A few things.

Jiro: I would recommend he instead state he'll surpass the Spirit King. Recall that this is Eastern, not Western philosophy, and is a bit more muddled since they're already in an afterlife. The Spirit King is an accepted "higher authority" in Soul Society (and according to some fanfiction is actually just Elvis ), so he's a good "target" for Jiro to talk about surpassing so as to garner strange looks.

Kyoki: This one has a few more notes.
1.)The bit about "blood hardening instantly" seems ill-placed. What does this sentence mean, and why are we learning it? Are you essentially saying she gets a 2nd Hierro of blood, so that when injured, she becomes tougher to kill?
2.)So, just to be clear, she can manifest her unreleased zanpakutou from her blood, or she can manifest a 2nd person?
3.)If in the "2nd person" form, is Ragnarok (have to be honest, another name might be advised here, especially since "Ragnarok" is a Norse word rather than Spanish) entirely separate from Kyoki, or is it an upper torso growing out of her back?
4.)This is less a question and more a statement: I think even what you've got right now with the Blood Abilities is too much (the formatting's also wonky; try making just the "move name" bold and dropping the #). She's already getting a very stealthy sword (stored in her body and all) and potentially a 2nd body. Several attacks distinct from her Cero/Bala as well? Perhaps look into creating some basic Necromancia (Arrancar Kido, though that's a very crude explanation; could someone link a better post description as I need to hit bed soon, and can't thread-crawl for it?) that do these, and state that most/all of them require her blood to activate.
5.)The bit about 3 arms is confusing. Where is "her" arm coming from? Why is only 1 of the 3 her original arm, while the other 2 are her sword's (well, still hers, but you get what I mean)?
6.)"Dragon coming out of her back" is vague; is this 1/2 of a dragon's body sprouting from her back? Is it an Oriental or European style dragon? What size?
7.)Why not make Screech Alpha the basic attack, and build from there? Not only is it more logical in order, it would make reading that easier. As is, the 1st line says "it's like the 2nd line, but better".
8.)General Abilities shouldn't be in the Zanpakutou spoiler.
9.)"Not very good at Sonido" and "leaving afterimages" are mutually exclusive. There have been...5 characters we've really seen leave afterimages in canon Bleach. Youroichi, Soifon, Ichigo, Byakuya, and Zommaria (or whatever spellings those are). The first 2 and last 1 are explicitly characters skilled at "speed techniques", Ichigo's the Main Hero whose Bankai is "MOAR SPEED!", and Byakuya's likely not far behind the Senior Captains and Aizen in the "Mastery of all Shinigami Techniques" department.
10.)Madness Aura maybe should have more "wiggle room" about how easy/hard it is to go crazy because of it.
11.)This character needs a general power level pinned down. Is this a Numeros, one who's better than a rank-and-file soldier Arrancar, but just barely? Is she an exceptional Numeros? Is she a Fraccion? If so, is it more for her unique abilities, or raw power? Or is this a character who could conceivably be working toward being an Espada? Because when you talk about her Cero, it mentions it being "very powerful", but the question is "in comparison to what?".