Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solution

[Thajocoth]

My girl is really stressed... And I don't know how to comfort her.

I'm in California. She lives with me, but is away finishing up her degree in Indiana. Her parents are in Texas.

It's been hard enough to comfort her over Skype with normal things... She's got an unfortunate combination of bipolar (type 1), reactive hypoglycemia*, school stress, and leaning her emotions too heavily on physical touch from me before going. She's taking medication for mania, depression and anxiety (this one being an anti-psychotic) as well as a handful of supplements.

Now her mother's having health issues... It seems to be related to memory. She's in her 60s and has been vegan for most of her life, priding herself on her good health from it (despite her bone problems that would likely be better if she had dairy...) She refuses to see a doctor about it as she doesn't want to "waste" money. (My girl's parents don't have any kind of decent health insurance. They run their own restaurant equipment repairing business and easily work more than 40 hour weeks. She does the office/financial side of things.)

My girl's final stretch of speech pathology education is being done in a nursing home. She sees these people degrading and sees all the medical stuff that's helping them. It's frustrating her immensely. My girl's brother is going to try to convince their mother tonight.

It's interrupting her sleep, and effecting her diet. This is all a great way to throw her into an bipolar episode, so I worry about my girl. Even with the meds, her emotions are still of a multiplied strength to begin with.

I just don't know how to comfort her. If she goes into a strong enough bipolar episode to disrupt her from finishing (She'll be done mid-December), then she won't get a 3rd chance to finish, which I think would just make things even worse for her. As long as she has me, I don't think she'd go fully suicidal again, but things could get really bad.

I will be seeing her this coming Friday. I took a couple days off and bought plane tickets (before all this happened). Once she's in my arms, she'll be a lot better. Just holding her does wonders for her. I'm only going to be there from Friday to Monday though. After that, I don't see her again until mid-December, immediately before the first anniversary of a commitment ceremony we had.

*Reactive hypoglycemia means that she reacts (emotionally) to what she eats. The more processed the food is, the more she'll react. White sugar causes the worst reaction. Wheat bread that isn't whole wheat causes much less of a reaction, but still some. It seems to make it more difficult for her to think. She describes that state as being "confused". Another way this can be triggered is by not eating often enough (every 3 hours on average, small portions), or not eating the right ratio of protein/fat/carbs in any particular meal.