My Little Pony XIX: I Emptied Your Thread

[darthbobcat]

A challenge: rank the following cracks on level of misery

PhotoShy
TrixieDash
GildaWhooves
GuardopoPie
CherileeTia

1 being least miserable, 5 being most miserable.

1) GuardoPie. Pinkie Pie would be his grounding character, reminding him he's more than the helmet. (in the metaphor of Robin or Catwoman or whoever his sidekick was helping Batman remember he's not just the mask).

2) CheriileeTia. It could conceivably last long term, though eventually Celestia would run into the Mayfly problem. This detail is present in all Celestia ships, so it isn't unique to this one; its presence places it above GuardoPie for misery.

3) TrixieDash: Constant bickering. CONSTANT bickering. But they're both ponies who seem to thrive on conflict, competition and bickering (it's the basis Dash's friendship with AJ, Trixie openly welcomes the hecklers for the chance to enhance her act). What puts this above CherileeTia is that I imagine this could be grating in a long term relationship. Eventually, one of them is going to have a bad day and want comfort, and the other might not realize this and keep up the normal playful banter until one of them is packing their things in a huff.

4) GildoHooves. For one thing, the anatomical differences between the species would be a wedge. And I don't just mean just sexually. Gilda's beak implies carnivory; Ponies are herbivores. Claws that can rip open prey can rip open ponies during embraces. Etc. This is on top of some poor pony having to put up with Gilda's personality... and some poor Griffon having to deal with the 10th Doctor's personality, as most fanfic writers write him. Both are jerks; different flavors of jerk, with different origins, but what elevates this over TrixieDash is that Gilda seems to like having things her way, and The Doctor is the same way, so the PLAYFUL part of the playful bickering would be absent far more often.

5) Photoshy. Photo Finish either is unaware of Fluttershy's wants and needs, or simply doesn't care. There are a lot of ponies who would walk all over Fluttershy, but Photo Finish is the one to do it the most completely. I cannot see the introduction of romance fundamentally altering their relationship dynamic.

EDIT: I can't judge Blueblood/Vinyl Scratch very well. I don't have an image of Vinyl's character to go on. Like, I know there's fanfics of her, and comics, and stuff, but I've never felt her as anything but that cool head banging pony with a nice design. What Blueblood needs is somepony with the will and ability to whip him into shape, and I don't know who the mare for the job is.