Looks pretty good. Just one thing:
Would the ability to set up a multi-mind network with Telepathy require LA changing? That is, to allow multiple creatures to all communicate with each other instead of just individual Cloudmind-and-1-creature communications?
If not, can you add it? You can probably phrase it better than me.
I'm considering making a Factotum with this, guiding just about anyone to do just about anything.