LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

[Arachu]

Sadly, it didn't come out very well. OTOH, I've painted my nails :)

Ooh, what color(s) did you do?

Born this way rant

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I find the 'born this way' movement a little offensive, personally. The hatred and slander I heard (but mostly read) from LGBT people against Cynthia Nixon (who said that she had experienced male and female relationships, and chose to be a lesbian) was disgusting. She even explicitly stated that some people were born this way, but she was not. The most common comment types that I saw/heard were 'that's not helpful' and 'you'll never understand my pain!'. I wish I

I think 'born this way' is an acceptance crutch that people need to get rid of. It implies that we predetermined destiny once we pop out, and simply enables bigotry against a smaller minority - people who change over the course their lives. Identifying as another gender isn't wrong, whether you were born that way, been that way since puberty, choose it or just one day find it suits you the best.

If the biphobia I've experienced is any indication, you might experience some bigotry from the people who should be the most accepting. But I hope it all goes well.

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I have to say I agree. I'm pretty sure I was born with my gender (or that I developed it really early on), but that doesn't mean it's somehow more 'natural' or 'valid' than anyone else's. The whole argument is founded on the premise that we're somehow different than straight/cisgendered people just for having different qualities.

Besides, the implication that one 'can't choose' bothers me almost as much as the one that implies that you have to choose. What exactly makes the third option so distasteful?

So um... My boyfriend was cornered today in his catholic school, and apparently some pretty nasty things were said to him, but he just sat there and took it until they started saying rude things about me. At that point he started violently cursing at them, which shut them up. He did not get in trouble, but neither did the homophobes.

Several things are wrong with that.

Good to hear he was so brave about it, though. *Hugs* to both of you.

Yeah, the only real problem with genderfluidity would be in the case where irreversible treatments (surgery, etc) are undertaken. That's a waste of time, money, and possibly more just to end up back in square one, and without the possibility to go back.
The thing though is that I honestly don't think anyone genderfluid would manage to avoid thinking about their own identity, take HRT, and undergo surgery, only to complain about having made the wrong choice and feeling like they're their gender assigned at birth after all.

I heard of someone who had multiple operations once. S/he (not sure which one applies most recently) was a world-record-holder in about 2002 or so (though the record itself was probably given earlier than that). I don't know anything else, though. :shrug:

Unrelated rant incoming:

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Maybe I'm spending too much time in all the wrong places on the Internet, or maybe these places are slowly invading the space I used to frequent, but I'm seriously facing issues with several communities; specifically those that promote political correctness and safe space for minorities/oppressed groups.
There isn't a single day I spend without learning over and over again that because I'm a member of a privileged group (white and cisgender), my opinion is absolutely invalid.
That -ism (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc) is a combination of power and I forgot the second part, and therefore, that there isn't such a thing as a -ist insult/treatment against white/cisgender people, anywhere.
That it's absolutely not okay to use various words that can possibly insult oppressed groups, but that it's perfectly okay to tell someone "lol you're such a [possible nickname for Richard]/[biscuit Polly often wants]".
That women alone need protection, but that men should endure misandrist insults toward them - sorry, I forgot misandry doesn't exist - and that the same goes for cisgender people and such.
That as long as I'm member of a single privileged group, I deserve the dismissal and insults.
That my personal story shouldn't matter, and that even if the worse I ever did was using a bad word once in good faith - and accepting to change my vocabulary once I learn why it's bad, if I'm even told why this specific word is bad - the rest of the community can treat me badly.

I am getting angry. Not at any group, or even at any particular person. But I am tired of that attitude.
I'm feeling more and more that, being asexual - in a particular fashion that makes me appear as straight today - I don't exactly count in the big group of LGBTQ+ people. Maybe I'm just an ally who deludes herself. Perhaps there isn't such a thing as demisexuals, and I'm just extremely picky and awkward. After all, I'm not being oppressed because of that, just annoyed in various ways that straight ciswomen generally are.
But that is not a part of myself I wanted to question. I feel like that questioning only comes because of my frustration.

Look, I don't pretend I can speak in the name of any community that isn't asexual. I never did. But I'd like some respect. The same respect I'm giving to anyone else. Of course, I'm cissplaining/whitesplaining, so of course I'm seeing the world from a privileged point of view...
[Bovine excrement]. I don't need to be treated like [REDACTED]. Yesterday alone, several Jewish kids and their teacher were killed gruesomely for reasons that are very probably racist. The murderer killed other people the week before, people that were considered "foreigners" by bigots. The murderer is still around, and though the chances are very small I risk anything, he still killed people who shared my ancestry, just because they existed. Oh, I'm white, my opinion on everything is invalid? I don't know, that sounded quite like oppression. Oh, but I'm still cisgender. That still invalids a bunch of stuff I say.

Whatever happens, I'm not going to let my frustration devolve into hate. We all deserve respect for what and who we are, as long as our acts are equally deserving of respect. I'm still supporting LGBTQ+ issues even if it turns out I'm not actually part of it. Oh, I know LGBTQ+ people don't need my help or approval. Nobody friggin' needs it. I'm not here to empower anyone. I just love you guys, yes, every single of you in that thread, and others, too.
What I just want is a little respect. Spouting more hate in reaction to hate won't help anything. It never did. One party has to act civilized and understanding to stop the circle of hate, and I'm not sure we can count on the white, cisgender, straight and/or male majority for this.

Sorry, but I needed to let go some steam.

*Hugs* If it helps, I respect you. You're very supportive and well-spoken.