LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax

[Astrella]

Spoilered for potential TMI:

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Tucking plus morning wood is NOT a comfortable combination

ow

Ouch. D:
I know that's one thing I'm not going to miss at all when I start 'mones. >.>

Worth it. Worth every second to be able to look down and not see a horrible bulge.

I just don't look down, ever. Or wear really loose long shirts.

Hmm... My gal recently discovered some trick involving women's briefs which she said works better with tucking and comfort than things she had tried before.

Oh, uhm, care to share?

Very much agreed . I've been lucky recently, though. Taking steps to become more...well, me, has lessened my dysphoria. Plus, mine doesn't seem to be quite as...sharp? as yours. It's more of a dull, deep, depressing ache that doesn't go away, instead of the sharp, "This is wrong!" that I think (quite possibly incorrectly; I'm just judging by what little I've read) you go through, to make a physical-pain analogy.

(Possibly triggering: dysphoria)

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Being aware of it basically opened up the floodgates for me I guess. Usually it's like a small nagging voice in the bag of my head, draining, but can be ignored. But the sudden moments that arrive without warning are awful; like I'm slowly sinking away in a pool of pure black with tendrils crawling up my skin giving me shivers and making me panicky and nervous and just wanting to run and hide forever.....

Still, I really hope you feel better soon, honey! *Hugs!* I know it sucks!
I think I've got a very over-active empathy muscle/brain area/thingy: every little thing I read, see or hear about happening to people changes my mood almost as if it's happening to me, and as I've been slowly unlocking my emotions more, it's been getting stronger. It's at the point where I'm getting very confused (and sometimes physically dizzy) about how I actually feel, because it's mixed in with all this other stuff. Maybe this is part of why I started hiding from my emotions in the first place?

Oh, that sounds really familiar! Finally admitting that I have emotions really made them so much stronger... I used to pride myself on being completely detached, which I guess was my way of suppressing things. And it sucks sometimes, especially when my friends are sad, but it's also very nice sometimes. I'm incredibly happy and it's probably a bit silly but being able to cry when I read something sad or when I'm really happy is really nice. It's like the world suddenly got colours. I cry very easily these days (just when emotional, not only bad stuff.), one of my best friends actually jokes that when I'll be on HRT I'll have tears dripping down non-stop.

As regards dysphoria and tucking, I find my dysphoria is very strongly keyed to appearance. If I can look at myself and see a girl - and almost more importantly, if I'm sure that other people looking at me are seeing a girl - I have far less dysphoria, no matter what I can feel from my body.

Hm hm. Those moments when I idly glance in the mirror and see a girl and can't make her go away a wave of happiness just washes over me.

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*hugs for everyone who wants / needs them*