Quote Originally Posted by arguskos View Post
As I see it, there are grades to such things (this assumes the relationship is meant to be an equal one; that of sub and dom, for instance, would have different tiers, as would liege and serf, etc).

At the top, as the worst things you can do in a relationship: severe betrayal of trust and willful action to hurt your other.

Next severe we have: accidental action to hurt your other and an inability/unwillingness to admit fault with mistakes and fix them.

Third we have: invasion of privacy (this is a breach of trust, but not to the same degree as meant above)

Finally we have everything else.

Note that I don't consider any of this minor, just that in the tree of things you shouldn't be doing, some things are more detrimental than others. If you willingly betray someone you love, it trumps everyone. It doesn't *justify* snooping through their email, but it would *explain* it. If they call you on it, turn it around and say "look, I regret having to do it, but I would never have if you hadn't betrayed me. Let's work this out, let's make this right. I'm at fault, you're at fault, but we can fix it. Let's fix this." If they don't agree to make things right and to work towards that fix, then get the hell out. They breached your trust, they are unwilling to admit their faults and work towards reconciliation, and they may well have done all this intentionally. It's over, leave now.

tl;dr: Sometimes snooping makes sense, as long as you admit it was morally murky to be doing.
I dunno... I mean... I suppose, you do have several decent points. I just... bleh, even just thinking about that kind of thing makes me feel all manner of wretched. I think I'd rather deal with a messy breakup than a situation where I actually dug through my partner's messages and the like.

Quote Originally Posted by prufock View Post
Intentionally snooping in someone else's private documents is, in my opinion, bad form at best. Don't do it. No, there is no point at which it is acceptable. I agree 100% with you on putting the onus on them if you don't trust them. Ask them outright, say you have suspicions. If they prove to you there is no wrongdoing, fine. If they don't, you MIGHT still be right, but they might just think you are a jerk.

If this causes trust issues within the relationship, maybe it's better if it DOES end. Better to end this way than to have them discover you've been poking into their private info.

This does not include accidental information (they left Facebook logged in and you see a private message by mistake) or information you get through conversation with other people (NOT the same as interrogation).
Like prufock said, I don't feel that snooping is acceptable, no matter what the reason for it. I feel like, it's private for a reason. If they wanted me to know, they'd tell me about it. That's the kind of communicative ideal I strive for.