Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
I PRESENT

WHAT LIXIE DID WHEN SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN LISTENING
Thoughts below:

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A family of pegasi flew through the sky, shredding the clouds to nothing in their wake, as they wheeled and laughed in the torrential rain, and the thunder that rumbled around them.
I personally think that the commas mess up the flow a bit. The last comma especially, as it disconnects the rain from the thunder as two things that they're wheeling and laughing in. Maybe:

"A family of pegasi flew through the sky; shredding the clouds to nothing in their wake, they wheeled and laughed in the torrential rain and the thunder that rumbled around them."


Her flight tricks has never failed before, and even if they had, her family would catch her.
"Her flight tricks have never failed before..."


Everything else was fantastic. I thought that the tense shifts made perfect sense in that narration style and that the writing in general was very solid. Are you going to expand on this?


Quote Originally Posted by PhantomFox View Post
Silly idea I've had and will probably start working on: Essay on how to write in the voice of the mane six. For extra points, each character in question will be doing the talking. (Ostensibly on how to do a proper impression of themselves)

Good idea? Bad Idea? Stupid idea?
Would there be an aspiring Rich Little pony interviewing them?