So, overheard mom on the phone tonight. Complaining about how terrible I am to one of her friends, again. From the sounds of it, I'm definitely going to not have a place to live, and as soon as mid-August. Joy.

Oh, and the guy I mentioned having problems with? Turns out the latest reason for avoiding/ignoring contact with me was that he's now gone from 'not wanting to hurt me' to apparently thinking my attempts to reconcile and suggest utterly innocent things like 'Hey, let's meet up at Gen Con and get a drink or something' were because I had some kind of crush on him and was trying to come on to him. I give internet hugs all the time and 'let's hang out' is a friggin' normal thing to do. :| OK, I've commented a couple of times that he's kind of attractive, but I've done that with other people too, and it's not meant as 'I want to jump your bones'. Gah. He's married, I know this, I know HE knows I know this, he's not my type, I'm definitely not his type given that he's a straight male... Urgh. Oh, the kicker? The day after he told me he'd been keeping his distance and avoiding me, finally, after I'd gotten to the point where I was frustrated enough to ask why, because of things like 'Let's go get a drink'? And ignoring/brushing off all my suggestions of meeting up to game/hang out/whatever at Gen Con? I saw where a couple weeks back he'd invited people to do exactly those sorts of things at the con if they were going. Just... What. How do I even react to that?

Even if he were single and we were each other's types, he's still the guy who kicked me out of a PbP game I'd been in for nearly two years without any warning or discussion. I hadn't even had any idea or indication that anything was wrong. Then all of a sudden, wham. I'm not going to pursue a romantic involvement with someone who does that sort of thing to me, even if he were otherwise boyfriend material, which he's so not.

Just... Gah. I don't even know what to think anymore.

I just wanted to try to fix things between us and go back to being sort of friends again. Now I don't think I actually can fix them. He's just not willing, and if he interprets my attempts that badly... I mean, OK, he phrased it as concern for me and not wanting to lead me on or anything, but Corellon's sacred blood, just that he thought that was what it was...

I just feel so broken.