D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting

[SleepyShadow]

Thanks for the critique, Moreta. I agree with you, there is quite a bit of lost potential creepiness in that snippet. While there are certainly changes in wording that I could do to help things a bit, I feel that the majority of the impact of tense scenes like this is lost because of the protagonists of the story: the players.

My players are fine at role-playing emotions that come naturally to them: excitement, anger, annoyance, etc., but when it is an emotion that their characters would experience but they as players are detached from (fright, for example), it's much harder for them. When I describe a horror scene, I get reactions such as "eww, sick", "we dead yet?", or "that's freakin' freaky, man!". Usually accompanied with laughter or movie references.

I work with what I'm given, and I try to embellish on events as little as possible.