Another night, another raid into the vice dens of precinct 34. A horrible rat maze filled with the worst scum Equestria has to offer. The things that happen here are beyond the thinking of the average citizen meeting another pony at one of DBC's clubs... hell, if you tried this kind of stuff at one of Phoe's places, you'd get a nice pair of cement shoes.

I worn Derpkowski to have something other than milkshakes and salt-lick. She just stares off into nowhere with that look. Poor cop hasn't been the same since her partner was delivered to the station in a box. None of us eat cupcakes anymore.

The self-inserters and the like scurry for the back exit, but that's been covered by the other squad. Some will escape, but not the big fish. Keep 'em off the street for a couple weeks before they bribe their way out still hurts their business. Searching through the rooms, I hear a muffled scream and see Derpkowski's 'lunch' on the floor.

The manager was in the "Applebloom x Mack" room. He claims he'll have our badges due to his connections. He's not getting out on the streets again. I pull out my .38 friendship cannon. I'll join Derpkowski at the bar tonight.