1. This was kind of a legacy choice due to undead having bonuses to charisma (mainly to offset their lack of constitution), though I would disagree with your assessment that gravetouched are unattractive - vampires are undead, and yet are typically portrayed as urbane, pleasant to look at, and quite charming. Tangentially, I also don't believe in "charisma = attractiveness" - charisma, to me, represents magnetism, self-possession, and confidence. In that sense, a charisma bonus makes perfect sense to me. I'm not sure where you get that they were not originally free-willed (have I implied this somewhere in the document? If so, let me know and I will alter it). Gravetouched societies are actually quite liberal - the vampire barons and lich lords are usually unseen presences, present more as a constant subtle threat than anything else.
2. I gave stability to jotun already as they are descended from a duergar-frost dwarf mix, but I'll consider giving it to cogs as well - it makes a certain amount of sense.