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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
418. If I am a guy, I may not play a female character.
418a. The opposite is usually okay.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
419. i may never play a lizardfolk ranger using a Senjid's invention* with cleave based build
419b. i may never charge with that charecter to a railroading army of goblins, who were supposed to die to show how the 'chosen ones' (not the us) awosome.
419c. i may not singlehandly destroy that army.
*a double weapon, one heas is a hammer of 1d10 of earth domination, and the outer is scimitar of great cleaving
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
420. As a Wizard I may not show up the rest of the party by fulfilling all of their roles before they get the chance to.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Welknair
Lolth must be your patron deity, because Boccob would be more appropriate given the circumstances.
Maybe this is his patron deity:
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
421: Not allowed to glue a key to a knife and claim to be a Keyblade Wielder.
422: Not allowed to throw other party members out of windows.
422a: Even if i think it's funny.
423: The old wizard does not have Narnia in his wardrobe, i am not allowed to try to prove otherwise.
424: Eating the DMPC in his sleep is not appreciated.
424a: This is why i may never play anything that can Swallow Whole.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mixt
423: The old wizard does not have Narnia in his wardrobe, i am not allowed to try to prove otherwise.
425. I am not allowed to cast gate and permanency in the back of a wardrobe.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Swiftmongoose
425. I am not allowed to cast gate and permanency in the back of a wardrobe.
426. I am not allowed to journey into said wardrobe and bring back a the skin of a Dire Lion.
427. No, not even then.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Grey McBannert
426. I am not allowed to journey into said wardrobe and bring back a the skin of a Dire Lion.
427. No, not even then.
428. As an epic level druid, I am not allowed to go into the wardrobe and wild shape into a legendary paragon lion, and have a homebrew feat that let's me talk while in animal form.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
429. I may not create rings of plane shift that only go to a certain wooded plain with lots of ponds.
430. The ponds may not be gates.
431. None of the gate ponds leads to a plane whose only inhabitant is an epic level female sorcerer with a special mass power word kill spell.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Saintheart
9. Doomspeak does not require me to put a green cloak and steel mask on and randomly announce that DOOM is here to solve your pitiful moral quandary.
Yes it does.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Megaduck
10. I may not bring puppets to the table.
11. Not even if they are really good puppets.
I have used a puppet to great effect, though it is mostly to drive players insane.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
432: I may not start playing this every time we see a black dragon.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
433: I may not hit random areas of the wall, and claim that the bombable areas make different sounds.
434: I may not claim that all players should be payed an equal amount if I took Vow of Poverty.
Some 4e ones
435: I am not allowed to build a Swordmage/Wizard hybrid who outdamages the Barbarian.
436: Especially if he doesn't have to roll for attacks.
437: I am not allowed to tell the new player that Vampires are a good class.
438: I am not allowed to tell the new player that Hybrids are a smart choice.
439: I am not allowed to tell the new player that he doesn't need Divine Power for his Paladin.
440: I am not allowed to talk to the new player.
441: I may not allowed to talk to the players, all my actions must be written on a note card and handed to the DM.
442: I am not allowed to draw obscene pictures on the note card and hand it to the DM.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
443. There is no such thing as a dire giraffe, therefore:
443a. I may not wild shape into one.
443b. I may not have one as an animal companion.
444. I am not allowed to make one either.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
445. I am no longer allowed to kill dire rats while in possession of an Animate Dead scroll. They do not make good pets, and wearing the animated head as a hat is not worth the +bazillion Intimidate I will get from it.
Very first campaign. Our DM gave us an Animate Dead scroll. We killed a dire rat queen. I animated it, wore the animated head as a hat for awhile, and called her Mr. Snugglespoo. He let me keep it for the whole campaign, but I can tell you that I have never seen another Animate Dead scroll for the past six years since.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
446. I am no longer aloud to seduce the monk with vow of abstinence. no matter how high my charisma
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Welknair
418. If I am a guy, I may not play a female character.
418a. The opposite is usually okay.
I object to this. In settings where gender has no mechanical function, it makes no sense that every single adventuring group has no females statistically speaking.
Hell if one gets to the prestige classes like the maiden of pain, and of course my favorite the Hathran. One can argue that females are actually MORE powerful than males. I'm actually yet to see a "male only" class in any book.
Let's also not forget the thrall of manchanthet class too.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Morithias
I object to this. In settings where gender has no mechanical function, it makes no sense that every single adventuring group has no females statistically speaking.
Hell if one gets to the prestige classes like the maiden of pain, and of course my favorite the Hathran. One can argue that females are actually MORE powerful than males. I'm actually yet to see a "male only" class in any book.
Let's also not forget the thrall of manchanthet class too.
Might have more to do with the specific player in question here.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
447. Charisma can't be my primary stat, especially if it should be my dump stat.
Really, I find it really hard to dump charisma. It's my favorite.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Morithias
I object to this. In settings where gender has no mechanical function, it makes no sense that every single adventuring group has no females statistically speaking.
Hell if one gets to the prestige classes like the maiden of pain, and of course my favorite the Hathran. One can argue that females are actually MORE powerful than males. I'm actually yet to see a "male only" class in any book.
Let's also not forget the thrall of manchanthet class too.
I object to your objection! I usually play/DM in at least 50% female parties. That said:
448. I am not allowed to object.
448a. Not even to the objections.
448b. Not even if I'm right.
449. Not allowed to derail the thread. It's made for the LULZ.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
450: That inter-party conflict is non-lethal damage. Even if the sorcerer would not know that, using Scorching Ray for half the duskblade's health is wrong.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
451. I am no longer allowed to play party thief. Spell- or combat-focused bards are okay.
451a. Because I am forced to play party thief in RuneQuest (the dice roll as the dice roll, after all), I must remember to always check for traps at doors and chests. Do not touch bricks or objects lying out of place. Do not enter a room, hallway, or area without looking to the rest of the party to see if they want me to check for traps. Always go first. Never go in alone. Always listen to their knowledge -- they would make better party thieves than me.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
452. Iron Heart Surge does not remove the condition "dead".
453. Or the condition "alive".
454. Or the condition "surrounded by incompetent fools".
455. Or the condition "has only two arms".
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Flame of Anor
452. Iron Heart Surge does not remove the condition "dead".
453. Or the condition "alive".
454. Or the condition "surrounded by incompetent fools".
455. Or the condition "has only two arms".
456. Or the condition of "has to meet feat prerequisites".
457. Or the condition of "can't be any level I want".
458. Or the condition of "isn't a god".
459. Or the condition of "can't wield a sword by holding it with my mouth".
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Swiftmongoose
456. Or the condition of "has to meet feat prerequisites".
457. Or the condition of "can't be any level I want".
458. Or the condition of "isn't a god".
459. Or the condition of "can't wield a sword by holding it with my mouth".
460. Or the condition of " not having Iron Heart Surge on ".
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Shadow Lord
460. Or the condition of " not having Iron Heart Surge on ".
461. Or the condition "Isn't rich enough"
462. Or the condition "The rest of the party is mad at me"
463. Or the conditions "Isn't immune to X"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
464. That's it, no more ToB for you!
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
465. I may not troll the GM.
466. The GM smiling is not a sign that he's trolling us. Even if he's grinning really widely.
467. In fact, in absence of actual trolls, I may not utter the word "troll".
468. I may not feed the trolls.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
464a. Iron Heart Surge does not remove the condition "No more ToB for you".
469. There is not a TROOOOLLLLLLL IN THE DUNGEOOOONNNN (thought you ought to know) every time our party encounters a troll.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1D6. I may not record my ability scores in hexadecimal.
000111010111. Same for binary
472. I may not base my wizard off of Harry Dresden.
473. Especially not Spoiler
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Harry Dresden.
474. I may not replace my Vampire's weakness to sunlight with Flaw: Insufferable Shiny Douche.
475. None of my characters may be based off Pokemon.
476. Especially not Magikarp.
477. Just because this is an Asian themed setting does not mean that my Ranger is called a Sentai.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
478. Iron Heart Surge doesn't remove the condition "isn't Roronoa Zoro".
479. Or the condition "can't cut through entire ships and buildings with one slash".
480. Or the condition "doesn't have the sword skills of Mihawk and Zoro combined".
481. Or the condition "isn't Fire Lord Zuko".
482. Or the condition "isn't the Avatar".