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Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Okay boys, confession time: I'm a munchkin. I enjoy imagining weird character ideas and then making them absurdly powerful. However, I do occasionally draw a line in the sand that I'll never cross. For example, Pun-Pun will never see the light of day.
But, that's not very fun, is it? What about those times that you want to make your DM suffer? Or perhaps you merely want to make those uppity PCs pay for splitting up.
All you need to do is pull this simple gourd from your bag of holding, point it at the target and say the command word for a torrent of endless hair-pulling, insanity-inducing bad ideas!
This is the fourth chamber for the decanter, the other three having overflowed. As we swam in the morass of crazy, we voted on a new location, and here we are!
[Any] Things I may no longer do while playing.
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Note: if you're going to use numbers, please keep the numbering in order. This means:
1) don't add sub-rules to previous numbers--people will think that number is the current one
2) look to make sure that the last post isn't a sub-rule to a previous number
I suggest using asterisks, though, as the first thread did.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*When the DM pulls a mind swap on the entire party my wizard-in-a-fighter's body may not be more effective than the original fighter.
*If my rogue-in-a-paladin's body is more ethical than the paladin something is wrong.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
* I am not allowed to optimize the entire party
** If I do so, I cannot make everyone halflings
*** We do NOT represent the Lollipop guild
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ksheep
* I am not allowed to optimize the entire party
** If I do so, I cannot make everyone halflings
*** We do NOT represent the Lollipop guild
****The BBEG Sorceress is NOT the Wicked Witch of the West.
*****She will NOT melt if I cast 'create water' above her head.
******The Druid's animal companion taking a wizz on her leg is right out.
*******And NO, I cannot 'ride the flying monkeys'.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*Gunpowder and fire elementals do not mix.
**Neither does sodium and water elementals.
*There is no NHS in this world.
**You may not found it.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
* Players are no longer allowed to cast color spray at allies.
** Or animal companions.
*** Or rationalize catching a building on fire with this spell by some paradox of events.
**** ESPECIALLY when allies and animal companion are inside said building.
***** And persuading the dm to let it happen.
****** Only to find out there was barrels of gunpowder inside the building and the dm is now cackling in glee.
******* They are also not allowed to blame the gun slinger in the party for placing those barrels there earlier when they helped him place said barrels that same morning.
******** Or just use color spray again at all.
* Players are not allowed to play half-centaur, half-golem, half-fiend halfling swashbuckling dread pirates.
** They are also not allowed to take underfoot fighting as a feat.
*** Or apply a permanent reduce person to themselves.
**** Or customize a rowboat to be a tiny sailing ship so it gets a size bonus to ac.
***** Then raid, and successfully plunger, an entire pirate cove.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Things I will never make the mistake of letting my players to do again.
*I will never again let the battlemind wear a suit made of pillows to a royal wedding.
*I will never make super optimized characters for half my players.
*I will never again allow any members of the party to date Thayan witches.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Malak'ai
*******And NO, I cannot 'ride the flying monkeys'.
******** I cannot literally ride the flying monkeys either.:smallwink:
* My character may not successfully explain how the main quest-giver is actually the evil one and the BBEG just an innocent(-ish) victim if this was not meant to be the case.
** Knowledge(Psychology), Knowledge(Plot Holes), and Knowledge(Basic Understanding of Cause and Effect) are now all forbidden to me, as are their equivalents in other systems.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Palegreenpants
*I will never again allow any members of the party to date Thayan witches.
** Circle magic can "enhance" spells, and only spells.
*** No, just no.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*I may no longer cast Epic Spells with a DC of 0
** Yes, even if that Epic spell conjures cupcakes
*Knowledge (System Mastery) never a class skill for me.
**Even if I am a Wizard.
***Especially if I am a Wizard.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Arcanist
*I may no longer cast Epic Spells with a DC of 0
** Yes, even if that Epic spell conjures cupcakes
*** Even if the cupcakes are harmless.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sith_Happens
*** Even if the cupcakes are harmless.
**** Especially if it creates more then 13 cupcakes.
***** the cupcakes can be no larger then tiny in size
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
toapat
**** Especially if it creates more then 13 cupcakes.
***** the cupcakes can be no larger then tiny in size
****** Not even when the party rogue keeps stealing all my sweetrolls
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*I may not convince a phasm to accompany the party
**Or convince that phasm to regularly transform into a fire giant
***OR use the fire giant/phasm as a mount
****OR Tie up said fire giant at local stables
*****OR sell said fire giant as bodyguard service.
******OR retire upon the profits of this business.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
****** Not even when the party rogue keeps stealing all my sweetrolls
*******May not wright an exploding rune on said sweetroll in icing.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Blightedmarsh
*******May not wright an exploding rune on said sweetroll in icing.
********I will however bake the spell into the cake.
*********Eating said cake is highly advised, as explosive runes will not detonate on ingestion
*A manual of Bodily Health is to be read, not eaten
**Even if biting through it would be enough to increase your constitution
***Expecially if im a Barbarian and Illiterate
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
**** If I do attempt to gain the benefits of a manual of health by eating it, I am not to force the party to accompany me on a quest for the perfect sauce.
***** The warm blood of my enemies is not the best sauce for eating my books.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MrLemon
****** Not even when the party rogue keeps stealing all my sweetrolls
* I may not research the spell [Character name]'s Knee-Seeking Acid Arrow.
** The target of this spell does not have to make a fortitude save vs. becoming a town guard.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
toapat
********I will however bake the spell into the cake.
*********Eating said cake is highly advised, as explosive runes will not detonate on ingestion
**********I will not donate my entrails for use in divinations after eating this cake, however.
*I will not convince the GM to let me buy a Decanter of Endless Flour.
**Not even though we're in the marketplace in the City of Brass and all the salespeople are Eefreeti.
***Not even if the NG cleric gets to buy a slave.
****Just no.
*If I am a NG cleric, I do not get to buy a slave at "fair market price" from an Eefreet "because I'm pretty".
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
* I cannot exclusively drink the blood of my enemies
**Strawberry Yoo-Hoos are also not alowed
***A Bloody Mary doesn't contain actual blood
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
saxavarius
* I cannot exclusively drink the blood of my enemies
**Strawberry Yoo-Hoos are also not aloud
***A Bloody Mary doesn't contain actual blood
****Alevera rubbed on the neck is not treatment for getting shot in the foot
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*It should not contain Mary either.
**There are no recreational uses for Flesh to Stone.
***Do NOT steal the necromancer's horse.
****Weaponized fruit is a privilege, not a right.
*****The Healer who wields bananas should not do more damage per round than the rest of the party combined.
******I lose my right to have bananas (IRL and In game) if any character I play has any resemblance to Soraka.
*******A banana that throws healers is right out.
********The DM trusted me to not build pink haired wild-men who can swallow enemies whole. I shouldn't abuse that trust.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jane_Smith
***** Then raid, and successfully plunger, an entire pirate cove.
*Not to ask how one can PLUNGER a pirate cove.
:smallbiggrin:
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sith_Happens
* I may not research the spell [Character name]'s Knee-Seeking Acid Arrow.
** The target of this spell does not have to make a fortitude save vs. becoming a town guard.
***There is no fortitude save against becoming a town guard
****Anyone struck with Knee Seeking Arrow gains it as an at will Spell Like Ability
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
If, while my bard is 'entertaining' the dukes consort, the duke enters the room, he WILL autofail all of his diplomacy checks.
The duke also gets a +20 circumstance bonus to his will saves versus my Suggestions.
I WILL accept the fact that I am royally screwed, pun intended.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Doxkid
*snip*
****Weaponized fruit is a privilege, not a right.
*****The Healer who wields bananas should not do more damage per round than the rest of the party combined.
******I lose my right to have bananas (IRL and In game) if any character I play has any resemblance to Soraka.
*******A banana that throws healers is right out.
*snip*
*****Even if it would be something completely different.
******I am not to complain when the person I run at with a banana pulls out a pistol and shoots me.
*******All NPCs are now trained in how to defend against being attacked with fruit.
Monty Python anyone?
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*I am to stop basing my characters off of...
The sound of music
Disney films
Music videos
"This one anime I saw"
The 90's in general.
"This one fanfiction I read"
Any of my own, personal heroes
Batman
Andre the Giant
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sith_Happens
* I may not research the spell [Character name]'s Knee-Seeking Acid Arrow.
** The target of this spell does not have to make a fortitude save vs. becoming a town guard.
***If the spell existed, which it doesn't, the save would be will... not fortitude.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Pokemon-freak89
***If the spell existed, which it doesn't, the save would be will... not fortitude.
****That assumes there would be a save, and not a propagation effect
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*The paladin in obvious holy armor may not attempt to bluff his way through the guards guarding the demon summoning
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
toapat
****That assumes there would be a save, and not a propagation effect
*****Assuming that there is a save, whenever the spell is casted on me I automatically fail the save and Die.
******Upon such death all contingencies fail
*******Yes, even that one
********Especially that one
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*My Warlock may not have more options available to him then a wizard.
**Or have more spells than a wizard.
***Homebrew has been destroyed.
****A new player has been voted the party Wizard.
*****I nolonger have access to UMD or Magic.
******No matter whatever role play I perform in game.
*******No more extraordinary abilities.
********My leadership rights have been banned, It will take a year and a day of good roleplay to regain them.
*********I will not point out that I am the only one that has and does use it responsibly.
**********I am now a permanent level 1 commoner follower of a randomly detirmined party member.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Erik Vale
**********I am now a permanent level 1 commoner follower of a randomly detirmined party member.
*********** No more chicken infested.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Morithias
*********** No more chicken infested.
************I am now forced to take levels in the UA generic Spellcaster class.
*************Said spellcaster can not have a mental score above 3
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
toapat
************I am now forced to take levels in the UA generic Spellcaster class.
*************Said spellcaster can not have a mental score above 3
**************Said Spellcaster cannot be a Venerable Dragonwrought Kobold
***************A Stat increasing item is out of the question
****************Asking for a Book to increase stats is just flat out No
*I may not Wish to re-roll my stats, despite clearly being able to do so at the start of the game
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*In every town, there is a town guard.
**In ever town guard, there is at least one epic level druid, one epic level wizard, and one epic level barbarian equipped with an antimagic sphere.
***I will remember that the next time I go on a maniacal rampage through the center of town.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
I may not have a Contingent Resurrection set on the BBEG to raise him two days after death.
Especially if it would be in character.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Doxkid
*It should not contain Mary either.
*****The Healer who wields bananas should not do more damage per round than the rest of the party combined.
****** If the party is fighting undead he is only allowed to match the rest of the party.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Incom
*The paladin in obvious holy armor may not attempt to bluff his way through the guards guarding the demon summoning
** He especially cannot bluff his way past the guards by claiming to be a seller of holy books.
*** He cannot aggressively try to convince the guards he is lying by purposefully failing bluff checks while speaking the truth.
** When he finally gets to the summoning just as a demon arrives, he is not allowed to try converting it to his religion.
*** Attempts to convert the cultists are also forbidden.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
* The Chaotic Neutral Tiefling Sorceress with 3 Fiendish Heritage feats should not be better at doing good acts then the Lawful Good Aasimar Paladin.
** That paladin should also not get to keep his abilities after deciding to keep a mans severed leg as a improvised club and using it as a tool to intimidate a surrendered enemy.
*** OR when the paladin breaks a promise to allow the man to live and shoots him in the back of the head as he attempts to escape, and then keeps his arm so he can duel wield human limbs.
**** Yes, the tiefling is allowed to kill the paladin at this point and become Chaotic Good.
* One may not begin a match of league of legends, highlander, as urgot with a dorans ring and be considered serious.
** They may also not complain how there lane opponent, shaco, has been so nerfed and is completely useless and boast how easily they will win there lane.
*** They may not later begin to complain how overpowered shaco is after going 0/11 against that shaco, thats ap, while stacking armor and dorans blades.
**** They will be reported even if it was a premade 3v3 when they act like a jerk and ragequit.
***** And yes, it does make you seem more stupid, not less, when you claim you have had 32 beers that day and you were not playing at your full capacity.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
* I may not cast a Permanenced Contingency Maximized Empowered Fireball to go off on my location when I die.
** I may not do this multiple times, with the area where the fireballs are to be fired staggered to cover all spots within a 800 foot radius of my body.
*** I may not proceed to teleport myself into the center of the enemy stronghold while completely unarmored shortly after slitting my own wrists.
**** I may not then complain when half the enemies survived because they are rogues.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*My familiar can't make Diplomacy checks by looking cute to make up for when I roll a 2 on Diplomacy
**Even if he rolls a natural 20 when the DC is only 10
***He may also not make heal checks by beating the person's chest with his wings
*If the dwarf rolls a Fortitude save to stay conscious during a drinking contest and rolls two natural 20s in a row, he may not tell everyone he's the chosen hero of Cayden Cailean.
**Even if he beat a cloud giant in said drinking contest
*the verbal components of Holy Smite are not screaming Holy Smite! as loud as possible.
*The command phrase for Ring of the Ram is not "fus ro dah"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Second
If, while my bard is 'entertaining' the dukes consort, the duke enters the room, he WILL autofail all of his diplomacy checks.
The duke also gets a +20 circumstance bonus to his will saves versus my Suggestions.
I WILL accept the fact that I am royally screwed, pun intended.
* I may not attempt to get out of this situation by becoming even more royally screwed, pun intended.
** "What, aren't you into that kind of thing?" is not a valid Suggestion.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*There is no Badass PrC
**Even if there where I may not take a level in it
**I can not make a stunning fit attack refluffed as a headbutt
**Chuck Noris is not a valid animal companion
**It dose not allow me to duel wield bladed numchucks
***there is no such thing as bladed numchucks
**It does not grant favored enemy (people who annoy me)
***Favored enemy (the world) Is right out.
**It does not grant summon (The pain) As a spell like ability
**Nor does it grant polymorph self (Ninja Dent) as its capstone ability.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*I may not play an awakened worm with way too much WBL and Perform(Sarcasm), Perform(one-liner), Profession(Worm of fortune) or Knowledge(Irony)
**neither may I ever have ranks in UMD
*No there is no Holy handgrenade
**No there is no Relic of Antioch
***I shalt not count to 3
**No I may not craft one
***Even if I do, which i obviously don't, it's command phrase is not "1..2..5"
***I may not have leadership with a follower named Brother Maynard
*I may not reference Monty Python, on pain of immedeate rocks falling
*I may not play videogames within a timeframe of 8 hours when making a character
*I must contain myself to a sensory deprivation tank before starting to make a character.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
**May not base a character off of the hallucinations caused by sensory deprivation.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Blightedmarsh
**May not base a character off of the hallucinations caused by sensory deprivation.
*** May not base a character off of the hallucinations caused by sleep deprivation.
**** May not base a character off of hallucinations, period.
***** Not even the interesting ones.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tuggyne
*** May not base a character off of the hallucinations caused by sleep deprivation.
**** May not base a character off of hallucinations, period.
***** Not even the interesting ones.
******Unless I'm the DM and I'm sending the players to Dal-quor, Xoriat, or the Far Realms. Then hallucination based characters are encouraged.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kelb_Panthera
******Unless I'm the DM and I'm sending the players to Dal-quor, Xoriat, or the Far Realms. Then hallucination based characters are encouraged.
******Provided they are not called Lucy
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
* while it is perfectly acceptable for me to name my weapon, I may not call my 5 and a half foot sword of fire and Ice "Mr. Pointy"
**My ranger that fights with a longbow may not do a called shot (knee)
***this does not make the target into a town guard
****Shooting myself in the knee does not instantly cause me to join the town guard
*my rogue may not spend all his time stealing sweet rolls
** nor may he steal Swee Trolls
* I may not create a wizard capable of benching both the party's barbarians at the same time
* I may not join a college of majic without any majical ability beyond yelling people to death.
* If a town is deserted except for guards and one or two unkillable NPCs I may not consider this a success
* I may not duel wield shields and rely entirely on shield bashes for my damage output
* placing a cauldron over someone's head does not render them incapable of detecing me
* I may not question the fact that there are ancient burial sites RIGHT FRIGGIN NEXT TO THE TOWN! NOT EVEN TEN FEET AWAY AND NOBODY HAS EVER EXPLORED THEM IN THE SEVERAL THOUSAND YEARS THAT THEY SAT THERE!!!!
*Dragon is not the key ingrediant in any local cuisine
*I may not season food with money
*If I use a glitch to kill the BBEG right at the end of the starter dungeon I may no longer play the game.
* My character's name is not
-Leroy Jenkins
-THE GAME
-Kilroy McDeathenator
-Bob the Breaker
-Chml'thlgggpnnnch'chlch
-Nobody, (Nothing, Nemo, Sombody Else, and Guy Over There are also unacceptable
**Our party may not consist of people with names entirely from that list.
*My battle cry is not
-GOOD FOR THE GOOD GOD
-FOR THE LULZ
-WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
-BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
-FOR NO REASON IN PARTICULAR
-BECAUSE I CAN
*My character may be fluent in only one language, however this language may not be
-Uncommon
-Dragon
-Braile
-Morse Code
-Lojiban
-C'thullu
*If DMing a campaign set in the real world I must remember that just having a character that speaks a foreign language does not mean that the person speaks that language.
Example. Bob's character knows spanish, Bob does not. Thus I may not when speaking for an NPC say "?Donde estan los armas para nosotros?" and not tell bob what it means, then expect him to respond in character. (this happened, I didn't know that bob did not speak spanish and was trying to add a level of realisim to the game)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
eulmanis12
* I may not duel wield shields and rely entirely on shield bashes for my damage output
**I will Duel Wield shields, along with a pair of Animated Shields, in Mountain Plate. I will do it effectively
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
* Power Word (Kill) is NOT the word that the Knights of Ni cannot hear.
** Nor is Power Word (Stun) or Power Word (Blind)
*** None of the Power Words are common words in Common
**** Or any language, for that matter
***** Power Word (Kill) is now Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch, and I must actually speak it and pronounce it correctly if I want to cast it.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
toapat
**I will Duel Wield shields, along with a pair of Animated Shields, in Mountain Plate. I will do it effectively
***I will take the Ironclad prestige class so I actually get the shield bonuses to my armor and touch class.
****I will not plead for Multiweapon fighting to be able to use all four shields at once.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*The DM CAN revoke my gender and WILL if I keep up these shenanigans.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
eulmanis12
* while it is perfectly acceptable for me to name my weapon, I may not call my 5 and a half foot sword of fire and Ice "Mr. Pointy"
** I may, however, use this name for any Masterwork- or better- quality wooden stake.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Balmas
*In every town, there is a town guard.
**In ever town guard, there is at least one epic level druid, one epic level wizard, and one epic level barbarian equipped with an antimagic sphere.
***I will remember that the next time I go on a maniacal rampage through the center of town.
**** Complaints that the uberNPCs could finish whatever trivial quest we're on in less than a minute shall be restricted to once per session.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
* I am not allowed to redeem the big bad by sleeping with him.
** No not even if I have 5 levels in Silverhaired Knight.
(No I'm not even kidding, at level 5 they get the ability "consume sins" which just requires you to maintain physical contact for a number of minutes equal to the target's HD. Given how long sex lasts, it's entirely plausible for you to redeem the big bad by sleeping with him)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
**** Uber-NPCs do not follow our actions via scrying just to laugh at our failure.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
* My character can complain about seeing bad dreams every night, but said dreams can't include being forced to travel by train without possibility to leave, stop or change direction of the rails.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*I may no longer try to lick the random pillar of holy light.
**Especially when it burns my tongue almost clean off.
***This goes triply so when it turns out to be a planetar.
****Which proceeds to smite me.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*The Leadership feat is not an adequate replacement for buying rations.
**Nor is the elven bard.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
*My character may not taunt the BBEG's pet Minotaur Barbarian with a red handkerchief.
**Calling him 'an over grown milk cow' or a 'walking T-bone' is not allowed either.
***He may not proceed to fight the Minotaur Barbarian 'Matador Styles'.
****I may not then complain when I get gored six ways from Sunday.
*****Doing this while the DM just stares at me like a deer in the headlights because I survive is right out.
*My light Scout Mech is no longer allowed to be armed with the equivilant of two small sub-machine guns.
**Especially if this makes room for a stadium grade sound system.
***Playing 'Run for the Hills' by Iron Maiden though said sound system when I get detected is a no.
****Hiding behind the Super-Heavy Mech that looks more like a walking weapons cache while playing 'Die, Die My Darling' by Metallica when what ever detected me finally catches up is certainly not allowed.
*****Bringing a walkman and speakers to actually be able to play those songs at the table will result in books being thrown at me.