Quote Originally Posted by Deadly View Post
I just want to be vague and mysterious, because the story has a LOT of mystery and I don't want to ruin that mystery before people even read the first chapter. I want to draw them in, and then reveal the mysteries.
It's a delicate balance, but at least for me, too much (or the wrong kind) of vagueness is actually a significant turn-off. As a comparison, if someone summarized their story as "Stuff happens. But it's exciting stuff!", would that entice you?

Now, it wouldn't surprise me in the least to find that I'm more sensitive to that kind of thing than the average person, but that's my take.

Also, the wording in the last version feels a bit clunky, although I'm not managing to come up with any specific suggestions for smoothing it.

Quote Originally Posted by Maxtronaut View Post
Exactly.

Also, hey Ponythread, any of you got a general guess as to how old Granny Smith is?
"Old."