Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solution

[Origomar]

If all other things remained equal, but she had been a man, what would your thoughts have been on the matter then?

Frankly, I doubt that "she's a tomboy" is an adequate explanation here. It's just plain immature.



In that case, continue to hang out with your friends, and at some point simply apologize to her for your earlier behaviour, but leave it at that. No mentions of "what could've been" or "I hoped for [something]" or hugs or such, just apologize, leave it at that, and continue on hanging with your friends. Doing any of those things after apologizing will only nullify your apology and set you back to creepy in her eyes, most likely. Hugging will be acceptable later on if you do it a lot with your other friends as well.

Also, how come you can't spend time with the vast majority of your friends without running into her? Do you always meet up as a large group somewhere?

Pretty much. Basically if im doing something with more than 2 or 3 of my friends together, she will be there(most of us are at college so we have to go back home to see one another, or all travel to one of our colleges). How we started hanging out is she invited me and two of my/her friends to her house for study party's for AP econ.

After like the second session we never got anything done lol. I really miss when she treated me like she wanted to be my friend .



edit:

Trust me, if you're anything like me, you'll do much worse than this in the next ten-plus years.

lol thats reassuring :P

I basically decided that im not going to try to be with anyone anymore. I don't want a repeat of this. I really liked her and would've been really happy if we were just friends, and i really don't want to lose someone else who i care about just because i couldn't control myself.