So how do we break the cycle?
edit: Come to think of it, is there anything that can actually be transmitted to provide guidance about wrestling with this sort of thing or direct to a more static source of information/support resources? Or at least lays it out slightly more organized in presentation than a forum's back and forth of banter?
Or even advice for gauging the kind of situation lyesmith's friend finds herself in, so as to avoid jumping to stress-induced conclusions and instead have a slightly better footing for approaching it?