My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread

[darthbobcat]

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I'll fix most of those. A couple are intentional. Thank you!

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It's a quirk of my idiolect, perhaps, but I have never heard anyone in real life in English refer to a sibling by their sibling title. I think that if I tried to put that in, it would end up inconsistent, which might be even worse. Sorry!

I know Twilight Sage is kind of jarring because he's too similar to our Twilight. If I could go back in time and change his name, I would. But I can't fix him in my own head. Really, it even bothers me. Maybe I should just call him Sage. Adoy.

Thanks for all the comments!

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So...much...comment.

Perhaps the city has a reason for being named Everfree? I dunno. I just thought the familiar name would help readers associate the fic with the setting better. From an anthropological (okay, bad word, but the closest I have) point of view, your idea is much more likely. But I want readers to remember exactly where this is at all times.

Celestia is currently the same size that non-evil Luna was. Luna is maybe a tiny bit smaller, but the difference is much less drastic. And, yes, Celestia is purely pink-maned. I should include that earlier.

When you use magic, and you're a freaking goddess, you can make it work the way you want it to, not the way logic says it would. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Okay, really, the walls are enchanted, but you gotta use the enchantment on purpose. Back when it was a military castle, that would be a REALLY REALLY useful enchantment. Now it's just kinda nice.

Morning Glory isn't supposed to be a sex spy. Sex is just part of her repertoire (and her best method for castle entry). She's a social spy, and does all that entails. I'll try to give her less sexy social work in the future. "Backroom politics" is really the area of her work. Dirty? Yes. Sex? Not always. Lots of backstabbing and blackmailing and double-dealing and stuff.

The fic is going to be a lot about Celestia (more her than any one OC pony), but the OC ponies are all important for a reason that will become obvious in...I'm gonna say 3 chapters. It might be 4, but I'll try to keep it to 3 so people don't have to spend as much time wondering "why am I reading this?". I promise, it'll make sense!

I'm sorry that you hate Shimmerdust, but the way you described her is indeed how she is currently intended to be portrayed. Total freaking space-case. Also, her affectionate word choice when speaking of her family is intentional. And, yes, other ponies will treat her out-of-touchness as annoying, because to most ponies, it really can be wearying (especially when they're trying to do something important). I imagine she will get shaken by somepony during this story. Maybe even more than once. Celestia help me, though, I have too much fun writing her to even think about marginalizing her. As for Twilight Sage's romantic future...you'll have to wait and see.

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Yeah, I figured. I wasn't saying drop Shimmerdust. Just letting you know that at least one member of the audience finds her annoying. Adjust her or don't according to your whims and the plot.

I'd find her less annoying without some of the pseudo-philosophical mumbo jumbo she was using to answer questions (do any of us really find ourselves?). She was better when she was asking if the books were reproducing and just randomly singing songs as if nopony else was there.

Also, as far as Morning Glory, let me paraphrase something from How Not To Write A Novel (a book I heartily endorse). When you introduce a character, you only get one chance to make a first impression. A character who does drugs in their first appearance is going to be "that druggy" to the audience and it will take a lot of effort to get them over that impression. If they fart in their first appearance, the audience is going to think of them as that farty person.

In her first appearance, Morning Glory made many allusions to political sex, an encounter with a senator or noble's daughter, talked about seducing her way past a guard and then did the same thing to Flash, in full view of Princess Celestia (somepony I'd assume you'd be on your best behavior for). I also found out later that she works at a restaurant that used to be a brothel. It will take a lot more encounters for my subjective impression of her to change to something other than "that sex pony." Just something to consider.