I should know. That's what happened with Murphy's Law. And I've already got the threads for a sequel appearing out of nowhere as of today...
That's an understatement, just so you know.
That trope in particular squicks me out so badly... Did I mention that B and his sister are twins? And that his sister is my friend? And I'm straight?
It took me a bit to work through associating the family members in my story with my actual family members. After you do that, you can go hog-wild without squicking yourself.
Incest and pedophilia are your main squicks. Not exactly uncommon ones...
Huh. I may use that explanation once Vaarsuvius gets pregnant the fourth time while using contraceptives properly. Reddy will have to have questions at some point...
One thread per topic. We're skating on thin ice--I doubt that Roland would appreciate having to deal with two crack threads.
*laughs* I'll see what I can do once I've gone through a bit of my to-do list.
I just thought of something- where's the MitD in the main Tiasal story?
That's actually a source of contention between the families. Aula and Tiberius aren't aware of it, but the wife in the situation knows about Aula's (or the town whore, as she likes to call her) and her husband's affair, and wonders if Vaarsuvius belongs to her husband. (She knows that Aula 'sleeps around,' and she already thinks she's a floozy, but she doesn't quite understand the scope of it and the relatively low chance it is that her husband is Suvie's dad.) And she's not at all happy. She knows that Aula and her husband (and Tiberius sometimes) sleep together every now and again after she and her husband (God, I really need to give them names) have a bad fight.
She also has her suspicions about what her son did. She saw Vaarsuvius slip into Aegidius's basement while she was helping Aegidius's grieving parents clear out his room, she heard some sounds that she actively kept the mourners from hearing, and she saw an obviously beaten Vaarsuvius leave about an hour and a half later, still retying her robe.
She made her son's favorite meal that night and let him have seconds of dessert.
It would be amusing if V turned out to be half-goblin.
Evidently, the only effective contraceptive is to actually want children.
Edit: Oh, and I saw the psychiatrist today. He's recommending low-dose pills to take the edge off things. I'm just a (long, arduous) conversation away from possibly getting better.Last edited by Water-Smurf; 2010-03-01 at 06:45 PM.
Spoiler
The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story
Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.
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2010-03-01, 06:43 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2010
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- Usaki City, Syona
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
No, i mean for the nature documentary style things. It's not pairings. XD
Hmm, MitD needs to show up more. (nodnod)
...MitD/O-chul?Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
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Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2010-03-01, 06:54 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Explicit incest/twincest stories are for people who don't have siblings or twins.
Incest and pedophilia are your main squicks. Not exactly uncommon ones...
Huh. I may use that explanation once Vaarsuvius gets pregnant the fourth time while using contraceptives properly. Reddy will have to have questions at some point...
That's actually a source of contention between the families. Aula and Tiberius aren't aware of it, but the wife in the situation knows about Aula's (or the town whore, as she likes to call her) and her husband's affair, and wonders if Vaarsuvius belongs to her husband. (She knows that Aula 'sleeps around,' and she already thinks she's a floozy, but she doesn't quite understand the scope of it and the relatively low chance it is that her husband is Suvie's dad.) And she's not at all happy. She knows that Aula and her husband (and Tiberius sometimes) sleep together every now and again after she and her husband (God, I really need to give them names) have a bad fight.
She also has her suspicions about what her son did. She saw Vaarsuvius slip into Aegidius's basement while she was helping Aegidius's grieving parents clear out his room, she heard some sounds that she actively kept the mourners from hearing, and she saw an obviously beaten Vaarsuvius leave about an hour and a half later, still retying her robe.
She made her son's favorite meal that night and let him have seconds of dessert.
Maybe Reddy's family would be more receptive? (That would probably make Tia only one quarter elf...)
Edit: Oh, and I saw the psychiatrist today. He's recommending low-dose pills to take the edge off things. I'm just a (long, arduous) conversation away from possibly getting better.My webcomic!
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2010-03-01, 06:57 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
How about the fact that she gives off the right hormones for Reddy to react to? ;P
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2010-03-01, 07:22 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2010-03-01, 11:29 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
I just remembered my first exposure to this, and it was horrifying, and feel free to use it as the basis for a crack pairing.
So I was eleven, and you have to realize that I was one of the most innocent people in middle school. (I've become more depraved since then, but I'm still very childish. )
In any case, in the middle school library, I was reading a book by Robert Cormier. You have to realize that I. Read. EVERYTHING I CAN GET MY HANDS ON. The librarian said it was a mature book, but I was sure I could handle it.
Cue explicit twincest scene.
11-year-old me: Wait...What? What are they...Why are they--*Realizes what's going on on some level* AUGH!!!! *Throws book across room, runs to the bathroom, and dunks head in sink*Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-03-01 at 11:30 PM.
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2010-03-01, 11:47 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
I can identitfy with that. Especially when I was younger, if something had letters on it, I wanted to read it. Though my fear tended to keep me away from horror. However, twincest scenes don't seem to bother me as much as one would expect from someone who has a sister. I suppose that I just remember that it's fiction. Or in the case of V x V, I just think TWO Vs, at least one of which is definately female *cue brain shutting down as logic would only spoil this moment*
Vaarsuvius allows me to fantasise about other fictional characters, but Vaarsuvius is my true love.
Hey! I am NOT a freaky elf guy!
I'm THE freaky elf guy!Last edited by Sereg; 2010-03-02 at 01:47 AM.
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2010-03-02, 02:05 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Vaarsuvius is going to have some questions at some point. I told you they needed a better spell.
That's actually a source of contention between the families. Aula and Tiberius aren't aware of it, but the wife in the situation knows about Aula's (or the town whore, as she likes to call her) and her husband's affair, and wonders if Vaarsuvius belongs to her husband. (She knows that Aula 'sleeps around,' and she already thinks she's a floozy, but she doesn't quite understand the scope of it and the relatively low chance it is that her husband is Suvie's dad.) And she's not at all happy. She knows that Aula and her husband (and Tiberius sometimes) sleep together every now and again after she and her husband (God, I really need to give them names) have a bad fight.
She also has her suspicions about what her son did. She saw Vaarsuvius slip into Aegidius's basement while she was helping Aegidius's grieving parents clear out his room, she heard some sounds that she actively kept the mourners from hearing, and she saw an obviously beaten Vaarsuvius leave about an hour and a half later, still retying her robe.
She made her son's favorite meal that night and let him have seconds of dessert.This post may contain sarcasm.
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2010-03-02, 02:06 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
This makes way to much sense.
I stoped being innocent at the age of 7 when my brother showed me my first mortal combat. And maybe all the horror movies I had watched by then. Hmm that was also when I stoped holding on the good guys in movies.Last edited by The Odor; 2010-03-02 at 03:55 AM.
Evil. Iam diffrent. Have a problem with that...
My avatarsSpoilerThanks To Dashwood for Spider avatar.
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2010-03-02, 07:07 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
People are sometimes just awful people.
And there would be absolutely no signs? Race is one thing, but the differences are just too great for there to be absolutely no signs in V.
Good luck. Hope you get better.
...Call me a ditz, but I don't get it.
Tee hee. ^.^ That reminds me of my first encounter with a sex scene in a book. Only I reacted differently.
Yes. Yes they do. Too bad they'll already have, like, four kids before they think to look into the contraceptive itself.
I imagine a lot of people are a lot less tolerant that Aandy is about their promiscuity. Village bike indeed.
Tiberius is pretty promiscuous and sleeps with his fair share of people, but since he's a man, they don't care as much.
That really is horribly spiteful and, well, just plain horrible. V's getting made a scapegoat for their own problems, and I'd bet there's other people who similarly judge V by how her parents act. It's the less obvious damage that their lifestyle is doing to her.
Spoiler
The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story
Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.
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2010-03-02, 07:55 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
He's trying to say it's a Fortitude save to not get pregnant (which makes little sense to me, as that would mean you have less of a chance of getting pregnant as you level up (although that would be true as you age, leveling and aging do not have to relate)) and that Elves take a penalty to this save, explaining their high fertility rate.
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2010-03-02, 11:56 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Hee hee! I had a similar experience when I was younger also.
The horror, the horror!
Basically, yes. I guess it would be a fortitude save based on your age, not on your level, to not get pregnant. Being an elf, V takes a large penanty to this save.Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2010-03-02, 11:58 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
But elves aren't very fertile with other elves, are they? If we accept CI's explanation of low sperm count, then half-elves where the elf is father should be exceedingly rare, while half-elves where the elf is mother should be quite common.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
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2010-03-02, 01:32 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
its possible that elves produce higher quality sperm to counteract that. nost human sperm are actually very low quality.
in other news, we should get back on topic.
Thog x Nale x SabidineAvy by Thormag
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2010-03-02, 02:44 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Biology lessons on elves? Only on the crack pairing thread! I am working on a project just now. No, I'm not gonna tell you what it is! Rest assured I should probably have it to post soon (actually I could post some of it just now, it's in parts, but I'm obsessive about having it all before I show anyone). I'll try and wrestle that part of myself into submission and post the first part soon!
Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
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2010-03-02, 03:01 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Yay!
People are sometimes just awful people.
Odds would be low, but there is still technically a chance.
...Call me a ditz, but I don't get it.
Tee hee. ^.^ That reminds me of my first encounter with a sex scene in a book. Only I reacted differently.
Why do you think she preferred to stay out of Ivyleaf? There were plenty of women whose husbands slept with Aula a few times, and they took it out on V.
I mean, I understand, but I don't understand.My webcomic!
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2010-03-02, 03:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2010-03-02, 03:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-03-02, 03:39 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2010-03-02, 03:41 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-03-02 at 03:42 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-03-02, 03:52 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Oh... Now I get it. :>
And if we're going down the biology route, then goblins are either very fertile or they never use protection, because it looks like they have a relatively high population despite the adventurers, and the families we've seen are pretty big. How would they be able to sustain themselves otherwise?
How does the quality help? I see it making a healthier baby, but how does it help fertility? (Forgive me, but my health classes have been severely lacking.)
It's difficult to understand sometimes. I try to imagine it like the thrill I get when I'm holding a gun and shooting at a paper bullseye (I got the bullseye without target practice), or the thrill I get when I'm playing Oregon Trail and I'm shooting meat for my caravan, only I imagine it without the lingering sense of guilt or reluctance. It's a thrill to have that power, and the difference between good and bad people is just whether or not you appreciate the effect that power can have on others.
How did you react?
It took her a while before she let me read a book she hadn't looked over again.
Hugely extreme, but this mother is very rigid, judgmental, and unforgiving, and that's passed on to her son. She feels like Vaarsuvius/Aula owe her something, and that price doubles each time Aula sleeps with her husband. V's rape by her son was a start, but she's been able to convince herself that her son should be able to own Vaarsuvius, since she's a bastard from her husband's infidelity (she thinks). There's a reason that her husband doesn't really get along with her anymore.
After Aegidius's death, her hatred of V becomes a lot less subtle, and her and her son's hatred has only festered and grown in the passing years. I'm seriously not kidding when I say that V would probably be in serious trouble if she ever runs into the elf with the molten eyes or his mother ever again.
How do you guys think Vaarsuvius would react if she thought that Redcloak was cheating on her? What do you think Vaarsuvius or Redcloak would do if they felt like they were drifting apart, assuming that there wasn't any Xykon or other threat making them unable to do anything?
EDIT: Oh, and cheers to my birthday! :DLast edited by Water-Smurf; 2010-03-02 at 03:53 PM.
Spoiler
The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story
Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.
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2010-03-02, 03:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
Higher Quality Sperm live longer, so more likely to successfully make egg?
If V and Red drifted apart? Well, assuming Tiasal, Red would probably do whatever he could do to keep them together-and V would be too stubborn to admit it. They'd likely stay together because they refused to fall apart, even if they were unhappy.Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2010-03-02, 03:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion
I would probably have gone the other way. You know why female cats have so much sex when they're in a heat? A large amount of sexual stimulation is needed for them to actually ovulate (scrubbed at CI's suggestion) - this could be a way to ensure that only toms with a certain level of endurance father her kittens.
So here we have a reason why elven females are required, by their biology, to have a lot of sex.
Of course, what you have already written in no way contradicts what I've written here.Last edited by Asta Kask; 2010-03-02 at 04:03 PM.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo