Quote Originally Posted by Vacant View Post
Ta-da:


Basically, I'm arguing with the notion that one should enhance one's "lovable" traits, or the notion that one has inherently "lovable" or "non-lovable" traits.
Some traits are pretty distinctly unlovable. A person might grow to accept them as part of the larger person, or even consider them endearing, but they're not remarkably lovable traits.

For instance, I have a complete lack of rhythm. Me and a beat will only coincide incidentally. This is not something that is horrifically bad, but it's not really something that I need to bring up on a first date, either. Everyone likes to showcase their strong side, first, and doing so is culturally accepted. If you use the normal "showcase your best stuff time to go over your flaws, you are not doing yourself a favor. In fact, you're showing yourself as worse than you really are.

And yes, everyone changes. The key is to making sure that the change is in the right way.