Well I looked more at your description of Kaela Mensha Khaine (trans. Bloody-Handed Khaine) than at the class you made so this is based on what I found wrong there according to Eldar fluff so you can choose whether or not to correct it.

Firstly, Kaela Mensha Khaine is not the Eldar deity of Blood, Shadow and Butchery. In the Eldar mythic cycles he is the god of War and Murder and he is the very symbolisation of destruction and violence.

Everything else until the description of Khaine is good, however the description of him is off by a bit. The Avatar of Kaela Mensha Khaine is a being with molten iron for flesh and magma for blood. In battle he wields the terrifying Suin Dallae (trans. Wailing Doom) in his right hand, it is no mortal weapon but in itself a manifestation of the god, a part of the Avatar imbued with his power. His left hand holds no weapon but constantly drips with the blood of the mortal Eldar hero Eldanesh who Khaine slew in the War in the Heavens.

EDIT: Forgot to mention that all information I have used here is from the 2E and 3E Codex:Eldar