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Was dating a girl through part of high school, and can say I fell in love with her easily. We were good together, to ourselves, and to each other. I moved away for school, came back to town, and things were different. We were still romantic a bit, but not like before. I chalked that up to not seeing each other in a while.
Then I became a long haul truck driver. I'm gone for weeks, months at a time. I get a new place in town, and tell her I want to spend more time together. She says she'd like that. I get into town, she blows me off. I'm thinking no big deal, maybe she got called in to work. We hang out the next day. I tell her I've missed her, glad to see her again, and was offered a local job. We go out, nice little date, long walk by the river, having fun like old times. She seemed distant and cold to me, not welcoming a hug, and making it a point to avoid a kiss.
We stop at a store to grab some cortizone(bugs eat her alive), and get back to the car. Sitting there, I hear her phone vibrate, and glance down on reaction. Notice another guy texting her "I love you". I'm thinking, again, No big deal. Maybe she's got another guy after her. I always sent her that same message, and got a smiley face at most, no response more often.
She then spends three minutes replying to the text. As we get close to our normal meet up point, I ask calmly if she'd met anyone new.
"Yeah, there is this one guy I'm sort of seeing."
Just like that.
"But I really like hanging out with you. You're a great friend."
Yeah, wasn't even going to tell me she's seeing someone, if only as a way to get me to stop texting little "I love you"s and cute pics.
I got upset, and just cut the faux date right there. Went to the bar with some friends, and drank. Pissed and moaned, bitched and whined. Felt better the next day, told her how it made me feel with nice, clean, polite words and sentence structure. How it made me feel disrespected, played along. She said that she didn't know I was interested in her that way*. I tried keeping a smile on my face, but it hurts. It cut deep. I texted her a few minutes ago, just the classic "What's up?". "Not much. Shoe shopping for heels for a show with my boyfriend."
Like, now you know, I can tell you. That hurt more. Told her I couldn't keep pretending, that I felt strongly for her, and "being just friends isn't good enough. Goodbye."
"Ok. Bye."
Please tell me I handled that extremely poorly and ruined a great friendship over a perceived slight. All I've felt was a twisting void in my heart and the pit of my stomach every time I think of her going out with this guy who, a year ago, she said she couldn't see herself dating.
I would love to know I'm the one responsible so this mild temporary depression is at least entirely my fault.
*Really, she meant it. How the **** is a guy who says he loves you, would give up his career and work local to see you more, and gives up half his ****ing diet not interested?
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut
