More glorious bull-crap From me an my party in the D&D feywild encounters. ...except for the watchman reference.

1843: Yes, in 4th edition, you can critical-hit and trip an Ooze. Don't ask me how*.
1844: I may not use "I'm pretty." as a verbal tic.
1844.b) May not literally have a verbal tick as a familiar.
1845. The Crystal Caves are not are extended gutters and the gutters are not full of blood and the drains will not finally scab over and all the eladrin will not then drown.
1845.B)Even if the accumulated filth of all their ghosts and oozes will foam up about their waists and all the Monks and Artificers will look up and shout "Save us!", I shall not look down, and whisper "No."
1846.C) Watchmen is not to be used as a moral framework.
1846. Oozes, do not have couches, and they do not sit on them while watching porn.
1846.B) Seriously. Jellies don't breed that way.
1847. Even if trained, may not, as a Renavant, use the standard action I get before my death save to make a heal check on myself.
1848. Even if her character portrait states otherwise, the flippy kung-fu Monk dose not wear a skirt, and definitely does not go commando.
1849. The party artificer is not allowed to borrow my healing surges and run.
1850. If a late character returns to the group, and then an ooze drops down form the ceiling and attacks us, it is not automatically his fault.
1851. The "Echo" ghost dose not need (it dose not need, a microphone (a MICROPHONE!), and while it's voice may ****ing (****ing,) POOOOOWEEEERFUUUUL! ...I am not allowed to sing that to the rest of the party.
1851 .B), Okay fine, only if I'm a bard.
1852: Shadowforged swords are not light-sabers.
1852:B) They are also only dark-sabers in name only.
1853:C) They are definitively not orange transparent chainsaws because being made of shadow kind precludes being orange.
1854: Not allowed to task the oracle to tell us the last diget of Pi.
1854:B) Or if the Raven Queen could make a sandwich so big, even she couldn't eat it.
1854. C) If I ask anything that means the D.M has to look ahead in the module to find, I am to give him aspirin first.

*Hit them in the nucleolus? Maybe sucker punch them in the Golgi apparatus?