Quote Originally Posted by Pheehelm View Post
How would you feel about making some (relatively temporary) adjustment to your appearance at the request of your SO? For instance, if they asked you to:

  • change your hair length/style
  • wear a particular item/style of clothing/jewelry/footwear (especially heels)
  • wear a particular kind of make-up

how would you react? Where would you be happy to indulge them, what would be asking too much, and where would you take offense? How would you prefer they word their request, if at all? What are your personal experiences, if any, in this area?
I think it comes down to how a person pitches the idea of a change. If it comes out as "I'd prefer it this way," I'd be much more insulted than if it came out as "Have you ever thought of trying X?" That answer goes for both hair and clothes.

Makeup, no. I would get really insulted if someone asked me to wear makeup, because it would say to me that my face isn't good enough as-is. I think the reason why I'm so much less comfortable with changing makeup/lack thereof versus changing my hair/clothing is because makeup has a larger societal gender stigma to it. But that's for a different thread.

As an aside, I consult on my SO's facial hair fairly often (ie whenever there's a change), but that's both because he asks and because I just state my opinions. I don't expect him to change anything because I want something a certain way, I just state my opinions so he knows them.