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[otakuryoga]

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But the worst thing is what's going on with my friend. I tried asking on the Personal Advice thread, and I still don't know what to do. And it pisses me off royally. She wants to work things out, and would prefer no one get involved in business that isn't theirs. I know her situation, and want to respect her decisions.

At the same time, this jackass has been telling her all throughout the pregnancy that he wants her to have an abortion, and that he's not interested in being a dad, even though he's the father. And now that the baby's born, he flips the script between not wanting to take care of her and wanting to take her from the mom that actually does want her. The bastard's a drug abuser, gets mad when she even remotely spends any time with anyone else, even church friends ('s how I know her) spent time going in and out of prison, cuts himself worse than I do, breaks things around their home, and might even be threatening her and her daughter.

And I'm not supposed to do a damn thing about this? I could go to the police, to child services. I know where they live; I could be over there right now and do something about it! But because she's my friend, I'm supposed to just wait and let him potentially keep driving her life into the ground? I'm supposed to sit on my hands, powerless as a friend of mine's life goes into the toilet? It pisses me the hell off! I want to be ****ing furious about this all! Love and Tolerate everything may be the better route, but god damn it if it's not enough to make me want to tear out someone's throat!

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unfortunately the answer is yes..do nothing(unless its a situation where you are visiting and he gets violent RIGHT THEN)
as sad as it is you cannot help her until and unless she wants to be helped

she may genuinely love this guy(i would assume so anyway since she is still with him) and if you call in the authorities and get him sent where he deserves she may not react well..and if she finds out it was because of you you may lose her as a friend for years or forever

it may sound trite but just let her know she can talk to you about anything and you are ready to help if SHE decides to get out of the relationship