Wow... Charlieze is scary I'm going to say you've either gotten the hang of this style of writing really quickly, or you're more comfortable writing from her perspective because these are considerably better than the ones you've done before. I'm impressed

I loved the 'and your grammar is terrible' line. Priceless

Quote Originally Posted by lordhenry4000 View Post
The Mayor is here, with the heads of all three houses and what must be every guard in the whole place. While we were out, word had obviously gotten to the higher-ups that "Falca McDougal" was in fact Claaus O'Neal. His earnestness is endearing, but I do wish he'd keep his mouth shut in public.
Only problem is the last sentence here, I'm not sure who 'he' is. Is it the mayor or is it Claaus? Having said that, this is something I struggle with myself, so I'm not really sure how to make it clearer.