Quote Originally Posted by Thrice Dead Cat View Post
On a related note, the Temporal Warrior is mechanically done. I still want to hammer out the fluff behind it, though. I may change the name to "Obsidian Warden," as the main class feature is Obsidian Gateway and its weird teleport-y-ness. I'm worried I gave it too much (and I'm tempted about throwing down an "Advanced Learning" class feature for time spells), so a PEACH would be greatly appreciated.
I'm here, I waiting just for that.
Peach for the Temporal Warrior

Fluff: Short and to the point, I didn't do better so no comment.

Prereq: Seem fine, why the exotic weapon ? I don't see the link with time.
Somantic weaponry I can see because your a warrior and a mage but not the exotic weapon.
Side note: A source for non-core stuff is always nice, somantic weaponry in that case, CW no ?
Also various adaptation would be really cool. Psionic notably.

Skills, Bab, Saves: A good chassis with full bab and two good saves.

Weapon proficiency: Exotic weapon or armor again, still why ?

Transtemporal Pouches: An original ability, not sure how often it could come up in game but nice.
demises =/= dismiss

Eyes-in-time: Where's that spell ?

Spellcasting: 3 lost level, you'll need some good ability to compensate, but from a quick look it seem fair.

Obsidian Gateways: That seem like a really nice idea, even if more teleporation based than time based.
2nd level: the wording about making ranged attack isn't very clear. Does both you and the target need to be adjacent of a gate to use a ranged attack, only one of you ? "as long as he (and others) are adjacent to one of the gateways"
Who's "other" the target ?
4th level: Now your thinking with portal !
How do you count the number of square of movement when passing throug the gateway ? Do you count the square that the gateway occupy, do you appear adjacent to them ?
The second part also confirm that before that the target of ranged attack need to be adjacent. So earlier wording need clarification.
6th level: A nice idea, but the limit to once per round is a little limitating.
For example you want to attack you'll choose the bonus (a free action) and then if your foe attack you apply the penalty. But then, before your turn, one of your ally want to attack your foe through the gateway too and it take the penalty (and probably miss). Would it be too strong if you could instead choose the bonus/penalty depending on which creature attack ? (allies gain a +1 or enemies a -11)
Transplanar warrior ?
8th level: Instant gateway.
I'm not sure allowing other creature to travel through your gateway is such a boost, for your allies it's nice but it allow your foe to reach you too. and if you want to prevent it, it'll eat your immediate action with no guarantee of succes.

The idea is really cool but I think it need a little clarification/simplification.

Mobile Spellcasting:: Again source ? That's the spring attack feat of spellcaster no ? If so it's nice to have and fit the movement theme of the class.

Unstable Passage: As written you can only use flicker as a standard action because you don't say it's an immediate action like the original version so it default to standard.

Temporal Shift: I see what you mean but it's confusing. You use the word target multiple time but it seem to refere to yourself ? In the same phrase you use both you and target. You shift from you to him in the middle.
You need to say what happen if a creature attack the shadow ? Can it even see it ? (strongly implied but i'm sure) Can it see the difference betwen you and the shadow ?
Very confusing.

Temporal Regeneration: You dedouble yourself but it's called regeneration ?
Insteed of spliting power point/spell slot/other daily ability why not just say that you and your duplicate share the same pool of ability and if one is used it dissapear from the pool and then the other cannot use it. (Yes fission does it like that but I don't really see the point)
Also you contradicte yourself if the ressource are split then you cannot have a paradox because each "you" posses half the ressource and can spend them freely because the other does not have acces to thies half of the ressource.

In case of paradox what's the percentage of chance that an inevitable is create and what sort of inevitable it is ?

A few example of negligent use of time magic would be great.

Lot of confusion for this ability.

Delayed Trek: A delay effect, that remind me of something.
You need to stat the type of effect (Su probably).
The first part is clear no problem there. After reareading it no it's not.
What sort of action is need to delay effect , do you decid when you create the gateway ? As an immediate action when an effect try to pass through ?

The second part less more so, why it's harder to reduce the delay than to extend it ? Shouldn't it be the opposite ?
Also as written you can delay an effect as long as the gateway exist as long as you spend a swift action every few round.
What happen if the gateway dissapear before the end of the delay ? Do delayed creature dissapear ?
Finally the example is weird, what's the benefit of increasing the delay effect as an immediate action when an effect try to pass through ? (theory: because the delay is set when you create the gateway but i'm not sure)

Living Nexus: That's one very good capstone ! No comment apart from those of temporal regeneration.

Fluff: No completed but the begining is interesting.

Conclusions: Hum, yeah. The ideas behind the class and it's abilities are great ! But it is really confusing and sometimes incomplete (eyes-in-times) I admit I'm a little dissapoint because normally your work is top notch. Still you time to finish so I'm sure that you'll get it right before the end of the contest.
Also a lot of your ability require swift or immediate action, a very limited ressource.
One last thing that may be more important, the class seem to be more teleportation based than times based, two abilities really fluffed to be link with time (temporal regenration and delayed trek, plus perhaps eyes in time). Seem a little light when it's supposed to be the central them of the class. Maybe it's just me.

I think I was a little harsh and I hope I didn't offend you, but I know you are capable of much more.