No one got time to look at my story?

I still have no idea what that first point below is even about. What's so obnoxious about my descriptors? What descriptors?

Quote Originally Posted by Deadly View Post
Grammar Nazis needed

So I sent my story II off to EqD. I seem to get all the very strict prereaders who like to focus on punctuation and such other issues. It's so tedious

So I need help combing through the story. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Below are some specific issues I got in response, along with my own comments.

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You’ve a serious issue with obnoxiously stacked descriptors in your opening pages.
What what? Anyone able to point out what "obnoxiously stacked descriptors" this might be refering to?

Comma splices. This is a pretty chronic issue, and you’ve really got to address it.
Ah! Comma splices! Please! Please! Please look for these especially! Comb every line! Let's remove every comma and replace it with full stops! Death to all sentences longer than 10 words!

Kidding, or course, but do look for them. Comma splices annoy me because worrying about them makes me remove lots of probably perfectly acceptable commas and replace them with full stops, resulting in very short lines and a story that reads in parts as if it was written for small children.

Worrying about these damn trivialities of punctuation really cramps my writing and turns it from something fluid and creative into a boring drudgery.

This is why there are editors, dammit![/rant!]

Italicize direct thoughts.
I'll be looking for these myself too, but if you notice any direct thoughts that aren't properly italicized or something, do let me know.

of the living,” he said while working
Missing comma. This is something of a chronic issue for you.
I can not for the life of me find any missing comma there. Anyone care to illuminate me?

It was breathtaking.
You really want to be careful with casual narration. You’re writing from 3rd person omniscient here, and so want to say objective unless directly relaying a character perspective. Be aware of the line as you carry on.
I have no idea what that comment is trying to tell me. I wasn't aware that I was writing omniscient, as far as I'm aware everything so far has been strictly limited to Dash's perspective, only those things she knows or can observe. This particular case is definitely not omniscient, it's just Dash' personal opinion. I mean, 'It was breathtaking' isn't something you need to be omniscient to think.

Am I missing something there?