Relationship Woes and Advice XX: One X Short of an Awesome Title

[Coidzor]

An opportunity to kiss a girl was dropped into your lap and you chose not to go through with it. How are you unlucky exactly?

Could've been an eligible lady rather than dangerous goods.

Put it this way: After ten minutes of unexpected but highly desired make-outs, it was the quickest, easiest and most readily-to-mind means of establishing the nature of our relationship. And, moreover, he at least certainly didn't take it to be me saying "you belong to me now! Mwahahahaha!", and he's the sort of guy (and I the sort of girl) who would notice that sort of thing

Indeed. Because intent does matter, which is what seems to be getting forgotten here.

If someone asked me that, I'd probably never look that someone in the face again.
I don't belong to anyone. yuck.

Why would you be in the mood to deliberately misinterpret the words of the person you'd just seduced and been making out with and who had just sought clarification as to the nature of the liaison?

So, my social life has taken several steps from non-existent to puzzling. I've got acquianted with two girls and am now wondering what direction to go to.

Spoiler

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First is a childhood friend I recently got re-acquianted with, and have dated her a couple of times. Last time we met, we had a little chat of whether we're going anywhere, and she said she won't mind at all if I keep pursuing her, so for the moment I have a green light. I don't know how far we'll go yet, but part of me really wants to be with her. She's boyish and plain-looking, but she's great company and keeps triggering my romantic side - she's in a similar(ly sucky) position with her family, and I want to give her a reprieve from that and see her smile.

Second is a new friend I met this Halloween. When we met, she was engaged, though contemplating breaking up with him. Back then, I kissed her goodbye, and thought that the end of it unless she actually followed through, though we kept meeting as friends. Well, now she's done it. She (rather loudly) proclaimed to me she's single, and clearly finds my company pleasant. I'm obviously not the only one she's interested in (or who is interested in her); I've seen her flirt with a good deal of guys, and she has an old flame in her ex-fiancé's best friend (awkward, that). She's also a bit flawed, to put it mildly, in that she smokes and drinks waaaayyyy too much for her own health. (Last time, I had to haul her drunken ass out of snow twice, and when I let my eyes off her for a second, she glued herself to one less-interested males who had to drag her home [poor guy]. Later, she came to me asking what happened, since she barely remembers a thing of what happened after we got to the bar). There are two sides to my feelings towards her: for one, I'm very attracted physically towards her and would like to plow her like a prize field, like Reluctance's euphenism goes. Second, as a friend, I just want to help her somehow. Watch over her and possibly keep her in check - see what happened priorly to understand why. She's just had a kid, and I dread to think what kind of a mother she'll end up being if she continues on her current tracks.

My gut reaction is to just keep seeing both of them and see what happens. It's entirely possible Miss #1 will get cold feet, or that Miss #2 finds someone else; but I'd rather not have both dump or hate me because I have feelings for both. I don't want to lie to either of that important detail if/when it becomes topical to talk about it, but if I'm to be open, how to do that without breaking ties with two great persons?

You have any guarantee that she won't just continue her lifestyle if you do start dating her? Are you OK with the apparent plausibility of her getting drunk and sleeping around behind your back and not even being able to remember it because she won't or can't take care of herself?

Now, it might be my experiences with the girl I know who is sleeping with anything that moves behind her fiance's back talking here, but, uh... DANGER! DANGER!

Being the "White Knight" hasn't done anything but further my friend's latent misogyny and untreated depression and help result in the girl becoming more entitled and having an even more overinflated ego because she can afford to get even worse and even more infantile with him to clean up all of her mess after her.

It ain't going to do you any good, and you ain't going to fix her.