LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen

[Kneenibble]

Kneenibble: Courage, friend. Courage is what you have when something scares you, but you go out and do it anyway. So you need not feel bad just because something scares you, the question is what you do then. Then again, if you simply have no reason or desire to crossdress, going out just to prove you're still willing to seems kind of silly to me.

Also, mmm... sensitive rabbi look.

Heh, thanks, but I really don't think there's anything mmm-worthy about me these days.

It did used to scare me, but it was also fun. I'd ride the bus, walk around campus and downtown, and confuse the hell out of guys by using the mens' washroom in heels, makeup, hair, nails, a dress, the whole picture.

What really concerns me is reputation and respect now. It's not that it scares me, it's why it scares me. Then, it scared me because people might have tried to hurt me. Now it scares me because I am a professional in a career and I don't want to make waves like that: the fear is of negative attention and humiliation, a loss of face. It's a sense of propriety I've developed that I confess ashames me a little.