My Little Pony XX

[Thanqol]

Mind has mostly stabilised. For those who are interested in my thought processes:

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Bringing one of Charger's components, Ten Feather Quill, to the fore in a minor bit of thread RP lead me to go a bit too deep into character. This was a risk, especially how Quill was the first character I really RP'd as distinct from myself and the precursor to my modern thought patterns. Going into that character also brought back the memories of the tabletop she was in, and that storyline didn't go so good from her. Her life was just messed up, start to finish. And she was really bitter about it, and jealous, and angry - oh so angry - that she had to do the right thing and how it would cost her everything. The scariest part of that particular character is the nihilism; the tendency just to start smiling and laughing when things start breaking and going wrong. After spending all that effort mastering self control, seeing it rendered pointless just seems so terrible it's funny to the character.

The experience, mentally, was interesting. It was physically impossible to smile and mean it, despite attempting to do so. It was like having all your mind pointed forwards; the focus was absolute and doing things that required hard concentration, like editing and driving, became exceedingly easy and precise. There was no free thinking, no imagination. I'd describe it as like being in a walled off mind, cutting itself off from going too high or too low, with nowhere to go except inwards. The mind was sad, but was also resigned to it with that pitch-black nihilistic humour. The sadness, oddly, seemed to come more from the core rather than Quill, which she regarded with a mixture of amused contempt. In terms of colour, as SiuiS asked, I'd describe it as iron grey and dove-feather white, and any flaws covered over in thick, black paint.

In all, I'm glad I took the time to explore that emotion. I'm certain I'll be able to carry it through to some piece of writing I do in the future. Sometimes we've got to delve into the darker parts of our astral realms. Writing involves research in some really weird places.

I'm totally sane, by the way.

And thanks to everyone who wished me well.

And for the rest of you:

Eeeeeeeeee I got called out on the podcast by name! Eeeeeeeeee! I've been looking forwards to the next Derpy Day more than Christmas. Hoping S2 throws out a song as simple and catchy as Evil Enchantress for it too.

EDIT:
And really, I've listened to about 13 different groups of people whom I am otherwise Scootaloo for do podcasts and I find them mind-numbingly boring throughout. This podcast is not only listenable but it's really interesting. You've managed a sell on someone who legitimately hated the medium for what it did to his heroes, so keep it up Phoe.