Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
I'm very ambivalent about the whole thing. I suppose I'd say it's only - only - at all justified if you have a great deal of cause to do it, but if it even gets to that point, whether you're right or not, there's already something wrong in that relationship.
I will observe, though, that several people have said that "if your suspicions are confirmed by your snooping, then your snooping is justified". But until you snoop, you don't know. As far as you know when you start snooping, your suspicions could very well be wrong. How can you apply post-hoc justification? That doesn't work for me.
I agree with Serp. I'd want to address why I'm suspicious in the first place with my partner, and try to handle it with open communication. If I can't do that, then there's definitely something wrong, and it's something that I feel is far worse than my partner's boots winding up under someone else's bed.

Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
I wouldn't be cool with anyone going through my phone or computer messages. I loved and trusted my ex but did I want her to vet every single thought or word that left mind? No. What trust means is knowing your partner probably has things they want to keep to themselves and letting them keep their secrets.
I agree with Succubus as well, especially if it were, say, things I possibly said while upset or angry. It's been something I've been working on, but in the past, I've said some pretty darn flippant, if not outright disrespectful and mean, things about my partners because I was angry with them for something while I was talking with my friends. Did I feel that way after the disagreement was resolved? No, because it was resolved. However, until then, if the pot is simmering, it has a tendency to spit, should the lid not be settled properly.